Tell if a Guy Likes You As More Than a Friend

Lately you and your favorite guy friend have been spending more time together. All of a sudden, you're blushing every time he talks and realize that you're ready for more than just friendship. What does this mean? Or maybe you do like him more than as a friend and you want to say something, but are afraid to make a move because you don't know if he feels the same way. Does he have you firmly planted in the Friend Zone, or does he reciprocate your warm and fuzzy feelings? Keep on reading!

Steps

Notice What He Says

  1. Observe the way he talks to you. His body language can reveal how he feels about you. Here are some things to consider:
    • Listen to his tone. While it may not appear important, it can show how much effort he has put into his words. If he sounds careful in his speech and hesitant, he may have placed some thought into what he is saying. Also, pay attention if he laughs at your awful jokes.
    • Take notice of his eye contact. Does he look you in the eye when he talks to you, or does he look around the room distractedly? If he maintains direct eye contact, it shows that you're his main focus and that he is interested in the conversation. However, keep in mind that he may avoid looking at you out of shyness.
    • Note if he gets easily distracted. If someone else approaches him while you're talking to him, does he instantly abandon your conversation? If this does occur more than once, he may not consider your words as important.
  2. Keep track of his topic choices. The subject of your conversation may indicate how he views you. Several signs to watch out for are:
    • Teasing. Playful teasing may hint that he wishes for you to tease back. If you're brave enough, add subtle flirting to spice up the mood.
    • Personal Information. Talking about his problems shows that he trusts you. Deeper subjects, such as his fears or family issues, may mean that he wants to take your relationship with him to a deeper level.
    • Compliments. Comments on your intelligence, appearance, etc. may be a sign that he admires who you are. If he seems to be complimenting you more than often, he might be interested in you.
    • His Manners. He may soften the edges of his rough personality when he is around you. For example, he might have vulgar behavior around his friends, but he makes an effort to be more refined with you. This is a sign that he is paying attention to you and what you say.
    • Discussions About Past Relationships. Your conversations with him may take a dip into your past relationships. This indicates that he is making a subtle attempt to see if you're single or interested in other boys.
      • If he makes constant attempts to set you up with another boy, he may be keeping you in the friend zone.
  3. Listen to his comments concerning other girls. It can tell you if he just wants your dating advice or if you're the girl he is after. Constant requests for advice indicate that he may be only interested in your opinion since you're a girl. However, he may also be asking for tips so that he can collect information on your dream guy.
    • Keep an eye on his past relationships. Short, frequent ones may indicate that he is either a true player or he is attempting to make you jealous.
  4. Keep an eye on how he acts when you're apart. Some shy boys make their feelings clearer online or over the phone. Identify the ways he communicates with you, using the following methods:
    • Phone Calls. His voice will reveal how he feels. A nervous tone, stuttering, and hesitancy may hint that he has feelings for you. Long conversations also push towards the possibility that you interest him. But if he doesn't return your calls or tries to cut you off as soon as possible, he may not want to pursue a serious relationship with you.
    • Email. Witty emails with good grammar point towards attempts to show off his cleverness and intelligence. This means he spends some time crafting his messages for your benefit.
    • Text Messaging. Maintaining contact outside of school or work means that he wants to include you in his life. Rather than reserving texting for formal means, he may use it to send you a joke or start conversations. If he puts extra effort into texting you, he may want to put extra effort into your relationship.
    • Facebook. Does he "like" a lot of your photos and post on your wall often? This may be a sign that he is keeping tabs on you.
    • Take all of this with a grain of salt. Some guys are not interested in phones, emails, or Facebook. He may prefer to see you in person, and there is nothing wrong with that!

Notice What He Does

  1. Pay attention to his body language. Body language can go a long way in showing you if he'd rather be cuddling with you than just hanging out. Notice the following:
    • Accidental touches. Attempts to break the touch barrier show that he wants to touch you more. Subtle brushes and hand contact may increase as your friendship progresses.
    • Staring. His admiration of you may come in the form of staring. If you catch his eye and he smiles before turning away, he knows that he has been caught looking at you.
    • Body Angles. See if his body is engaged while you're talking to him. If his entire body is turned toward you, he is open to what you have to say. He might also lean closer to you. However, realize that this method does not apply to every boy. Some may have a habit of sitting a certain way.
  2. Notice what he does for you. Does he go out of his way to be a good friend? This may be an attempt to catch your attention and win your heart. Look out for these signs to know when his actions cross the friendship barrier:
    • He is always doing favors for you. These favors come in the form of free car rides, fixing you a meal, picking up your laundry, etc. He may be angling for the boyfriend role.
    • He shows his thoughtfulness. If he brings back your favorite dessert from a bakery or buys you that book you've been meaning to read, he is paying attention to your needs.
    • He offers you comfort. Not many boys want to comfort an upset girl. But if he cares for you, he will be there to listen to your problems and offer a shoulder for you to cry on.
  3. Notice how he acts around other girls. Seeing how he treats them can tell you how he feels about you. Here are some ways to get a better sense of his true feelings:
    • He treats you differently than other girls. While he may be kind to others, you may be the only one he wants to be around in big groups. You also could be the only girl he teases or hugs. If you stick out differently from the other girls, this is a sign that he has his eyes set on you.
      • However, if you notice him teasing and touching every girl in a five-mile radius, he may just be a flirt.
    • He flaunts his relationships in front of you. If he is open to letting you hang out with him and his new date, he may see you as a friend.
      • However, if he has you there to see what you really think, this may be a sign that he knows you're the one for him. If he is hesitant about hanging with other girls, he might already see you as his girlfriend and feels like he is being disloyal.
  4. See if he goes out of his way to be with you. This is a sure-fire sign that he wants to take things to the next level. Here are some ways to know how he really feels:
    • He constantly asks you to hang out. This is an obvious indicator that he wants you to be with him more often. It also gives him the chance to ask you out or get closer with you.
    • He tries to sidle up to you while you're in groups. If he wants to be your partner during class or in a game, chances are, he can't get enough of you.
    • He constantly claims that he is "in your area" and asks if he can stop by. If he's making excuses for why he wants to hang out, he might be embarrassed about how much he wants to be with you.

Look at How and How Often You Hang Out

  1. Note the types of things you do together. Are you engaging in more date-like activities, or are you on the buddy system? Taking a long hard look at how you hang out can help you understand his real intentions. Here are some things to consider:
    • Are you doing couple-y things together without being a couple? Do you find yourself grocery shopping, cooking dinner together, or even going to the Farmer's Market with one grocery bag? These may be signs that he sees you as a girlfriend already.
    • When you hang out, are you hanging solo or with a big group of people? This may indicate if he wants to see you a more than a friend.
      • If he invites his ten best friends or entire fraternity to join you when you hang out, he may not see you as more than a friend. But pay attention--if he only invites other couples to join you, he probably wants to pair off with you.
      • But if he invites his siblings, best friends, or if (yikes!) you somehow end up meeting his parents, this is a sure-fire sign that he wants you to be a serious part of his life.
  2. Note how often you hang out. You can tell a lot about what he really thinks by considering how often and for how long you hang out.
    • Note the frequency of your hang-outs. If you hardly go a day without seeing him, he may want to spend his nights with you as well as the days. However, if you only see him once a month or so and he lives in your neighborhood, then he may not want to see you more often.
    • Note how long you hang out for when you see him. Does your coffee date turn into a three-hours philosophical discussion, or is he gone in the time it takes you to ask for the check? If he can't stop talking to you, this is a sign that he wants something more from you.

Analyze When and Where You're Hanging Out

  1. Note where you're hanging out. One of the easiest ways to see if he sees you as more than a friend is to note the places where you're hanging out. Here are some ways to see if he's trying to kick your relationship up a notch:
    • If you go out to eat, note the type of restaurant. If you're at a fun, loud, tapas bar, he may see you as more than a friend, but if you're at a quiet, candle-lit restaurant with fine wine, he may be trying to tell you something. However, if he sits down next you at the school cafeteria, that may not mean he's in the market for romance.
      • Look around at the other people at the restaurant. Are they couples ogling each other, or friends laughing and chatting it up? This may say something about what he has in mind for you.
      • Don't overthink it. He may really like you--but he might also really like Korean BBQ. The location can be a good indicator, but it can't tell you everything.
    • If he invites you to the movies, what kind of a movie is it? Are you watching a romantic comedy or tear-jerker, or are you watching a bloody war film or a documentary? His choice of flick may tell you if he wants to put his arm around you or if he just wants a buddy.
    • If you go to see a show, is it a low-lit jazz show or a female crooner, or a loud death metal concert that makes you go partially deaf? Is it the kind of place where you stand up and rock out, or sit down to romantically enjoy the show?
  2. When you hang out can be just as important as where. This can be a clue to whether he sees you as a casual friend or if he's trying to take things to the next level. Pay attention to two things in particular:
    • Do you meet during the day, or in the evenings? There's a big difference between a lunch date and a dinner date, or morning coffee and an evening drink. If you tend to hang out more during the day, then you're currently hanging out in the friend zone--but that doesn't mean he doesn't want more.
    • Do you hang out during the week or weekends? If you're meeting up on Monday instead of Friday, you may find yourself in friend territory once more.

Find Out if He Really Likes You

  1. Ask around. An easy way to find out how he feels is simply to ask other people. Of course, you should do this with caution because you don't want him to find out what you really think about him. Here are some ways to find out:
    • Casually ask his friends. Ask his friends if he's seeing anyone or if he has feelings for anyone. Pick a friend you really trust, though--it will be hard to find a guy who breaks bro-code and doesn't report to him immediately.
    • Ask your girlfriends what they think. Your friends have seen the two of you together and can be honest about their assessment of the situation.
    • Have your friends ask him. Again, proceed with caution. If it's not too obvious, have one of your girlfriends ask him if he has his eye on someone special. She can pretend that she wants to set him up with someone else, for example.
  2. Don't stalk or snoop. There's no way to turn off a guy faster than to be the obsessive girl who tries to learn every detail of his life. Here are some things to avoid at all costs:
    • Looking through his phone. If he leaves his phone out, do not look through it to see if he's texting other girls. If he catches you, he will see that as a big red flag.
    • Looking through his email or Facebook messages. If he walks away from his computer for a minute, avoid the temptation to be a snoop.
    • Following him around to see who he's hanging out with. This may put him more in the mood for a restraining order than romance.
  3. Be brave and tell him how you feel! In the end, things may not move forward if you don't take the initiative. If you're pretty sure he likes you or are just feeling brave and like you have nothing to lose, then go ahead and tell him how you feel.
    • Be lighthearted. Don't take it too seriously. Don't arrange a time and place to meet up and say, "I have something important to tell you." Just find the right moment to tell him you have a crush on him and are wondering if he feels it too. Don't make it a big deal--you don't want him to feel bad if he doesn't feel the same way.
    • Be creative. Find a fun way to tell him how you feel. You can send him a note, a Valentine, or ask him to solve a riddle. Don't overdo it, but if you think outside the box, he may be impressed.
  4. Don't be disappointed if he doesn't reciprocate your feelings. In the end, it may just not be meant to be. If you want to continue the friendship, here are some things to keep in mind:
    • Don't be too disappointed if he doesn't share your feelings. This will just make everyone feel bad in the end. It's better to play it off.
    • Remind yourself what a great friend he is and how lucky you are to have him. You may have missed out on a chance at romance, but you have a great friend for life.
    • Know when you need to take a break. If your crush has blossomed into full-blown love, it may be time to take a break from the friendship because it will hurt too much. If you stop crushing on him, you can return to hanging out, but there's nothing worse than torturing yourself by hanging out with someone who doesn't share your feelings.

Tips

  • Be yourself! If he doesn't like you for who you are then he's not worth it.
  • There are guys who will lose interest in you if you don't show interest in them--showing just a little bit can help. This particularly goes for the more shy guys.
  • If you want him to notice you, don't make it too obvious. He'll think you are insane and start to avoid you.
  • Ask him if he likes anyone in your class. He might blush or look down. If so, that means that he could be thinking of a lie.
  • Don't start acting like a total guy around him because he'll start considering you more of one of the guys.
  • Find out what he likes and learn more about it. It will turn him on if you two have a lot of things in common.
  • If you know your guy friend is a major flirt, chances may be slightly different. He might just be trying to flirt with you for fun.
  • You have to be confident in yourself!!
  • Appearance is important! Make sure your breath smells fine, and try to use a body spray or perfume to make you're own scent. Don't overdo anything, though!! And notice little things like that on him also.
  • Attitude is key, and not just confidence. Be positive and happy, and try to tuck your hair behind your ear when you talk to him, just to add a little extra.
  • Don't giggle a lot when you're with your friends and he passes by - guys become paranoid about what you are saying, and not in a good way!
  • Don't just flirt—get to know him first.
  • Tell him the truth, but don't chase him if he doesn't feel the same.

Warnings

  • He may be the type of guy who always has a girl for a best friend. He may be exhibiting many of the signs, but he may really just see you as a super-close friend. Note his past friendships to see if there's a pattern.
  • Don't be too intimidating or really be attached to him. He may not be ready for this change.

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