Deal With Your Young Children When They Interrupt You
All children interrupt their parents when they are talking to someone. Learn why and how to respond appropriately.
Steps
- Expect your young children to interrupt you.
- For very young children, be prepared with distractions; a basket full of interesting objects from home or the dollar store, snacks, a small bowl of uncooked rice or beans with measuring spoons and cups.
- Start when they begin to talk. Teach them to either put their hand on your knee if you are sitting or to hold your hand if you are standing instead of beginning to speak. A three year old can easily do this. Touch the child to let him know that you realize he's waiting (eg. lay your hand on his while it's on your knee). The younger the child, the sooner you should break your conversation and ask your child what it is they want to say.
- Teach your child how to get your attention politely as soon as they are able to understand. Polite interruptions should be acknowledged and dealt with promptly. Rude interruptions, such as nagging, yelling or tugging at your shirt, should be dealt with negatively and not rewarded. (For example, if your child keeps calling "Mommy, mommy!" while you are in the middle of something, unless it is a real emergency, tell them that whatever it is they want, they can't have because they were rude).
- Politely let your child know when they are interrupting and ask them to wait. Try something such as "Please don't interrupt me while I am talking. When I am finished talking, you may say what you were going to say, but please wait until I am finished". Try not to be rude or come across as annoyed, such as exclaiming, “Can’t you see I’m talking to someone!?" While you may think you’re teaching reasoning skills, you are actually teaching lessons on how to respond rudely to others, and that will teach your child to start doing so too.
- Expect adults to wait. If your child is politely seeking your attention, kindly ask adults to please hold on while you quickly respond to your child’s interruption. Others will admire your politeness and patience. Thank them for holding within earshot of your child.
- Have a long term plan for teaching manners. By age four, your expectations for kind behavior should be increasing. At this age, remind your child of your rules about interrupting and suggest what they should do if they want your attention while you are talking to someone else.
- Understand that interrupting becomes less (although never completely - to be realistic) when children show signs of understanding another person’s point of view. In the meantime, understanding their developmental limitations must be taken into account. Always remember that children learn positive traits by constant exposure to positive attitudes and behaviors, especially by their parents.
Tips
- Bottom Line: When you calmly respond to your young children’s interruptions, they feel important and understood. If you yell or speak rudely to them, they will learn to treat others the same. Be patient during these egocentric years of development, or you’ll find yourself in a constant state of frustration. This kind of frustration will lead your child to think that he disappoints you. Negative thoughts get harder and harder to shed. Negative thinking turns into low self-esteem. You have the power not to let this happen.
Related Articles
- Discipline a Child
- Be Patient
- Relate to Children
- Be a Good Parent
- Deal With Annoying Kids
- Get Your Young Child to Really Talk to You
- Respond to a Frustrated Child
