Deal With a Guy Who Thinks You Like Him
This article explains how to can react when a guy who keeps following you thinks you are in love with him and adore him, but in fact, you are not interested in him. Keep reading if that's the case.
Steps
- Talk to him. Find him when he is in a quiet area and make sure none of his friends are around. If his friends are around it will only make him feel worse. Once alone, explain to him that he is a really good guy and anything else that you know and believe are to be true. Stay away from words like "nice" or "sweet"; we all know that nice guys finish last, so even guys who are nice people will find them mildly insulting. Explain to him that you are only interested in being friends, and tell him you don't want to hurt his feelings. Talking to him will help him realize the truth. Unless you truly mean it, don't give any hope of a romantic relationship in the future.
- Be nice, but don't flirt. If you've known him for a while, and he has just gotten over your friend and moved on to you, then be really nice but extremely careful not to flirt at all with him. If you do, you will have a bit of a problem.
- If he does not like you but thinks you are totally obsessed with him, relax. Just tell him (over the Internet perhaps) that you got over him months ago and it's no big deal. If he doesn't believe you, then he's just being stupid and you are wasting your time on an idiot.
- If you just can't get him to leave you alone, ignore him. Shun him. Walk away. Avoid him to the fullest extent. After a day or two of this, if he tries to talk again, do so, but make it clear you do not like him! If he does not try to talk to you and gives up, then you went too far. Try to talk to him and see if you can get it through his head that you don't like him.
- If you want to avoid drama, just be straight and to the point and just tell him. Good communication will ensure that you can skip the first four useless steps of beating around the bush.
- Don't feel bad. You feelings are perfectly valid. If you feel really bad after you talk to him, he could see that. You don't want both of you feeling miserable.
- Don't hang out with him too often! A guy who likes you is looking for reasons to believe that you like him back. The old saying, "people see what they want to see," has some truth to it. In other words, going out of your way to hangout with him, or hanging out with him too often, may be misinterpreted as attraction, in which case you would have to return to step #1.
- Avoid doing "borderline romantic" things. This includes hugging, dancing together (group classes are OK), watching the night sky, etc. Limit physical contact to handshakes and high-fives. You do not want to create any false hope.
Tips
- Don't flirt with him. If you told him you don't like him and then start flirting he will get mixed messages and feel very confused, lost and/or hurt.
- Talk to him casually. Be nice, and don't bring up what 'happened' in the past.
- Be nice to him, especially if he likes you. Don't flirt, but just don't be a total jerk either. Just treat him like any other friend
- Use your friends, not in a bad way, but have them help you get him to believe that you don't like him.
- Don't ignore him. This will only make him feel worse.
Warnings
- He might try to act like he does not like you after you told him you don't like him. This is normal and just don't dwell on it.
- If he's actually being creepy and stalking you and won't believe a word that you say about not liking him, avoid talking with him completely, not just for one or two days.
- If you flirt, then he will automatically assume that you like him, and that is just what you don't want to.
- Try your hardest to seem without him you are happy
- Speak authoritatively and unambiguously when you tell the guy you're not interested. He may seem upset initially, but he will respect you for being clear with him.
- Don't be mean or rude to him. This will hurt his feelings a lot.
- Flirt with some of his friends.
