Turn Down a Boy when He Asks You Out

It is difficult knowing what to say when a boy asks you out and you really don't feel for him like that. Don't panic, read these steps and let him down gently.

Steps

  1. Ask him why he's interested in you. There are boys in this world who just want you for your beauty, and body or because they want to be well known. Not because you're kind or smart or independent or brave or strong or courageous and etc. If it's all for the wrong reasons then politely tell him you're not interested in being in a relationship with them.
  2. Watch how they act when they tell you why they're interested in you. Some may act nervous and fidgety because they're lying or because they feel like they're a stalker for noticing all this. If they laugh and act like it's a joke then it's probably because they're not serious or they think it's romantic. You can usually tell the difference.
  3. If he is a really genuine person imagine you are in his shoes. You can't really say no and not hurt him, but if you do it gently you can remain friends.
  4. Calmly and gently say that you are really sorry, but you don't see him in that way. Explain that you prefer him more as just a friend(if he was a friend), but you are flattered.
  5. Apologize for leading him on or giving him signs, even if you didn't notice or mean to.
  6. Wait for his reply. Hopefully, he will react well and ask if you can still be friends, or something like that. If his reaction is sadness, try to console him and tell him that you are always there as a friend - but avoid physical contact as this could exasperate him further. If his reaction is anger and he gets violent or aggressive, just give him a sympathetic look and say "I'm sorry" and walk away from him as causally and as fast as you can. Or if you're lucky and a friend happens to near by call them out and start a conversation and act really interested with while leaving him like your friend is telling you something very interesting and amusing.
  7. Change the subject, where possible, and try to act like it hasn't happened. Probably talk about all the things you look for in a guy and what you don't like. And if you want to avoid him asking you out for a while(or ever) just causally say "I'm not really interested in going out right now. I would like to just be friends first before taking things up a notch" or just simply "I'm not interested in going out right now."
  8. Imagine you are the boy... it probably took a good while for him to build up the courage to ask you out.
  9. You can always tell him that you are flattered that he asked you out, but that you're not interested in pursuing something romantic with him.

Tips

  • Don't sound harsh, just be gentle and nice. You don't want to lose him as a friend, or have it get back to the person you really fancy that you are a total cow!
  • Don't try to act flirty with him.
  • Don't tell him you're busy, or play other such mind-games. It won't stop him, and it's really unkind. Don't expect him to take any hints. Be as direct as possible without being rude.
  • Be very honest, as long as you are not mean about it.
  • Do not be condescending. This is really bad to do and will only make the situation extremely awkward.
  • Act calm and simply say "I am really sorry but I am not interested".
  • If you feel you are truly not ready, just let him know. You don't have to make a long speech about the reasons why you don't like him or find him attractive. A short clear answer is usually best.
  • Don't bring it up when talking with others - for example, in a group chat. This will just make things awkward.
  • Say "no, thank you" and walk away. Don't cause any unnecessary drama.

Warnings

  • It's hard to turn someone down who you really care about. If it is a close friend, and you feel really upset doing it, take a deep breath and just do it.
  • Just take a deep breath. Gently say no, but don't scream it. You still might be able to be friends, but just act normal the next day.
  • NEVER spread gossips about him. There's little point in giving him a hard time. He's likely to think other women in your group would say no as well.
  • Even if you know it's coming don't be too mean, for instance saying "I'm not that desperate yet." That may manipulate to other boys, and you may never get a really good chance again.
  • Never reply by asking "Why?" This confuses the boy and might be taken as highly offensive.

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