Get a Girl's Phone Number
If you've met a girl you really like, getting her phone number can be an important yet daunting task. You may feel nervous, but this doesn't need to be a complicated or overwhelming process. The best way to get a girl's phone number is to simply charm her through attentive conversation and ask for her digits directly, while avoiding pitfalls like tricking her or getting your friends to do the work for you. By staying calm and confident, you'll likely make a good impression.
Contents
Steps
Making Friends First
- Take it easy and slow. You need to relax before you even approach the girl. Even if you know you want to get her number as soon as you spot her, you won't be able to do it if you don't chill out first. She'll be able to sense if you're nervous from a mile away, and if you're nervous, she will be nervous too or you might scare her off.
- Though it's normal to be nervous if you're feeling scared or shy, the girl may wonder, "What's up with this guy?" She may think that there's something off about you even if you're having an ordinary case of the jitters.
- Calm yourself down by considering the worst-case scenario. The worst thing that can happen is this: you ask for her phone number, and she won't give it to you. Can you survive that? Probably.
- Meet the girl. Once you've calmed down, it's time to come up to the cutie and crank up the charm. Make eye contact, smile, and go up to her to show her what a great guy you are. If you want to keep her talking, you have to make a great first impression as quickly as you can. Here's how to do it:
- Be confident. Show her that you love who you are, that you're happy with what you do, and that you love meeting new people. If she thinks you feel good about who you are, she'll feel good about you too. Chances are, she will be excited when she finds out you are interested in her,
- Give her all of your attention. This doesn't mean that you should creepily stare into her eyes. It does mean that you should turn your body toward her, put your phone away, and make her see that what she says matters to you.
- Make her laugh. The easiest way to make her like you is to charm her with your wit.
- Take the conversation up a notch. Once you get the basics out of the way, like your names and where you're from, you should start to connect with the girl on a deeper level. This doesn't mean that you should ask her about her life philosophy or about the most meaningful experience of her childhood, but it does mean that you should move past the introductions. Here's how to do it:
- Ask her some questions about herself. Don't interview her. Just ask about her siblings, about a movie she's seen, or what she thinks of her job. Let her see that you care about her opinions.
- Open up. Make sure that you're both talking about the same amount. You don't want to put pressure on her by asking a lot of questions without revealing anything about yourself, but you shouldn't hog the conversation either.
- Tease her. Once you build a good rapport, start to playfully make fun of her a little bit. If she's wearing an obviously decorative chunky gold necklace, hold it and say, "Is that real gold?"
- Compliment her. Don't tell her she's the most beautiful woman you've ever seen. Just tell her she has an amazing laugh, or that her eyes are striking. Don't go overboard! Make sure to stay cool.
- Get her to like you. Once you've moved past the introductions and have charmed her initially, it's time to get her to like you enough to want to spend time with her again. She doesn't have to think that you're the man she's been waiting for all her life; all she has to think is, "Hey, this guy is cool. I want more of this." Here's how to get her to want to see you again:
- Build witty banter. Show her that you like to tease her, have her tease you, and keep up your end of a sharp conversation. If she says something funny, answer back with a funny quip instead of just laughing and saying, "That's funny." This will show her that you can keep up with her if you hang out again.
- Reveal something a little more personal. Don't get so personal that you make her uncomfortable, but tell her something that makes her heart melt just a little bit and see that you're not just all about the jokes, but that you really do have a softer side.
- Have her open up to you. Lean in a little closer, and encourage her to tell you something about herself that she doesn't tell just anyone. Start building a strong connection.
- Bring up something from earlier in the conversation. Women love this if you do it correctly. If something from the beginning from your conversation comes up again, you can impress her by showing that you remember everything she says.
- Ask for her number at the peak of the conversation. Don't wait for things to lag, or you'll lose. Just when you're having the most fun talking to the girl, or when you're laughing the hardest, is exactly when you should ask. When you reach the point where you think, "I'm having such a great time talking to this girl that I don't even want to interrupt it by asking for her phone number," you should ask immediately. Here are the two best ways to do this:
- Ask her out. Instead of asking for her phone number, ask her out on a date. In the middle of a great conversation, just say, "I have to go, but I really want to keep up this conversation over dinner or drinks next week. Would you like that?" If she says she would like it — and at this point, she should — then you should ask for her number to coordinate.
- Ask for her number directly. Just when the conversation is going as well as it can, say, "Hey, I really like talking to you. Can I get your number so we can keep talking?" Make it clear that you're asking for her number because you want to hang out again, not because you want to send her creepy texts or because you get a rush from getting girls' phone numbers.
- React appropriately. Don't cheer and pump your fist in the air and say, "Yes!" when she gives you her number. Just say, "awesome, thanks," and tell her you'll call her soon. Then say goodbye and walk off with your head held high. And if she says no, shrug it off and say it's not a problem — it was great to meet her anyway.
The Two-Minute Drill
- Find your girl. If you spot an absolutely gorgeous girl, or just a girl who looks so cute or charming that you want to know her better, then it couldn't hurt to quickly ask for her number. To do this in two minutes, you have to make every second count. First, make sure she's receptive. She could be standing by herself or with girlfriends, not engaged in a deep conversation or looking like she's searching for someone.
- Once you've found the perfect girl, wow her with a big grin and strong eye contact.
- Charm her with your approach. Walk up to the girl like you're on a mission. After all, you are. Turn toward her and tell her your name. Ask her what her name is. No matter what the name is, tell her it's a beautiful name.
- Make her laugh.
- Tell her that you're usually not so forward, but that the second you saw her, you knew that you just had to know her.
- Ask for her number. Tell her that you absolutely have to get going but that you knew you'd regret it if you didn't at least try to get her number so you could get to know her better in the future. Say, "I really wish I could get to know you now and to show you what a great guy I am, but I have to get going. Can I get your number so we can pick this up later?"
- If she gives you her number, thank her and say you're excited to get to know her. Then walk away quickly, like you really are busy.
- If she won't give it to you, just laugh and say, "You can't blame me for trying!" After all, you just took a risk. Be proud of yourself for making an effort.
What Not to Do
- Don't ask too soon. Though the two-minute drill can be effective, the ten-second drill won't charm any girl no matter how slick you think you are. You should take enough time to introduce yourself to the girl, to ask her name, and to let her quickly see that you're a cool guy she'd like to see again.
- Don't just walk up to a girl and say, "Hey, I want to hang out with you later. Can I get your number?"
- Don't ask for her number without telling her your name.
- Don't ask if the conversation lags. If you feel a lag in the conversation, or the girl keeps looking around the room, checking her phone, or trying to make eye contact with her friends so they save her from you, then you've missed your chance. Sorry, buddy. Better luck next time.
- If both of you are struggling to find something to say, then don't ask for her number. Why would she want to give it to you — so you can sit in awkward silence some more another time?
- If she says goodbye to you and starts walking away, don't ask for her number. If she wanted you to ask, she would have lingered.
- Don't have your friends ask for you. This is a no-brainer. Unless you're in middle school, you have to put on your big boy pants and ask her yourself. If your friends ask for you, you will look shy, insecure, and not like a real man.
- If a girl thinks you're not assertive enough to ask for her phone number, how can she expect you to impress her when you hang out?
- Don't trick her into giving you her number. Some people may think it's a good idea for you to go up to the girl and to say, "Oh, shoot, I can't find my phone, do you mind if I give it a call from your phone?" Then, the girl will technically give you her number and you will "discover" that your phone is in your pocket. She'll see what you're up to and will think you're pretty lame, unless you can be really suave about it and laugh and say, "I bet you never thought I could get your number." You may get some cleverness points for this one, but it's more likely that the girl will think you were too cowardly to ask for her number the normal way. There are better ways to go about it.
Tips
- Learn her interests so you have something to text about.
- One method that usually works is giving your number first. If you use an excuse such as, "I've got to go in a minute. Here's my number if you want to call or text me," and then wait for her to give you hers.
- If she's with a guy, it's probably her boyfriend or husband. This isn't always the case, but be careful. Use your head, watch how they interact, and decide what to do.
- Always look for a wedding ring first. It would be embarrassing to ask a married woman to hang out with you.
- Don't be afraid to just start a conversation with a girl if she's by herself or with other people even a male friend. If you walk up to her and say something and start to get in a conversation she will soon introduce you.
- Girls who don't play games like it when you are straight with them. You can simply ask her for your number.
- Don't be discouraged if your plan doesn't work. The more times you try asking for a girl's number, the more likely you'll be to get a positive response.
- Be direct. Just ask!
- Just asking is not always a great idea! Talk to her first.
- Keep good eye contact!
- Please don't forget to look nice and wear your best clothes if you plan on asking for her phone number, she wouldn't want to give a guy her number if you smell bad or look sloppy.
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