Get a Guy to Stop Calling You

It can be really annoying to get constant calls from a guy you don't want to talk to, whether it's an ex-boyfriend or someone you've never had any interest in. You may not know how to tell him that you don't want to talk to him, but if you don't do it, he'll probably never stop calling! A lot of times you can get a guy to stop calling you by simply being honest with him about your lack of interest. If your problem is more serious and involves stalking or harassing calls, it's important to contact the authorities instead of trying to work things out on your own.

Steps

Telling the Guy the Truth

  1. Make up your mind. Before you do anything, it's important for you to understand what you actually want to happen. Do you want the guy to never call you again or do you just want him to ease up with the frequency of the calls? Have a clear understanding of your own feelings before you confront him about it.
  2. Communicate your wishes. If you really want a guy to stop calling you, you need to let him know. Don't put off the conversation because it's awkward. The problem is not likely to go away by itself![1]
    • In-person conversations are usually best if you're in a relationship with the guy. This conversation will probably be hurtful to him, but it's more polite to confront him in person and give him the opportunity to talk to you about it instead of sending a text or a Facebook message.
    • If you're friendly with the guy, talking in person or over the phone is probably better than an impersonal message.
    • If you don't really know the guy or he makes you uncomfortable in any way, don't meet him in person. A text or Facebook message will do the trick.
    • Try to provide the guy with a simple reason for why you do not want him to call you. It's usually better to say something that has something to do with a lack of compatibility instead of insulting him with personal attacks. Saying, "I don't want to see you anymore because our personalities are not a good fit for one another" is better than saying, "I don't want to see you anymore because I think you're lazy and stupid."[2]
  3. Be firm. Be very clear about what you want. You don't have to mean or insult the guy, but make sure that you are firm enough that he understands that you mean what you say.[3]
    • If you never want to hear from him again, make sure he understands that. Don't send mixed messages by saying you can still be friends if you don't want to be.
    • If you are trying to maintain some kind of relationship or friendship with the guy, but you don't want him to call you as often as he has been, be sure to explain exactly how often you are comfortable talking with him.
    • Some guys will keep asking you questions in order to keep you talking to them. Once you have said what you need to say, you do not need to keep indulging him by answering his questions. Tell him you have nothing more to say about the matter and walk away.[2]
    • If the guy does not abide by the boundaries you have set, it's important that you don't cave in and talk to him.[2]

Stopping Harassing Phone Calls

  1. Ignore the calls. One of the easiest ways to get a guy to stop calling you is to stop responding to him altogether. Do not answer his calls, respond to his text messages or emails, or contact him in any other way. Most guys will understand that you do not want to talk to them if you consistently ignore their calls.
    • Some guys might interpret any kind of response on your part as progress, which is why it is important not to respond to harassing calls in any way, even if it is just to tell the person to stop calling you.[4]
  2. Block his number. If the guy is not getting the message that you don't want to talk to him and he continues to call you even though you don't answer his calls, it might be time to block his number. Many cell phones have features that allow you to block numbers directly from the device. If your phone can't do this, you may be able to call your phone provider and have them block the number for you.
    • Some phone companies may not block numbers for you until you have filed a police report against the person who is harassing you.
    • Keep in mind that this will only work if he calls you from one or two numbers. If the guy starts calling your phone from payphones or from his friends' phones, you will have a hard time blocking all of his calls.
  3. Change your number. If the guy has managed to get through to you even though you blocked his number, you may have no other option than to change your phone number.[5]
    • Keep your new number as private as possible so that he can't find it. If it's a home phone number, make sure it is not listed in the phone book. Also tell your friends not to give out your new number without your permission.
    • You can also consider getting a second number to give only to people you actually want to talk to. You may be able to resume using your old number after some time. This method is also helpful if you want to maintain evidence of the guy's persistent calls.
    • If you don't want to actually change your number, but you want the guy to believe that you did, you could try having someone else answer your phone or record your voicemail message for you.
    • If you use Google Voice, the service will help you convince unwanted callers that you have changed your number by playing a message stating that the number is no longer in service to anyone who calls from a number that you have blocked.[6]
  4. Report harassment or stalking. If you ever feel threatened by this guy in any way, it is critical to report it to the police right away. You may be able to get a restraining order against the guy, which will prevent him from contacting you in the future. You may also be able to file criminal charges against him for stalking.
    • Stalking includes any actions taken with the intent to kill, injure, harass, or intimidate a person, and which cause a person to be fearful for his or her own life or the lives of others or to suffer severe emotional distress.[7]
    • If you are pursuing an kind of legal case against the guy who is stalking you, keep as much evidence as possible, including text messages and voicemail messages. If the laws in your state allow you to do so, you may also want to record conversations between the two of you to prove that you have in fact told him to leave you alone.

Tips

  • If you don't like him, avoid giving him your number in the first place.
  • It may be uncomfortable, but being direct is your best bet. The guy may not get the message if you try dropping subtle hints.

Warnings

  • Stalking is a serious matter. Always report it right away.
  • Always think of your safety first. Never agree to meet the guy alone, even if he says he just wants to talk it out.
  • If you are a minor, let your parents know right away if someone is harassing you. They can help you take care of the problem in a safe way.
  • Never record a conversation with anyone without looking into your state's laws. You may be committing a crime by recording him without his knowledge.

Related Articles

Sources and Citations

  1. ↑ http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/problems/break-up.html#
  2. ↑ 2.0 2.1 2.2 https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/smart-relationships/201311/why-women-have-hard-time-saying-no
  3. ↑ http://psychcentral.com/lib/10-way-to-build-and-preserve-better-boundaries/
  4. ↑ http://www.nytimes.com/1998/08/25/science/personal-health-do-s-and-don-ts-for-thwarting-stalker.html
  5. ↑ https://www.privacyrights.org/content/how-put-end-unwanted-or-harassing-phone-calls
  6. ↑ http://www.computerworld.com/article/2491931/social-media/software-that-lies--so-you-don-t-have-to--.html
  7. ↑ https://www.victimsofcrime.org/our-programs/stalking-resource-center/stalking-laws/federal-stalking-laws#61a
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