Make a Man Believe You're The One

Landing “The One” is a combination of science, emotion and investment. This is a sincere introspective into what seriously makes a man say, "Wow. She's the one." It's not a series of flirtatious moves combined mathematically with a certain ratio of lip gloss to mascara. The key is in truth, honesty and respect for one another.

Steps

Standing Out

  1. Get his friends in your corner. The friend group is a strong barometer. They will often have a quick and strong reaction as to whether they are supporting this match or dismissing it.[1] Be friendly with his friends. Find genuine interest in who they are and they will likely return that interest in you.
    • Spend some time just chatting with his friends without him around.
    • Ask them specific questions about their lives. Talk more about them than about yourself.
    • If they invite you to do something, give it a shot, even if it’s new to you. Accept an invitation into the fold.
  2. Highlight your best qualities. Allow him to see your best talents in action. Impress him by inviting him to see what you are really good at.
    • If you have an artistic talent, invite him to see you play music or see your art in a gallery. He will see how others are impressed with you and feel like being with you makes him special.
    • If you have a great sense of fashion, make plans to attend an event where you can dress up. He will see how you stand out ahead of the rest, and feel proud to be arm-in-arm.
  3. Convince him you are hard to get. This is different than "playing hard to get." Let him know that you have very discerning taste. You have a lot of interest from others and people available to you, but you don't like just anyone. You have chosen him.

Fostering a Relationship

  1. Listen to him. Be genuinely interested in what he has to say and practice active listening so that he knows you are hearing and understanding him.[2]
    • Smile and nod as he is speaking to acknowledge that you are hearing him and encourage him to continue talking.
    • Focus on what he is saying instead of how you are going to respond.
    • Avoid interrupting him or directing the conversation off of him and onto yourself or your perspective.
    • Repeat what he has said back to him using phrases like, "What I hear you saying, is..."
  2. Laugh with him, but don’t laugh at him. In a relationship, men fear being laughed at as much as women fear rape and murder.[3] While you certainly can laugh at his amazing sense of humor, this should make him feel smart and funny. Never tear him down or belittle him, but show support and respect.
  3. Support him. Allow him to spend time following his passions and dreams. Celebrate his successes and help him through the hard times. If you prove you are there for him, you will be the one he turns to in these extreme times, and the one he wants to share these life events with.
  4. Don't be jealous. Understand that he may want to spend time with friends and that this does not discount your relationship. Beware of projecting a problem onto the other person. This happens when, instead of dealing with our own internal anxiety or paranoia, we externalize that problem and blame the other person.[4]
    • Ask yourself if these thoughts and feelings are justified.
    • Find the root of where the problem is coming from.
    • Reassure yourself that this is your own problem, and that means you can control it.
  5. Handle conflict and stress. Everything is not always going to be perfect. Relationships get hard and life is even harder. When he is going through a hard time, handle it with calm comfort. When the two of you run into trouble, address it calmly and head on.
    • Make him feel safe to address a conflict with you and not fear that you will hold it against him. Don't tear him down or attack him for expressing his thoughts.[5]
    • Be open to the conversation and possible solutions rather than insisting that you are right.[5]
  6. Appreciate him for who he is. Don’t try to change him. This doesn’t really work and we should not want to change someone we truly care about. Both of you may make sacrifices along the way, but none should be forced on the other person.
  7. Bring out the best in him. Being with you should make him want to be a better person. Keep doing all of the impressive things you are good at, which make you an incredible human being. Set goals and go for them. Watching you achieve your goals will be an inspiration as you encourage him to achieve his own.

Sealing the Deal

  1. Align your major beliefs. While you will both have differences in your preferences, taste and style, it is imperative that your major beliefs be in line. Strong opposing beliefs will eventually put a severe strain on the future of the relationship. Talk about your goal, plans and lifestyle to see how well it matches. You don’t have to grill him on this too early, but if it looks like things are getting serious, it is a good idea to delve into these ideals.[6]
    • What are your thoughts on marriage?
    • Do you want to have children?
    • What are your religious beliefs?
  2. Keep the flame alive. Once the initial romance begins to fade and become comfortable, so couple disengage from each other.[5] Don't become too comfortable in the relationship that you forget to show affection and have fun together.
    • Put your phone down and focus on him when you are spending time together.
    • Keep planning dates and doing activities together which you both enjoy.
  3. Keep the playing field even. Don’t hold a grudge or keep track of shortcomings. You will need to actually forgive him if he makes a mistake. Punishing him will only drive him away.[7]
  4. Make your own rules. Society sets all kinds of standards for what a relationship should like like and how we should behave. Your relationship is your own. You created it and can live it whatever way you both decide. Being open to what he wants even if it is different from the norm, could be what really sets you apart as “the one!”
    • You may get some flack every now and again from people who don’t understand why your relationship is different.
    • Don’t be swayed by people who don’t understand. Your originality is your own trademark to your healthy relationship.

Related Articles

Sources and Citations

  1. ↑ http://bettyconfidential.com/ar/ld/a/do-a-guys-friends-influence-his-choice-of-girlfriend.html
  2. ↑ http://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships/effective-communication.htm
  3. ↑ https://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/31933.Gavin_de_Becker
  4. ↑ http://changingminds.org/explanations/behaviors/coping/projection.htm
  5. ↑ 5.0 5.1 5.2 http://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships/how-to-find-lasting-love.htm
  6. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/what-would-aristotle-do/201303/how-compatible-are-you-your-significant-other
  7. ↑ http://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships/conflict-resolution-skills.htm

__Steps__

Retrieved from "https://kipkis.com/index.php?title=Make_a_Man_Believe_You%27re_The_One&oldid=331620"