Punish Your Kids for Smoking

Everyone is well aware of the health risks associated to smoking, yet teenagers are still eager to try it. Many teens try smoking due to peer pressure, as a way to rebel against authority, or due to exposure to adults who smoke.[1] If you catch your teen smoking, you may react with anger or rage. But harsh words and yelling may not convince your teen not to smoke again. Instead, you should try to have a conversation about the consequences of smoking and make it harder for your teen to access cigarettes. You should also maintain open communication with your teen so they feel they can talk to you before they decide to try smoking again.

Steps

Discussing the Consequences of Smoking

  1. Talk about the known health issues associated with smoking. Many teens believe they are indestructible and will think very little of the long term health issues associated with smoking. But it may still be useful to start the discussion by mentioning how smoking has been known to cause serious health problems, such as cancer, heart disease and lung disease. Many adult smokers start smoking when they are very young and get addicted to years of poisoning their body through cigarettes. You may want to tell your teen that smoking is the leading cause of preventable deaths in the United States.[2]
    • Often, teenagers are not as concerned with long term health issues and may not view cigarettes as addicting. But it can help to mention the facts behind cigarette smoking to your teen anyway, as it could help her realize the seriousness of developing a smoking habit when she is very young.
  2. Bring up how smoking can negatively affect your teen’s performance in school. Your teen may respond more to consequences that feel more immediate, such as how smoking could negatively affect her performance at school. Smoking may impair her ability to concentrate in class and make it difficult for her to hurry to and from classes. She may also start to miss classes because she cannot go without smoking during school hours, which could put her academic performance in jeopardy.[3]
    • You may also talk about how smoking can negatively affect your teen’s ability to do extracurricular activities, like sports. She may have difficulty breathing while she is trying to compete on track team or do her dance routines. She may also struggle with doing physical activity with friends and family as she may have lung issues due to smoking.
  3. Point out how smoking could negatively affect your teen’s appearance. You can also play on your teen’s concern for her appearance and her body image to try to convince her not to smoke. You may note that smoking causes your teeth to turn yellow and can prematurely age you, leading to wrinkles earlier in life. Smoking can also cause bad breath and make your clothing smell like an ashtray. Your teen may be more receptive to hearing about how smoking can lead to issues with her appearance, as these are likely real and immediate concerns to her.
    • You should also mention that smoking could make it more difficult for your teen to exercise and working out due to breathing and lung issues. This could then negatively affect her body image and her weight.
  4. Use real life examples if there are smokers in your family. Another way to communicate the consequences of smoking to your teen is to use a family member or a friend who smokes as an example. Real life examples can help put smoking into perspective for your teen and force her to focus on the real life consequences of cigarettes.
    • For example, maybe your teen’s uncle has a pack a day habit. You may note how the uncle now has breathing problems and poor health due to smoking. You may also point out that the uncle spends a lot of money every year on his habit and has been struggling to quit for years, even though he is aware his smoking is hurting his body.

Restricting or Limiting Their Access to Cigarettes

  1. Cut off your teen’s allowance if the money is used for cigarettes. Yelling at your teen and informing her that she cannot smoke may not be the most effective solution, as this could only cause her to rebel against you more and continue smoking. Instead, think about ways where you can restrict or limit your teen’s access to cigarettes and make it more difficult for her to get her hands on a pack of smokes. This may mean cutting off your teen’s allowance so she cannot use your money to buy cigarettes. Cutting off her allowance may also make it harder for her to buy other things for herself and she may end up getting frustrated enough that she will agree to not buy cigarettes if that means she can get her allowance back.[1]
    • You may also try to regulate your teen’s spending so you can try to dissuade her from buying cigarettes. For example, if your teen asks you for money to spend on school books, go shopping together for the books and pay attention to how your teen is spending the money. Make sure her money goes towards healthy habits and items that will benefit her, rather than cigarettes.
  2. Do not allow smoking in your home. Though you may not want to dole out harsh punishment for your teen at the risk of encouraging her to smoke more, you can put controls in place at home to discourage her from smoking.[1]
    • You may tell her that under no circumstances is smoking allowed in your home, under your roof. You may also inform her that if you catch her smoking in her room or in the house, you are going to confiscate the smokes and adjust her curfew so she has to come home earlier on the weekends. These rules may upset her, but it is one way that you can exert your authority over the situation.
    • If you smoke, you should be a good role model and practice what you preach. Take your smoking habit outside or make an effort to quit. Your teen will notice if you break your own rules, so try to follow them yourself and lead by example.
  3. Suggest your teen spend less time with friends who smoke. Teens often start smoking due to being around friends who also smoke. You can try to instruct your teen not to hang around friends who smoke, but this may backfire and cause your teen to only hang out with friends you do not approve of even more than she did before. Instead, you may want to suggest that your teen spend time with friends who do not smoke, or try to spend equal time with other groups of friends. This way, you can hint at this possibility and allow your teen some freedom to decide, rather than trying to force her to do what you say.[2]
    • You may encourage your teen to spend time with better friend groups by suggesting that she invite over friends who do not smoke and allow them to spend time in your home. You may host a bbq or a dinner for these friends and make them feel welcome. This could show your teen that you appreciate and support when she brings home friends you approve of, rather than friends who smoke.
    • You can take a stricter tone and forbid any friends who smoke from entering your home. This could be another way of keeping your teen away from these friends. But, this could also just lead to your teen spending time with friends who smoke outside of your home, and in turn, spending more time away from home.
  4. Encourage your teen to focus more on school and extracurricular activities. You can try to deflect your teen’s interest in smoking by encouraging her to pursue other activities that are more healthy for her. Maybe she is motivated to do well in school. You can suggest that she put her energies into getting good grades and doing her college applications, rather than her smoking habit. Try to remind her of what is important in life and how smoking could get in the way of her goals.[2]
    • You can also try to get her to focus more on extracurricular activities she enjoys, such as sports, dance, or acting. Encourage her to sign up for more art classes or to try out for a sports team. This could allow her to adjust her focus from smoking to other activities that are more beneficial for her.

Maintaining an Open and Honest Relationship

  1. Ask your teen why she is smoking. One way to better understand your teen’s smoking is to discuss reasons why she may be doing it. Sit down with her and ask her to reflect on why she may be smoking. Doing this may help both of you realize the motivations behind her smoking and possible get to the root cause. Determining the root cause of her smoking could then allow you to help her work on the issue and prevent her from smoking again.[1]
    • Have your teen write down her reasons for smoking as well as how she started smoking. Use the question, “why do you think you are smoking?” as a writing prompt. Then, have her share her thoughts with you and discuss them together.
  2. Try to quit smoking, if you smoke. Some teens are motivated to smoke because they watch their parents or other authority figures light up on a regular basis. They may then take up smoking out of curiosity or out of a desire to emulate their parents. If you, as a parent, have a smoking habit, you should consider quitting. This will allow you to practice what you preach and act as a role model for your teen.[1]
    • Quitting smoking can be a challenge, but let your teen know that you are willing to take it on so she does not end up smoking like you. You may then ask her to support you by not smoking as well. This way, you can both be there for each other as you both attempt to quit.
  3. Get your teen professional help. If your teen is struggling to quit smoking or if you are worried your teen will develop a full on smoking addiction, you may reach out to professionals for help. It can difficult to stop smoking once you start, especially at a young age. You should try to support and help your teen by getting her professional help so she can learn how to stop smoking.[3]
    • You can contact an addiction counselor through the American Lung Association or your Department of Health. You may also want to talk to your family doctor and get a referral for an addiction therapist who has worked with teens before.

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Sources and Citations

  1. ↑ 1.0 1.1 1.2 1.3 1.4 https://www.empoweringparents.com/blog/teen-and-tween-smoking-tobacco-ecigarettes/
  2. ↑ 2.0 2.1 2.2 http://kidshealth.org/en/parents/smoking.html#
  3. ↑ 3.0 3.1 http://life.familyeducation.com/teen/smoking/41672.html
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