React if Your Boyfriend Hugs You
If you and your boyfriend aren't used to close contact, him hugging or kissing you might be awkward (especially if he's the first you've dated!). Here are a few tips to help you relax.
Contents
Steps
- Remember that he is your boyfriend; you chose each other! Don't be nervous.
- Relax against him. If you pull away, especially if you don't touch often, it could be pretty offensive to him. If he puts his arm around you, lean against him. If he hugs you, hug him back. Again, remember that he is your boyfriend!
- If you have never been with a boy before, or are really nervous about touching, remember that a single hug or kiss does not immediately lead to sex or groping. Simple hugs are his way of saying, "Hey Babe! Good to see you. In fact, good to be dating you." If you pull away, it is your way of saying, "Um, excuse me? Stay away. Far, far away."
- Body language is a big part of relationships. It can often be stronger than words, because people subconsciously look to body language to figure out what you really say. Even if you talk sweetly to him, he may take it badly if you reject even one hug without explanation. Just think about it: if he walked away from your hug without any reason you can tell, wouldn't it hurt your feelings?
- If you don't like hugging, but don't want to hurt your boyfriend's feelings, tell him outright (not in front of other people! Face to face is also better). Say something simple, like, "Hey, sorry if I freaked out on you today... I'm not big on hugs." Guys put a lot on touching, so make sure you find something else to make up for it.
- It may just be that you are a 'shy hugger'. If this is true, say so. Many people, especially from conservative backgrounds, are shy about close contact in public but do not mind in private. Most guys will be more than happy if their girlfriends have no problem with snuggling in private - more time for being alone together!And remember he's your boyfriend the more you hug, the more comfortable you will feel with him!
- Hugging is a very natural way of showing how happy you are to be together through body language, don't be shy about it otherwise he might feel rejected by you if you keep unexpectedly pulling away every time he tries to hug you. Good luck!!
Tips
- Remember that just because you get one hug, it does not mean he is moving to the next step. Holding hands and hugging is the first stage of many relationships. If you freak out because of one or two hugs, he may have second thoughts about dating you. A lot of teenage guys are great, but probably aren't able to handle such a picky girl.
- If you have hugged a few times now (and only if you feel okay with this, some people do this and others don't) then try hugging him with your arms around his neck, boys love it when you put your arms round their necks and will occasionally give you a sneaky peck on the cheek. Believe me, it is much less scary than it sounds and this kind of thing will eventually feel normal to you.
- Boys love physical contact and believe me, it doesn't mean he wants to take things to the next level, just try to relax against him as boys love feeling their girlfriends relaxing in their arms.
- Remember that this relationship is for two people, and if you're uncomfortable with it, then it's okay to stay within your comfort zone. A no is a no, and they shouldn't force you into it.
Warnings
- Do not hug in front of family members or his friends, can sometimes lead to awkwardness between those around you as they will feel like they are intruding on an intimate moment.
- Realize that a totally non-touching relationship is very unrealistic. If you only love him for his mind, it may be best just to be friends.
- If it was him, just be really nice and let him know what he did wrong. "You know how conservative my family is; hands are just so weird right now," or "Oh my gosh, I'm sorry I freaked out... I seriously didn't mean to. Do you want to get together tonight so I can make it up?"
- Keep in mind the steps above: body language is a lot of what we say. One bad hug could hurt your relationship. If things go badly, call him or let him know it was totally you, not him.
