Stop Being a Puppet or Drone

Someone who is made to feel a puppet feels hesitant to look people in the eye nor do they have a good self-image. A puppet or a drone is someone who proceeds in a dull, monotonous manner. Synonyms of drones include drudge, tool, dupe, puppet.[1] After months or years of being a puppet, when you realize you had enough, you might well want to breakfree. Everyone has their own way, then why not you! Here's the answer to your problem. Read on to take actions to explore your emotions and be yourself so you work out your life choices and stop being a drone or a puppet.

Steps

Coming to Terms with the Situation

  1. Make a list of people who suppress you. You might be sabotaged or unknowingly act submissive. You might have a low self-esteem or not know what to think of yourself either because you are not self-aware or others look at you as weak. They can be anyone from your family or friends to your colleagues or even imaginary spectators. Some subject themselves to the judgments of a mere imagination or an imagonative person. Whoever it is, assure yourself mentally that now you want to break free. Decide to have a clear conversation with people who have been taking your decisions.
    • Have a mental conversation to boost your thoughts.
  2. Find out why you feel manipulated. While some people are made puppets to say and do what they want to, there are some who are victims of their own thoughts and fears. Find what makes you vulnerable. It could be a past incident. Think back in the past so you can gather your thoughts and pinpoint at what might have started this in you. It is not necessary that someone forces you to be a puppet. You might do it to not appear weak or be accepted by others. Fear of being judged, laughed at, fear of failing are all few of the possibilities that affects one's self-confidence. If you are not aware of what is the cause of your submission, ask yourself these questions-
    • Do I feel I am insufficient?
    • Does someone force me or have I submitted myself?
    • Why do I do it? Do I feel weak or has something hurt me to lose my self-identity?
      • Make a note of what comes to mind. Keep it with you for some days or weeks. Perhaps you can keep a note on your phone to keep it away from others.
      • Read it again after a while and assess your thoughts. Let it go. Ultimately, the goal of this is to set you free and not to tie you up with what, why, where etc.

Freeing Yourself Mentally

Your emotions have to be freed from your past, set ways to adapt to the new, developing you.

  1. Appreciate your decision. Not everyone realizes that they are being used, and abused and decide to stop it. Applause yourself for noticing and pausing to think over it. Read about victims. Often those feeling vulnerable feel left out and assume a lower role to others. However, that's not the only truth. There are others who suffer social evils owing to various factors. Read about testimonials in Reader's digest, Ted talk and so on. It can open your eyes to how you can move on and experience life free. Motivate yourself with quotes about finding yourself, the impacts of slavery, the perils of losing your stand in life and so on.
  2. Forgive. In order to break the chains of the past, it is necessary to emotionally free yourself from it. The angst, humiliation, and all those negative emotions need an outlet. Only once you free yourself from all that, you will reduce your emotional burden and start feeling ready to explore the new you. Give your feelings and outlet by mentally asking yourself to forgive anyone and everyone for exploiting or tempting you to be a puppet in their hands. You can also write a note about everything that comes to your mind, write that you now want to free yourself from the manipulation and be who you are. You can either keep this note or journal it or tear it off and discard it.
  3. Admit your mistakes. Every decision that you didn't make is also your fault. You acted the way you did for reasons and not everything is someone else's fault. Taking matters of your life in your control is yours to do. Be grateful that you made a start. Forgive yourself because you agreed to being a puppet all this while. You could have said, 'No', and done what you believed in. However, you stayed and got intertwined in this way of being. Forgiving yourself can help you not delve into it unecessarily in the future and free you from turning back and regretting the past.
  4. Take time off work. Relax and take a break from your work. You need time to absorb this life changing turn. Slow down from work to allow yourself to see how it is perfectly normal to quit and start something of your own. Stop worrying about what others will think. Have an answer ready if you worry what someone will say. Always appear calm instead of uncomfortable. When in doubt, smile and walk away or get to whatever you were doing. If you panic, try these techniques to help relax yourself.
    • Meditate to release stress. Take atleast 15mins of your day to breathe in and out, deeply. Inhale through your nose, and exhale from your mouth. You can also look up YouTube for yoga and try some of it to release anxiety.
    • Journal your thoughts. It can be a great resource to release stress, come back to to read and know how you've changed over the months and to let it out in a methodical manner.
    • Turn to soothing music, either songs or instrumentals to help you relax every time you feel lost or scared of the leap.
    • Try therapy. Talk it to a friend or a counselor. They might hear you out and offer guidance or suggestions to help you find your own answers.
    • Take up a hobby like learning a language, a sport you like or spend time watching it on T.V., appreciate art, try learning dance, cooking or get involved in a charity that you would like and learn from. Do something instead of being idle for many weeks as you sit back and allow rejuvenation.

Knowing What You Want

You need not necessarily know what you want to do or where you want to go right after you realize you need to change yoursituation.

  1. Quit. In order to move on, you must quit being a puppet or a drone. Resign if you need to quit. Or stop nodding along when you don't feel right. Have a plan about what you want to do. Picture a life, the way you want to spend your days. Imagine what you'd like to have when you are on your own. See what you'll need like a strong resolve to face your life ahead, money to sustain your life if you are working, new friends of you've been a puppet just so they include you in their group, etc. You don't have to rush into it. Take your time, and slowly take your steps, one day at a time. Remember not to be harsh suddenly because others might not know what you are upto and so react in unexpected ways.
    • You can still be at the same job, college or friends and feel independent. You can stay there and slowly start making your decisions. Instead of doing what they are doing, you can do what you like. Try excusing yourself when others suggest their own options. Say something like, "I'm sorry. I found out this great place where I can shop from. I would like to try that. I hope that's okay."
    • If they insist, you can insist a bit more by apologizing and saying, "I think I'd like to go for that place."
      • Be ready to see their expressions change. They will also talk and wonder what led to this change. Eventually, they'll come to terms because you are only making your own choices and not fighting or asking them to do what you are doing. They are more than welcome to change their plans according to the new you.
  2. Find what you want. It is not necessary that you'll know what you do want to do after deciding to not be a puppet. Give yourself time to understand what is going on. Different people and environment creates different situations. Try not to feel empty or disappointed if you find others doing better than you. You are facing a unique problem despite it being common because your life and decisions are different from others. No two people have the exact same problems. So, their solutions will also differ. Allow your life to settle to a point where you are blank enough to write a new chapter.
    • Being blank or not knowing does not mean ypu are lost or having lost the battle. It is the time when you grow, just like a photograph develops from a roll in a dark room.
  3. Seek opportunities to be independent. More often someone depends on someone or stop being themself because they are not self-aware and self-dependent. Set goals to find your path pave along that goal. You can educate yourself in the right way. Sometimes formal education, a well-paid job, a home is what allow one to go ahead not being a puppet, at others, it is just a decision away. When you know what obstructs your move, create a response accordingly. Do what you must do in order to be self-reliant. It is not wrong nor illegal to set your path in such a way that you get qualified at school and college, find a good job, get an apartment, and move on with your life. If you are young, make up your mind about these as you may need to choose your stream, and make decisions around it. If older, decide about your hurdles based on what stops you and how you can have your say.
  4. Know that decision making is part of not being a puppet. When you make decisions, others don't get to interfere as often as before. You exercise authority in your life. For that you need courage and some reasoning about every decision in your life. Decision making is not just for major areas like your career choice, your pay, choosing your life partner, and so on. It is also your right to go for the movie you'd like to watch, the restaurant you'd like to dine at, the time you'd like to work, eat and sleep or even having the haircut of your choice. Free yourself from emotional, mental and physical restrictions. Expect different ideals and differing results from others. Seek what you prefer to be, do not lean on opinions to reveal who you are, what you can be, and should be. Understand your abilities and aptitudes. Consider what actually interests you in which you can delve into even at rough times.
  5. Take time off to unwind. When you are free from stress or make an effort to unwind, ideas come to mind. Constantly rushing into things or acting how you are expected to might leave you with no freedom to explore or accept ideas. On the contrary, if you consciously spend time doing nothing or a positive activity that makes you happy or calm, thoughts might come to mind. You can wait to see what motivates you. Or you can seek inspiration from your likes or past likes and dreams. Take up what comes to mind seriously, allow them to linger at the back of your mind. Don't mind such thoughts and motivations as they might give you a clue to pursuing your dreams, knowing your likes, making decisions, avoiding what you'd not want to go for and being you.
    • Know that your choices will change and evolve. Don't take it to work out overnight. Being yourself and not being a drone does not imply it is a set of actions and choices. It can change according to the person, and as much as they change.
  6. Avoid guilt. You are not being rude to others when you make your life choices. If someone or if you feel it's wrong to like doing something in your own way, you are not being mean to someone. If you are with someone who sometimes adjusts their plans based on your preferences and you do it too to maintain a healthy relationship, then that is okay. It's not okay if others don't consider your choices, and you don't try to state what you like either. If you start asking for a change in plans just so you feel like an equal to others at home, with classmates, and colleagues you are being you. Avoiding feeling guilty of hurting others just so you can have a say in matters affecting your day and life in general.
  7. Be optimistic. You've taken a decision. Nothing is better than being free especially if you felt congested or enslaved not having your own identity. Find your purpose or goal. Think what you've always looked for in people like honesty, affection, self-respect, talent, happiness, virtues, willingness to learn etc. You can learn what matters to you by brainstorming in this direction. Find out what motivates you and hold it close to you. Wait and allow this thought to stay at the background if nothing strong comes up. Everyone functions in a different way. You will know what you like, don't like, have, and would like to have as months and years go by. Don't get disappointed.
    • Be responsible and do not deny shouldering your own expenses.
    • If you don't feel strongly for making certain choices and instead make natural choices that seem simplistic in nature, you will know that it is out of your own choices and not someone else's.
  8. Take chances. You can try being brave and allow life to offer you challenges which you take up. Avoid feeling trapped and wondering if it too late. Some obstacles are different than others. They all could be dealt with. Start somewhere. If you feel like going for the unknown or new, you can take a leap. Like, trying to learn dancing if you are born with two left feet, studying architecture if you like designing structures but are not sure if you'd do well at it, changing your looks to have a makeover with a simple or a drastic change in your style, going on a fruit diet if you've never done it etc. Try things to get a thrill out of it. Make yourself see how you react to new circumstances. Express emotions like happiness, sadness, excitement, nervousness etc., only this time it will be from making your own choices.
  9. Exploit your survival instincts. Knowing your strengths, weaknesses, fears, what pushes you despite being scary etc., unfolds with time, may be years. Try to take it easy with simple first steps. You can understand the circumstances and anticipate the results based on past events when you reacted in a certain way and what you experienced then. Don't deny life as it shows you various facets of situations and people. Allow all of it to take place. Know that storms startle and settle. Life goes on after that; also while the storm hits. Survival is hardly aptly taught. You often realize you've learned to survive after surviving bad circumstances. Keep being based on your decisions. Know that you are not wrong. Being a puppet while you have your freedom to make choices is a waste. You are right and must go on with your decision even when you feel lost, wonder if you've made the right decision and if others feel jolted by seeing you this way.
    • Willingly face situations like everyone does. No one is aware of what happens tomorrow. Your willingness to be flexible with life situations can help you being you. In adversities, you must be resilient for the sake of your freedom. Believe that you will do well and sail through after making this decision.
    • Don't use someone to fall back on if you are tired or lost. They might resent this in the long run as soon as they realize you've been using them. Be conscious of your needs as years go by and rejuvenate regularly with breaks that you enjoy. No matter how tired you feel, face your problems with gumption and strength will come from your will power.
  10. Do something. Try to be better at things. Avoid demeaning others. Instead have a healthy approach and compete with your last best. Be better than you were yesterday. If you have the means, start a venture of your own that can keep you happy, busy and productive like starting your own YouTube channel, freelancing or starting hobby classes you are a professional at. Learn an additional course online for free if that will open avenues for work for you in the desired field. Help others wherever you can as it can expose you to your own skills. Extend your support to a cause that moves you. Be active and participate. Have a social role that is uplifting. Offering a suggestion or lending an ear to someone could help you empathize and channel your own emotions in a healthy way. Don't be restricted in a way that you fall back to boredom and inactivity. Keep being busy with work that keeps you occupied and happy.
    • Be ready to have something to fall back on so you can afford being on your own. Be willing to be a team player by working, adjusting and harmoniously handling conflicts, and also treasure your individuality.

Tips

  • Like it is said, "Where there is a will, there is a way", if you decide enough is enough, then you can pave your own path and be your own boss or guide.

Warnings

  • Avoid falling prey to advertisements that offer a 'change'. Because changes can't be offered with a single job or a suggestion. It is a process that takes time and efforts.
  • Don't be haphazard in your communications. No matter how quickly you want situations to change, a steady growth is a more stable growth.

Related Articles

References

  1. ↑ Dictionary.com Unabridged, Based on the Random House Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2011.
Retrieved from "https://kipkis.com/index.php?title=Stop_Being_a_Puppet_or_Drone&oldid=272020"