Tell Your Guy Friend You Like Him More Than As a Friend

You're friends with him and then, oops, you fall for him. What do you do? Tell him? It's not rare at all. If a guy thinks you're attractive and he hasn't done anything, make your move first. It makes it so much easier on him. After all, why do guys have to do all the work? Be a little bold.

Steps

  1. Make sure you and he are very close friends. You should be able to joke around with each other, have fun, and at times have serious conversations without judging the other. If this foundation isn't there, it's not worth the effort of making a move on him.

Telling Him Casually

  1. Choose the casual method if you and your guy friend can hold long and deep conversations all in one.
  2. Bring him somewhere alone and away from his friends. If his friends are around, guys typically don't have natural reactions to things of this sort.
  3. Start talking about something to do with love. Not your love for him but just love. You can talk about it in any way that you want.
  4. Lead on to the subject of your crush in a gradual manner. Try not to act shy, even if you feel it inside which you probably will. Act casually, just a simple "I like you more than a friend." Will be okay and maybe you could even act distressed and explain you've wanted to get it out there for a while now. He'll probably take it better that way. The stressed out behavior is best for if you want to go a step further and enter a relationship with him.
  5. Remember not to ask him out immediately. In the moment, you'll want to, but don't! This can lead to failed relationships! You have to give him time, a few weeks or maybe even a month for it to sink in and for him to be more comfortable with the fact you love him. Then you can ask him.
    • On the other hand, if you don't want to date him, but you just want to get it out there, then you can continue normally with him, be happy knowing that he knows the secret you've kept from him.

Telling Him Using Sympathy

  1. Choose the sympathy method if you are afraid he'll freak out and if you are very worried about it.
  2. Make him understand you 'seem a bit off'. You can do this easily by looking worried and talking to him less than normal.
  3. When your guy friend asks what is wrong, cover your face or start crying (if you can). Then you can tell him: "We have to talk".
  4. Tell him things like: "I have a been keeping a secret from you. I just have to let you know, I can't keep this to myself any longer". Make him think it's worse than it actually is.
  5. Tell him. By this point, he could be thinking that you are dying or something, so it is safe to confess your love. He might even laugh or sigh in relief because your crush was probably nothing compared to what he thought!
  6. Give it some time. If you want to be something more, maybe a few weeks later you could ask him out. Make sure not to freak him out; drop subtle hints a few days before, so when you ask him, he's prepared.

Telling Him by Being Obvious

  1. Use the obvious method if you are petrified of his reaction and stress about it often.
  2. Flirt a bit but keep it simple. Most definitely don't go over the top. Gradually (and by gradually, this means over several weeks), lead into more intense flirting.
  3. Take stock. So by this point, you and your guy friend have been flirting on a regular basis. And this does mean weeks. Now drop compliments if you haven't already. Then stare at him (let him catch you) and when he looks, turn away quickly and blush if you can.
  4. Make it as obvious as possible. Then break it to him that you have a crush on him. By this stage, you don't have to wait any more weeks for it to have sunk in. Just wait about a day or two and ask him if he wants to be more than just friends.

Telling Him Using Secret Notes (At School)

  1. Make sure he doesn't like anyone else first. You can find this out by saying I've been single for a while. He might be single, or open to a relationship (but avoid cheating - see warnings below). A conversation might start up about your ex- boyfriend, etc. Be sure to let him know you're single if he doesn't already know. You don't want him thinking you're already taken.
  2. Send him secret little notes telling him that someone he knows likes him. That way, if he's your friend, he'll likely tell you how he feels about the notes. Or, he will keep it to himself, in which case, you'll need to work it out from his behavior. For example, try watching him opening the note and see his reaction to it. Reasonable reactions to the note include looking around before he opens it, then reading it for what seems like a longer time than needed then looking to see if he can find who sent it.
  3. Own up. If he tells you he wants to know who it is, tell him that you are the one who sent the notes.
    • If he told you about the notes and tells you that he thinks whoever is sending him the notes is a freak, he may just be saying it because he doesn't want to admit that he's hopeful that it might be someone he liked. Decide whether you want to tell him. Or be bold and refer to yourself as "that freak" and have it sorted there and then. He may be shocked enough to admit he likes you and will apologize. If not, be a good sport and you will still be good friends and maybe something will happen in the future.
  4. Be generous. Once you tell him that it was you, also tell him that he doesn't have to like you back and that you hope that this will not ruin your friendship.
    • If he doesn't feel the same way, just say that you hope that the moment hadn't ruined the friendship.
    • Don't worry about it if he's not willing to take things deeper. There are so many more guys in this big world. If it doesn't work out that, you can still stay friends.



Tips

  • Don't automatically assume his reaction, this could lead to a more awkward situation than what it was going to be, don't be over-dramatic about it either.
  • If he's really your friend but doesn't feel the same way, he'll reject you but he won't stop talking to you or start telling the whole world. Things like these should be kept private.
  • If he freaks out or stops talking to you, act like it isn't a big deal. Obviously it is on the inside but on the outside take it lightly.
  • If you are ready to tell him that the mystery guy is him, let him know on a Friday. Use this tip so as not to make it awkward the next day. If you tell him your feelings, it is most likely going to be awkward. He may not like you, or he may have liked you the whole time. Either way, it will be awkward for the both of you. If it goes badly, you won't have to see him for the next two days and both of you have space to chill. If it goes well, you have the weekend to discuss your future. When you see each other on Monday, things will most likely already be sorted out.
  • If he stops speaking to you, then don't fret! He could possibly like you and he wants to let it sink in before he talks to you again. Or your guy friend has become shy, which sometimes means he doesn't like you in that way but likes being friends. So you should start the conversations at this point.
  • If he doesn't say anything back to you then, just let him have his space, eventually, he'll speak to you and start to like you back. It will be okay. Don't be disappointed if he doesn't say he likes you back, he's just in shock and needs time to figure things out.
  • If he tells you he likes you before you ask him out, then ask him out the following day or the day after that. The chances of him saying yes are much higher than if he didn't say he liked you.
  • If he decides to not talk to you and acts as if everything is awkward now, move on. He clearly isn't worth your time.
  • Don't let anyone force you into telling him that you like him.
  • If the guy is immature it's probably best not to tell him... even if you really want to!
  • If you lose your friendship due to him feeling it's awkward, realize that he wasn't worth it and just ignore him.
  • If a guy is a total jock in front of his friends, and sweet in front of you, it most likely means he cares for you on a whole new level! Don't be too clingy or obvious but don't be a stranger.

Warnings

  • Never let your relationship with him get in the way of how you treated each other before. Remember, you're still friends.
  • Never do any of this in front of his/your friend(s). They will make him uncomfortable and he'll say no, he may also think they'll make fun of him.
  • Don't tell a friend to tell him! It will be awkward and he might not talk to you.
  • If he has just broken up with someone, don't tell him. Wait a few months to be sure they've moved on and his heart isn't broken. And besides, it'll make you seem desperate if you just dive in there the moment he's single.
  • Don't act immature, because today boys aren't feeling the maturity.
  • Don't do it any other way than face to face. Definitely not text as this may cause your friendship to become awkward.
  • Don't use email or other technologies because if he doesn't like you back he might use them to tease you or show them to other people.
  • Act flirty, but not too flirty, or he'll think you've gone crazy. When you see him, look excited and happy to see him, which you probably already are. If you're walking with him, joke around and touch him but not in a sexual way. Do not walk around the halls of your school poking his little wiener dog. No no, that's not how to do it. If he makes fun of you, jokingly hit him playfully. If he's "in your way", kindly ask him to move and push him gently to the side. If he's reluctant to let you do this, joke around and push him harder. He'll most likely push back and play along with you.
  • Do not do this if your friend already has a serious girlfriend/boyfriend. It could end up ruining your friendship. (Unless he is poly and his girlfriend/boyfriend would welcome such an advance on him.)

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