Be a Good Mother

They say that a mother is only as happy as her least happy child. As a mother, you live, breathe, and sacrifice for the well-being of your children. Seeing them succeed is the best thing in the world, and watching them falter is gut-wrenching. The important thing to remember is that the love you invest in your children absolutely makes a difference, even if you don't see it bear fruit at first.

Steps

  1. Be supportive. Never laugh at your kid's hobbies, interests or friends. Instead, help your child follow their dreams by providing support, encouragement and the opportunity to do so.
    • So, your daughter doesn't want to study medicine and become a doctor? Don't get angry, this is your child's life and they can make some of their own decisions.
    • Understand that it's okay if your child thinks differently than you. Don't get mad because they have a different opinion than yours.
    • Who cares if you daughter listens to hip hop music and wears an excessive amount of eyeliner? She's still your daughter.
    • You might not do what your kids do, but that is their decision, not yours. You have a big impact on their lives already: you choose what school they go to, when they eat dinner, the amount of allowance they get a week. Don't overdo it.
  2. Be patient. Being a mother is a little challenging sometimes. But keep your cool and try to stay patient. Try this approach to other problems. Stay calm, explain the practical reasons not to do something, and then why you don't want them to do something.
  3. Take an interest in your child's interests. If your son likes music, buy him a guitar and watch him play. Ask questions about music, like his favorite kind of music or his favorite song. If your daughter is interested in fashion, take her out for a shopping spree. Ask her what her favorite thing about fashion is.
    • Your child might have some interests that you can't understand, no matter how much you try. That's okay. Just do your best to be supportive in a positive interest.
  4. Don't be tight about money. Okay, so blowing money day after day isn't the best thing to do, but don't automatically say no to everything your kid asks for. If you always say no and follow this with a lecture about saving money, you will be known as the "Tight Parent", the one who never buys anything. Buy something small every now and then. Even offering to purchase some candy or chips at the store can make a difference. Every now and then, buy something big that you are sure your kid wants. For example, an iPod in their favorite color, or maybe a nice computer. And be generous at birthdays - maybe buy them something they have been hinting they want for a while. You can also take them out to a special dinner, see a movie, and choose a nice gift or receive nice gifts from parents.
  5. Make sure you are an approachable person. Try your hardest to always be understanding and a good listener. Knowing that they can go to their mom for friendship advice, homework help, or just a hug goes a long way for kids. Not having someone they can talk to can cause kids to retreat into a shell, so make sure you talk to them about how they feel regularly.
  6. Be able to admit that something you did may have been wrong, and don't be afraid to apologize. It might be hard, but it's better for everyone if you just admit to your mistakes and apologize. It saves everyone the trouble of being mad that you're being stubborn and teaches your kids that it's okay to make mistakes, as well as the importance of an apology. Simply calm yourself, evaluate the situation, determine what you did wrong and why. Then apologize and explain how or why you acted the way you did. A good way to start off may be: "I would like to apologize for how I acted earlier, and I realize that I was wrong," then transition into the rest.
  7. Respect your child's love for the other parent. You should not be jealous of your child loving their father, grandparents, aunt, cousin, uncle, brother, sister or friends.
  8. Love your children more than anything. Without loving them, it means nothing whatever you do in your life. Understand whenever you love your child or not, somehow deep in your child's heart, they will love you forever whenever they are loved, or not.
  9. Make your child feel special. Give them goodnight kisses, hugs and normal kisses, let them sit on your knee and show your love by sharing your memories and dreams and with special endearments (darling, honey, love) and nicknames.

Tips

  • Money doesn't equal love. You don't need to spoil your kids to be a good parent. Instead, spend valuable time with them. It's important for you to bond because they will grow up fast. Love isn't a possession, it's an appreciation.
  • Guide your child through the problem-solving process if they need help with their homework. This way they'll learn how to do it on their own and won't become dependent on you.
  • Love them unconditionally; don't force them to be who you think they should be in order to earn your love.
  • Children, including teenagers, need to know they have at least one person in this world they can turn to who believes in them and in whom they can trust. They need unconditional love and acceptance.
  • Don't be texting, on a computer, etc. when your child is clearly asking for attention. And sometimes it won't be clear so when they're around, ask if there is anything you can do so they feel you don't ignore them.
  • Your child is an individual deserving of respect, not an extension or a reflection of you.
  • Take your child out to museums, the theater, classical music concerts, and other cultural events. While they may not like it at the time, they will most likely be grateful when they are older that they have a more well-rounded background.
  • Spend quality time with your child. Play ball with your son or do a craft project with your daughter. And make sure you have fun.
  • Let them have some freedom. They need to learn how to live and work out problems on their own. This will give them confidence and allow them to become independent, successful adults.
  • Parents need to teach their children how to be successful adults. Don't routinely do things for your children that they can learn to do for themselves.
  • If they break a boundary, make sure there are consequences. Do not let them wheedle out of the consequences, minimize it, or delay it, or else it will not be as effective. Make sure their father will help enforce the boundary.
  • Life is a great teacher. Don't be too quick to rescue your child from the results of their own actions if the consequences are not overly severe.
  • Don't be afraid to teach your kids about safety of all kinds: fire safety, gun safety, how to be safe while home alone, stranger danger, or what to do if someone breaks into the house. Start these lessons at a young age (say 4 or 5). Although that may seem like a young age, kids' minds are like sponges at this time, and more than likely they will understand what you're saying and remember it easier the earlier you start to teach them.
  • Know a bit about the music they like. Know who people are who interest them.
  • Always talk to your kids like an equal. Kids deserve respect, just like everyone else. By showing that you are listening and appreciating their opinions, you are building their self-confidence and teaching them basic social skills. Children learn from the example that their parents set for them.
  • Say I love you to your child every night before bed.
  • Just because your child doesn't always agree with what you do or say, don't get mad at them because they are a kid, instead listen to them. They could be right and by doing this you will also become close with you child. By not you and your child may grow further apart. cause this will make your kid feel like they are useless or maybe even worse. Some kids are bullied at school and are afraid to open their mind to other, you don't want your kid to feel that way at home, too, do you?

Warnings

  • When around your child's friends, remember you're your child's mother, not friend.
  • Loving your child does not mean spoiling them. Don't always give them what they want.

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