Be a Good Stay at Home Parent

Being a Stay-at-Home parent is one of the most exciting challenges you will ever face in your life. Books and entire websites have been written on the topic. Therefore, this article will cover only the basics in assuring that you are at least a little more confident in staying at home with your children. The rewards are worth it.

Steps

  1. Take care of yourself first. While this may seem contradictory, it will be better for you and your children in the long run. Remember that phrase "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy"? Well, this goes for Dads as well. Do this by getting plenty of rest (or as much as you can if your children are still young), eating right and giving yourself a treat once in a while.
  2. Establish a routine for yourself and your children as soon as possible. Consider subscribing to regular e-mails from Flylady to help you out.
  3. Wake-up at least 15 to 30 minutes before your children to snag a little time for yourself and prepare for the day. Take a shower, drink a cup of coffee or review your routine for the day.
  4. Arrange for a little bit of cuddle time in the morning if your children are still young. Five to fifteen minutes or so can make all the difference in how the day begins.
  5. Encourage your children whenever possible. At least once a day. A simple thank you or a "great job" can do wonders for your child and your relationship with them.
  6. Try to say "no" as little as possible. Think of ways you can turn "noes" into "yeses." For example, instead of saying "Not today," try saying "Hmmm...maybe we can do that next week."
  7. Encourage your children to help out around the house. Even if they can't do it "right", remember they are trying to help and appreciate the effort.
  8. Appreciate the differences in each child. You may have a "favorite" but don't let them know that. Treat them as equally as possible in accordance to their divergent ages and personalities.
  9. Start getting them ready for bed at least an hour early. This will give you enough time to end the day with bath-times, cuddles and a smile.
  10. Prepare for the next day by checking your calendar, creating a to-do list, and laying out the clothes you will need (your children's clothes as well if they aren't old enough to do this on their own).
  11. Congratulate yourself, you just made it through a day of parenting. Now, get some rest, you'll need it for tomorrow.

Tips

  • Even if you have had a difficult day with your child, acknowledge this at bedtime by saying something like "We had a bad day huh? Let's try to have a better one tomorrow, ok?"
  • Remember to get plenty of rest, and eat well, this will assure your energy is at your peak when dealing with your children.
  • If you got upset at your children, apologize, they'll both appreciate it and learn from it.
  • Keep a list of emergency numbers handy, preferably two, one on your person and the other by the phone. Trust me, you will eventually need them, and you'll be glad you took the time you wrote down the number of Poison Control or the pediatrician at a critical moment.
  • if you have a young male teen, and are rebellious, don't call them punks, or offend them in any way, though it may not seem like it but they have feelings too, and take serious offense from that.
  • Don't be afraid to ask for advice when you need it, but, as in any situation, choose the advice you take carefully.
  • if your child is rebellious, and a teen, and you do happen to get angry at them, or call them a name, or get mad at their grades...etc..., go ahead and apologize to them, they may get mad if it really offended them, and if it did, there is nothing you can do.
  • if you parent a young teen, let them do what they want, but keep it safe,

Warnings

  • Do NOT compare yourself negatively to any other parent, your own or the neighbor across the street. This is a sure-fire way to knock holes in your self-esteem, and as a stay-at-home parent, you need all the self-esteem you can muster.
  • NEVER EVER BEAT YOUR CHILD
  • Don't sweat the small stuff. And most of it is small stuff. For example, if your child gets an "F" on a test in third grade, it does NOT mean that he/she will drop out of school, become a junkie, etc. nor does it mean that he/she won't be accepted to the college of his/her choice. Colleges don't even look at grade school records. All an "F" means is that your child needs to knuckle down a little more before the next test.
  • if your child is rebellious, and a teen, and you do happen to get angry at them, or call them a name, or get mad at there grades...etc..., go ahead and apologize to them, they may get mad if it really offended them, and

Things You'll Need

  • A list of emergency numbers

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Sources and Citations

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