Be the Most Romantic Boyfriend

Romance in a relationship is easy at the beginning, when emotions run high. After you've settled in a bit, though, it can take a little effort and imagination. Remember: romance is really about showing your affection and appreciation, and you don't need to be rich or even a "romantic" do to that. Cultivate your sweet side by focusing on open communication, physical gestures, and everyday surprises. Keeping the passion between you alive will reward you with a loving relationship, in which you both want to do things for one another.

Steps

Communicating Love

  1. Express admiration for your partner's appearance. While this may seem unimportant or even superficial to some, nearly everyone has insecurities about their appearance. Hearing from our partner that we are attractive to them can give a big boost to confidence - and romance.[1]
    • Mention how nice they look before they leave for work.
    • Look into their eyes and tell them how beautiful they are.
  2. Say "I love you" - after physical intimacy. Studies suggest that a post-sex declaration of love is more meaningful to those looking for a long-term commitment. The logic is that by that point the confession is more likely to be sincere, rather than prompted by ulterior motives.[2]
  3. Make your partner feel special around other people. When you're in the company of friends or family, don't abandon your partner. Instead, make sure you communicate verbally and physically with them. Hold hands, check in with eye contact, and include your partner in conversation. This helps to confirm that your partner is special not only when the two of you are alone, but when you're with other people important to you.
    • If your sweetheart feels shy around your friends and family, make efforts to mention their news or accomplishments. For example, you could drop a line about how your girlfriend has nearly finished her Ph.D., or how she got a raise at work. Do be aware, though, that there may be some topics your partner would prefer not to talk about, so don't overdo it.
  4. Spend time together each day just talking. Experts say at least 30 minutes a day of open communication, without distractions, helps couples maintain a strong connection. Topics can be anything, ranging from talking about your day, to expressing fears, desires, and hopes. You can discuss your relationship and what you love about each other, but don't feel this needs to be the subject every day.
    • Open up to your partner. Talk about the things you're excited or passionate about. This conveys trust on your end, an indication of your love and emotional intimacy.[3]
  5. Listen to your partner as much as you can. Stop what you're doing, put aside your cellphone/book/remote control, and face your partner as they talk. Give your partner 100% of your attention, even if it may seem unimportant: your partner has a need to talk, and your being there to listen helps build trust and love.[1]
  6. Express your feelings in writing. Tell your partner how much you love them and value your relationship. Keep it short and sweet. Your partner will not only appreciate what you're saying, they'll also value the effort you've made in putting your feelings down on paper.
    • If you can't work your way up to a love letter, start with text messages that communicate nothing other than love (no practical information allowed!). Don't be afraid to be a little corny: tried-and-true phrases like "I love you," "You're my love," or "Hi angel," never get old. Or, you can just tell them how excited you are to see them later in the day.[4]

Showing Affection Physically

  1. Be a source of physical comfort when your partner needs it. If your partner is upset, pull them in for a hug rather than a kiss. Hugs communicate unconditional love and support, whereas kisses require reciprocation, which may be unfair to ask in a time of distress.
    • Hugs also work when your partner isn't upset.
  2. Let affection be a lighthearted thing. Romance doesn't have to be so serious: it can also be humorous and playful. What's important is to show love and appreciation.[3]
    • Put your arm around your partner's waist when you walk. (This may be more romantic than the casual "arm around the shoulder.")
    • Hold hands while walking, watching TV or a movie, or sitting on the bus together. Reach for your partner's hand at unexpected moments, too, such as across the table at dinner.
    • Put your arms around your partner's waist when you are standing behind them.
    • Play with your partner's hair. Go easy, though – you don't want to ruin an immaculate coiffure!
    • Plant some kisses in unexpected spots: try fingertips, toes, cheeks, forehead, shoulders, neck, arms, stomach, or chin.
    • Give your love a wink and a smile.
  3. Make time to embrace your partner once a day. No matter how busy life gets, or how stressed the two of you are, taking the time to hold each other once a day helps confirm your connection and reminds you how much you love each other.
    • This could be in the morning or in the evening, or, if there's no other time, try having a cuddle before sleep.

Surprising Your Partner

  1. Delight your partner with flowers (for no reason at all!). This is a classic gesture with good reason: research suggests that flowers naturally lift our spirits, stimulating our mood and even positive memories.[5]
  2. Sneak in some surprise gifts. The next time you're shopping on your own, pick up a few tiny presents. They needn't be expensive; instead, look for small things that remind you of your sweetheart. Then, the next time they're having a difficult day, you can surprise them with one of these. The gesture communicates care and forethought, and is sure to be appreciated and remembered.[1]
    • For example, you could pick up a book or a magazine, a nice bar of soap, a pair of gloves, or a picture frame.
  3. Return to the source of your love. Remembering what first drew you to one another can help you both appreciate your relationship. Plan a "revisitation" of your first date or meeting, and if you can, keep it a secret.
  4. Treat special days with special attention. While everyday surprises are highly important, don't forget about birthdays, Valentine's Day, anniversaries, etc. Take time out on these days to celebrate together. Plan ahead to find the right gift and make any reservations early.
    • These days should be special from start to finish. Breakfast in bed is a perfect way to mark the occasion, and don't forget to acknowledge how nice the day was before going to sleep.
  5. Lend a helping hand with chores. As unromantic as it sounds, doing the chores your partner usually does (without being asked to, of course) can make them feel very loved and cared for. So, roll up your sleeves and wash the dishes, clean the bathroom, vacuum the rugs – however much drudgery you can handle, you're bound to be rewarded with a kiss!.

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Sources and Citations

  1. ↑ 1.0 1.1 1.2 http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/emotional-fitness/201010/10-ways-make-your-relationship-magically-romantic
  2. ↑ http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201110/romance-the-love-code
  3. ↑ 3.0 3.1 http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/02/14/15-ideas-for-keeping-romance-alive-year-round/
  4. ↑ http://www.lovepanky.com/love-couch/romantic-love/really-romantic-ideas-to-make-your-lover-melt
  5. ↑ http://minnesota.cbslocal.com/2014/05/07/good-question-why-do-we-like-getting-flowers/
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