Get Over a Crush on Your Best Friend

Even though your best friend may like you a lot, you're not their number one. If you see them often, then getting over a crush may seem like an impossible thing to do. This page will help you to overcome the love you feel for your best friend.

Steps

Move Forward

  1. Don't dwell on it. Don't spend too much time thinking by yourself or about yourself. You will most likely be thinking about him/her and start feeling depressed. Get your mind off it. Hang out with friends, try making new recipes or experiment with art. Develop your talents and make goals for yourself.
  2. Exercise. Go to the gym and workout. Get your mind off of it and feel better about yourself. Exercise also releases endorphins that make you feel happier.
  3. Spend time with your other friends. You know you will see this person again. They are your best friend and you don't want to lose them. Try to limit your time with them and start spending time with other people (namely friends you aren't really attracted to). Start dating and don't feel obligated to your best friend; they're not dating you.
  4. Find comic relief. Try to see the comedy side of things. Read humorous books, rent a comedy, or watch hilarious videos on YouTube.
  5. Make yourself feel beautiful. Treat yourself to a haircut or a new outfit. Make yourself feel confident. However, employ this newfound confidence in pursuing other potential relationships, rather than hoping your friend will suddenly perceive you differently.
  6. Convince yourself that someone else will come along. Remember that they are not the only fish in the sea.
  7. Don't let it bring you down. There are plenty other people in the world who find you attractive and would love to have a relationship with you! If things are supposed to work out they will.

Assess the Relationship

  1. Accept that you will just be friends. Not everything can be fixed. Your best friend will act as normal around you even though you have a crush. This will be a struggle initially, but accepting this is critical if you want to keep the friendship.
  2. Realize that moving to a relationship is not a natural progression. Although you are his/her valued and trusted friend, he/she may not be attracted to you romantically or physically. Try not to make him/her feel guilty for not sharing your feelings.
  3. Try falling out of love. Make a list of all their traits that would make being in a relationship difficult. Do they talk constantly while you're more quiet? Do they need more space than you do? Love is blind, so try to voluntarily open your eyes.
  4. Put the friendship first. Think about how devastated you would be if the two of you started dating or getting serious and then broke up. You would likely lose the relationship and your best friend. Keep in mind how important your friendship is to both of you.
  5. Learn from the experience. Do you feel like you did everything you could to turn this crush into a romance? Would you have done something differently? Learn from your success and mistakes with this crush and apply it to your next one.

Maintaining a Relationship With Your Best Friend

  1. Don't get angry at them. They likely don't understand how deeply you feel for them. They didn't do anything wrong and getting angry is just going to push them further away and destroy your friendship.
  2. Do not avoid the person. This will create unnecessary rifts in any friendly relationship that may exist.
  3. Keep your distance initially. You shouldn't avoid them, but try to limit your time with them for a while so that you can rid yourself of your feelings for them. If you don't, the time you spend around them will be tense and bittersweet.
  4. Ask for some time alone. Tell them to stop calling/texting, emailing or visiting your house until you let them know it's okay. They should understand that you have to get past the hurt before going back to just being friends. If your relationship was strong before, you should be able to get it back to where it was eventually.
  5. Avoid your usual hangouts. Switch seats at work, take a different corridor to class, or avoid the bar you both frequent. This way, you likely won't have to see them unnecessarily while trying to overcome your feelings.



Tips

  • Do not assume things and think that she/he may have feelings for you it will only hurt you in the end.
  • Boyfriends and girlfriends come and go, but a true friend is there to the end. If you start dating them, there is a chance you will break up (studies show the chances of relationships ending in a break up are high, but even higher the younger you are) and that could ruin your friendship for good. If they are your friend (and you stay friends), you would have them for a long, long time. Validate your own feelings and how it could affect your own personal wellness.
  • It's not the end of the world. It may seem there is nobody else as good as him/her, but you will find someone else. Don't feel like you can't be friends though, you can agree to still be continue your friendship.
  • In some cases, it might be better if you don't tell him/her. The moment you confess it, it becomes a real fact that you love him/her, and it would be much more difficult to get over it.
  • Only tell those who you can really trust, if you must. If you tell someone who likes to gossip it will get back to your crush and possibly make them feel uncomfortable.
  • People handle this situation differently. Some feel they must talk it out; others find it better to say nothing. As a person gets older and more mature, they may find that putting feelings into words damages the relationship. Sometimes it is better to be grateful for what you have rather than to cause a showdown and lose friendship completely. Friendships change over time and if you are patient, you might get what you want years from now.
  • If you are upset after finding out they don't like you, talk to someone you trust like a friend or counselor. Tell them how you're hurt and ask for advice. Holding things in makes you depressed and that can make everything much worse.
  • If you don't have anyone to talk to, try writing about it in a journal. This can serve as a powerful distraction, and it can help you to see things in a new light. During this process, you may find out some things about him/her that you have previously missed, and those things can help you get over them.
  • Wait until the right time to tell him/her that you have a crush. If u don't want him/her to know don't tell anyone and don't act in an awkward manner as by your behaviour itself they may come to know.
  • Remember that if they liked you, but changed their minds at the last minute, you shouldn't get angry or blame things on them. Your friendship should be strong enough to not let something like that keep a good thing down.
  • If they like someone else, it can be really painful. But in that situation, just try to avoid talking to them about him or her. It will only hurt you more.
  • Tell him/her as soon as possible that you have feelings for them. Waiting only makes it worse. It's not fair to you to have to keep it in and you can't get over them until you know they don't feel the same way. It'll get worse before it gets better, but it will get better.
  • Tell them the truth, but make sure you add in that you don't want anything to get awkward or to not be friends. Tell him you still want to be friends. If he says no, tell him you want everything to stay the same. Holding it in makes it worse, and you convince yourself you aren't pretty enough and everything else. Just be honest and you will be set free.
  • If they don't say Hi to you when you say Hi to them like they usually do, then just ask them, "are you mad at me? Did I do or say something to you that bothered you?" If they said no, then you didn't do anything; then your in the clear. But if they said yes then ask them what did I do?

When they tell you solve it as soon as possible. Tell them well I didn't know you felt that way I'm sorry. Can you forgive me? Stuff like that and they should forgive you. My friend forgave me.

Warnings

  • Make sure you are over them when you're with them and away from them. Sometimes you'll find that you have gotten over them when you're not around them, but the second they come up to you, you fall for them again.
  • Don't try to change yourself to become what you think is attractive to the other person. They will only see you as fake and insecure and a person who is not fun to be with, even as friends!
  • Don't attempt to make them jealous. If they only see you as a friend, kissing another guy/girl in front of them won't really affect them, and you'll just end up feeling regretful and disappointed with yourself later.
  • If you do tell them, don't automatically assume how they're going to react. This sometimes makes you seem extremely foolish. If you're good enough friends, this might not affect your relationship as much as you think.
  • If you push too hard or show your emotion a lot, you will fight over little things. Make sure to give them space if you're still not over them.
  • Don't tell them you love them if you know for sure that they only want to be friends. This could damage the friendship.
  • Don't over indulge on treats or food. You will feel even more depressed in the morning.

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