Make a Best Friend

Best friends - They're always there for you, always looking out for you. There are many reasons people make best friends. Whether it's "just because", or filling that empty void, making a best friend can be easier than you might think! Just keep reading!

Steps

Start Making Friends

  1. If you don't have many friends, then make small talk and Small talk is the first part of developing friendship (or the second, if you have them as a classmate, for example). Small talk subjects often include the weather or what you do for a living, but another strategy is to talk about something around you. You might try a simple introduction by way of icebreaker ("Hi. I'm Julie."),
    • Ask them about their hobbies to see if you can do something together within one another shared interests. Get to really know this person. Find their likes and dislikes, favorite activities, their favorite colors, etc. There is so much you can find out!
    • Friends are everywhere, so don't be shy and stay inside your house! Go to the park, or even join a club or a after school activity! Make friends everywhere!
  2. Listen. Don't be the one that asks questions all the time and vice versa. If you're asking them too many questions, (or too personal) some people might be overwhelmed. If you don't question them anything, some people might feel awkward, having to lead the conversation alone. If they don't seem to be interested, think to yourself to find another best friend- there are a lot of people just like you out there!
  3. Look beyond the "popular kid" in the class/school. That is a given, and looks like you're trying too hard. Instead, hang out with a new girl or someone you've seen around, but don't know yet. Try a shy person holding back - they may appreciate someone else making the effort for a change!

Going from Friends to Best Friends

  1. Start hanging out with this friend. But don't get too excited by talking too much or she will think you are a bit weird. If you are at school you can ask to hang out at break. If you're a teenager just kind of take her by the hand or something and just start a conversation.
  2. Nurture the new friendship.
    • Get their phone number and call them once in a while, maybe once or twice a week. Like plants don't water them too often. Don't call on the same day every week; try to pick a random day or keep it unpredictable.
    • Give them gifts, if their birthday or a holiday is coming. It doesn't have to be something big or expensive. Homemade gifts is a good option. But don't make it look like you spent hours on it.
    • Write a handwritten letter. Sure, It's easier to write emails or write on their facebook wall. But, there is a certain charm to the handwritten letter or a card. Just how you took some time to find a suitable paper, write on it, and mail it instead of the online alternative, shows how much thought went into it. They may keep it for years to come!
    • Ask if one day they can come over to your house, or do something fun together. Make sure you've known this person for a while first, though. If you know someone for a day or two, then ask them kindly and convincingly to come to your house, they may find this a bit strange.
    • Some friendships come easily and nurturing them is not hard to do. Others, however, require more thought and action. That's okay. Putting effort into a friendship doesn't mean the friend is not right for you, it simply means that your friendship is different and you need to work to keep it strong.
  3. Make sure it goes both ways. Friendship is two-sided. Follow your friend's cues for whether they're also interested in a close friendship with you. If you pursue a one-sided friendship, you'll likely be disappointed with the end result, and may seem needy or desperate to the other person.
  4. Get to know their friends. Becoming close with someone often involves mixing social circles, so your friendship will grow from your involvement in their lives. If it doesn't work out with your original friend, you will still be better off than before; with even more friends to try with.

Building Your Friendship

  1. Tell them that they are a great friend once you've really gotten to know them. Think of how touched your friend will be to get a note passed in class that simply says, "Hey, I haven't told you in a while but I really do appreciate our friendship."
  2. Tell the person a secret. Make sure it's one that you wouldn't mind too much if they revealed, since sharing secrets builds trust. If the person tells the secret, you will not have lost much (because you did not mind this secret getting out), but you will have learned that they cannot be trusted as your best friend. If the person keeps the secret, you can tell another slightly larger secret. Soon, your friend may build a track record of trust by keeping all of your secrets, and you will know that this is a person you can share your deepest thoughts with.
  3. Always be truthful when the subject matter involves your friend. Best friendships require honesty, even more than regular ones do.
    • Secrets which you hold back about your friend may come out at a bad time and can have a serious negative effect on your friend.
  4. Avoid feelings of jealous and suspicion. In a good friendship, your friend will be as honest with you as you are with them, so don't make bold assumptions about the way they might think about you. Most of the time, if you're thinking it's something bad, then you're wrong! If this person is a true friend he or she will love you and be honest with you.

Tips

  • Make sure you are always there for them, in good times and bad times. Help them when they need help and just be a good friend!
  • Don't laugh or ridicule about something that will make them feel insecure. They won't like you for that!
  • Develop a good sense of humor. A lot of people like people with good humor, they're very fun to hang out with.
  • When they get embarrassed, don't laugh at them. Just say something comforting instead.
  • Make sure you don't overpower them. Give them room to breath!
  • Even though it is possible to have a best friend, make sure they don't realize you're trying to make that happen. Don't ask them straight up as you will seem desperate. Keep a close eye on them, but without risking appearing spooky!
  • Try to laugh at their jokes (even if it's not funny). That would make them feel comfortable!
  • If you're becoming a third wheel, don't be afraid to talk about it to your friend.
  • Be a little daring, if your friend is challenging you to do something (not life threatening) then try it, for instance if they say you can't climb to the top of the playground's roof show them you can.
  • Ask them if they want to meet up or have a sleepover on a weekly basis. Doing something you both find fun together can create a positive attitude toward each other!
  • If you are involved in there social class don't try to make yourself noticed in an annoying way that makes you seem like a psycho crazy person seeking attention. True friends like you for who you are. Not how popular you are.
  • Make an effort to hang out. Don't be disappointed if they don't do the same. Keep trying but don't seem desperate. It's all about being a good friend.
  • Don't stalk the friend because you want to hang out. It's easy to do that but stay on top of it! Just go with the flow. It works.
  • If he or she doesn't go to your school, then try to get his or her number and call/FaceTime them or text them to get to know them.
  • Be there for them so they feel like a third wheel always include them so they don't feel left out.
  • If you want to make a best friend be kind, loyal, trustworthy, helpful, honest, and just be yourself.
  • As best friends, you should participate in each other's social lives. So if your new best friend meets with his other friends, don't hesitate to accompany them if you're invited. And if you two run into these friends on the street, casually bring yourself into the conversation. Making one of them a compliment is a good way to sympathize and show interest.
  • Keep secrets

Don't tell to other If any one tell u a secret And you don't tell anyone that person will trust you more and tell you more secrets in this way you're friendship can take place.

  • Make your friends happy. Give them confident. Be good to them.
  • • If you go to their house, be sure to be helpful and polite to their mom/dad. But don't be too helpful, thus making your friend look bad.
  • Always make sure you have other friends too, so if the relationship turns sour you will always have other people, and because if it works out you still need other friends to hang out with as well.
  • When talking, say their name often (but not too often) because people like the sound of their own name, making the conversation better.
  • You can't be a good friend to someone if you talk behind their back.
  • Don't always be the one telling stories. Give them a chance to say something too.
  • Don't stare them too much or otherwise they would have thought you are trying to flirt with them.

Warnings

  • It takes time. Don't force the relationship, you'll only hurt yourself and your friend.
  • Make sure that this person isn't mean to other people, or two-faced. This can happen quite easily. Some people might be sweet to your face, then gossip behind your back. This doesn't mean accuse someone of being two-faced when they're really sweet, but you should just make sure this doesn't happen. A mean person doesn't make for a good friend.
  • Some people don't like you calling them very often; this is a major annoyance to certain kinds of people. Also, generally people sleep from 9 pm onwards.
  • Try not to visit your best friend every day, he/she may find it annoying and may think you're getting in the way.
  • If she/he is bisexual or homosexual, don't judge them just on that; they are still your best friend, no matter if they're straight, homosexual, or bi.
  • Don't copy whatever they do! It's really frustrating to have somebody copy your every single move.
  • Don't become a stalker, or be annoying. This is a major turn-off.

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