Get Your Parents to Stop Saying No to You
Sometimes, it feels like all your parents do is say no. No pets, no parties, no allowance, no anything. Would you like to hear a yes? Read on!
Contents
Steps
- Figure out why they say no to you. Is it because you are constantly asking for something? Are your requests unreasonable, or is it something every parent would say no to? Will it put pressure on your parents? They might say no for a reason that they do not want to explain to you. If you think that's the case, stop asking them why or they will just say no for sure.
- Decide what it is that you really want from them. Are you constantly asking for money? Do you want to go on a trip with some friends? Don't ask for a CD just because you happened to see it or a doll just because you think you want it. If you do see something you want and you don't have the money, wait a few days and see if you still want it. Your parents will be more willing to say yes if they know that you have thought about it. (You may want to wait until your birthday, Christmas or Hanukkah, depending on what you celebrate in December every year)
- Ask them frequently when they are in a good mood, and don't start out by saying, "I know you don't want to," or "I know you're going to say no but..." because they will tell you that you already know the answer to your request.
- Make sure you have behaved. Before you ask make sure to ask yourself "what have you done to deserve it", if you have a good response then you will have a better chance of being told yes.
- Don't pester. If your parents say, "I'll think about it" or "wait until tomorrow", then wait until they have had time to think about it and kindly ask what their thoughts are when they aren't busy doing something.
- Show them that you are responsible and willing to give a little. If you want a car, make a list of all the responsibilities that you will be able to take on if you get a car. If you would like to go to a party, tell them who's going to be at the party, give them other parents' numbers so they can check facts for themselves, and offer to set a curfew you will all be comfortable with. Also if the curfew is going to be un-agreeable simply suggest that you could sleep at a friends house after the party.
- Keep any promises you make. For example, if you say that you will pay them back that $10, do it. If you told them you'd do the dishes in return for being allowed to stay out later, do the dishes before you leave or the second you get home. If they know that your true to your word, they'll be more willing to say yes the next time.
- Think through what you are going to say before you speak. Think about the answers or questions you might get, you must also be prepared for a no! Just don't get upset when you hear that holding your ground while trying to compromise is a thousand times better than throwing a tantrum, while that might have once worked it probably won't anymore.
Tips
- When you get it, say thank you!
- When they first say no, don't make a whiny voice when you say, "Please!". Everybody hates that. Instead, give them more reasons why they should do what you want. This is hard, but when they say no, listen. If you get caught the punishment will be worse than listening to them.
- If you ask them and they say, "Maybe..." don't keep going on about it saying, "Can I have it next week then or do you need more time to think?" because they will probably say no in the end. Instead, just have patience and wait until they say yes.
- Don't beg or constantly natter. That will definitely make it a no.
- Tell them this is something you really care about so they know it's something they should think about.
- Do something nice for them, but don't say, "I did the dishes so can I..." This might not work, because they know that the only reason you're doing something nice is because you want something.
- Even if your parents say no, don't make them feel bad. Remember that parents don't always show how upset they feel. Don't hold a grudge because they say no. This will send them into deeper thought about reconsidering.
- Make them a deal, e.g., if you can keep your room clean for 1 month then you get a guinea pig.
- If they say, "We'll see" or something, and they don't give you it, wait until your birthday or Christmas/Eid, as you get most of your "presents" then.
- Bring your grade up. It will show them that you really care about your grade and school, and then they may say yes, because they know you are doing good in school.
- Remember, most kids in the world take for granted how hard their parents work, and their parents really do love them.
- Wait until you are older if your parents say no. This is because your parents may not deem you old enough or trustworthy enough to get what you want, especially if it's something virtual like a YouTube account or Facebook account if you don't already have one.
- Don't be upset, sometimes they just say no.
- Show that your thing is not childish so they know it is not just some video game or your iPod.
- Help out around the house!
- Ask them when they're in a good mood.
- Give polite examples how you do it throughout your normal life: "This week and on every weekday, I went to school and did my homework as best as I could. Yesterday, I stayed home to do the dishes. Today, can I... "
Warnings
- Don't keep begging, that's one of the worst things to do!
- Don't argue after they say no, that could lead to some problems after you ask.
- Do not be rude, scream, yell or lose your temper.
- Don't have a temper tantrum if they say no; it just makes them want to say no even more because of your immature actions.
- Don't say "But all my friends are allowed" or they will end up saying "If your friends jumped off a bridge...", or something to that effect, and it will end in "no".
- Always try to help your parents out.
- Don't do anything stupid like getting back at your parents by being rude to them. It won't change anything, but make it even worse. Just accept it and move on. In a couple of weeks or so, you'll forget all about it and want something new!
- Don't bug them about it they will get around it.
- There are some things your parents may say no to no matter what. If this is one of those cases, accept it and move on.
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