Get a Girl Way out of Your League

Although there’s no magic spell to make anyone fall in love with you, there are definitely thing you can do to tip the scales in your favor. If you feel like you’re falling for a woman who’s out of your league, read on for advice and instructions.

Steps

  1. Find out whether she has a boyfriend/girlfriend or not. A woman who’s this great may already be taken, so do your stuff before you get her.
  2. Realize that the more attractive a woman is, the more phonies she draws. Most women are sick of guys who try to become whatever they think women want -- especially when they don’t give women much credit. On the flip side, an admirer who is genuine is instantly intriguing, which is good news for you! it is a great way to get things started, This is how beauty and the beast got together in the first place. If you’re not naturally confident and at-ease, at least have the guts to be yourself; a nervous but authentic individual has a lot more to offer than a preening peacock with no substance.
  3. Keep in mind that many attractive women don’t feel respected. It may seem like winning the lottery to be a beautiful woman in today’s society, but not being taken seriously also comes with the territory in a big way. Guys are so used to seeing beautiful women sprawled across billboards and magazine covers that when they notice one in real life, they often don’t bother to find out if she’s smart, funny, kind, or interesting; in fact, many don’t think twice about staring, making ridiculous remarks, or even copping a feel. This can make attractive women suspicious of just about any guy.
    • Make sure you are interested in who this woman really is (her hopes, dreams, fears, ambitions, quirks, oddities, favorite things, etc.). If you're not interested in that, you're not after her for the right reasons.
  4. Be yourself. This really is the most important step. Most attractive women have seen enough admirers come and go to know whether or not you're not being yourself -- and if she knows you're acting differently for her, she’ll lose respect for you. Besides, people who act like themselves (even the goofy ones) are sexy.
    • If a woman doesn't like who you are once she gets to know you, she isn't worth your time. Furthermore, if you have to change who you are to attract or keep a woman, you are cheating both yourself and her.
  5. Take care of yourself. No well-adjusted woman wants to be with someone who can’t function on their own; first of all, she won’t want to be your replacement mother, and second, she’s seen no evidence to indicate that you’ll ever be able to take care of her needs. Clean up after yourself, stay in shape, do your laundry, clip your toenails, and learn to cook a meal or two. As mundane as it may sound, these things can work MAGIC for a relationship.
  6. Don't hesitate to approach an attractive woman. Beautiful women attract arrogant suitors like flies, which tends to scare away all the nice ones. Work up the nerve to approach her and she might just find you a breath of fresh air. There are, however, certain things to keep in mind:
    • Don’t approach a woman who Read Rejection in Body Language.
    • Avoid approaching a woman in a bar, or club. These women aren't looking to be wooed by a fast car, cheap haircut, and lame lines; they usually have their guard up and don't want to be bothered. Instead, try to place yourself in a situation where you’re comfortable. Give yourself any social edges possible.
    • Don’t try too hard. This is the biggest game-killer ever. Pages can be written on this but, as a rule of thumb, if you're frustrated, you're probably trying too hard; if she's frustrated, you're definitely trying too hard.
    • Don’t rule out friends as possible romantic interests.
  7. Don’t be a jerk. A lot of guys treat women like jerks -- and, frankly, sometimes it works. However, a woman who doesn’t demand respect from others probably doesn’t have any for herself. If you try it, it might work for you, but it’ll have the unfortunate side effect of a) making you a jerk and b) landing you with a woman who has no self-esteem. If you want someone happy and well-adjusted, behave accordingly.
  8. Don't try cheap tricks or cheesy lines. (Hint: if it's a line, it’s cheap.) Sparks only fly in the spur of the moment, so start with a comment, joke, or witty interaction based on the situation. If all else fails, a simple “Hello” will suffice.
  9. Don't lie. If you have to lie to get something, it's not for you and never was. Women are no exception to the human race, as they appreciate honesty above all. Remember, every lie you tell is a lie you’ll have to remember if it ends up working out.
    • Don’t confuse honesty with tactlessness; there’s no need to be brutal.
  10. Watch your body language. Keep a good posture, relaxed but not slouching. Look her in the eye but don’t stare. (Definitely don’t let other women catch your eye when you talk to her.) Avoid fidgeting, shuffling, and shifting your weight. The goal is to look casual and comfortable in your own skin.
  11. Treat a woman the way you would like to be treated. Be polite, considerate, and genuine. It seems like common sense, and it really is, but a lot of people forget that. And really, treating anyone like an equal is a solid strategy for forming a connection; at worst, it may turn out that she’d rather be fawned over, in which case you’ve just saved yourself a lot of trouble.
  12. Show interest in her personality. Try to get to know her by asking about her interests and seeing if you have any common ground. Listen actively instead of just hearing passively; if you make a mental note of things she says, she’ll be delighted to find out that you remember them later.
    • Do talk about yourself, but be polite; don’t try so hard to sell yourself that she can’t get a word in edgewise. As a general rule, a woman will ask about you if she’s interested.
  13. Avoid the “nice guy effect.” It’s one thing to treat a woman well but another thing entirely to accommodate her every need. Be kind, friendly, and supportive, but never let that stop you from doing your own thing. Go out with your friends, have fun when she’s not around, and continue to be an autonomous individual; knowing that you have an interesting life of your own will just make her want to be part of it.
    • If you find yourself idolizing a woman so much that you’re always, always there for her, you’ll also soon find that you’ve become her friend. If you panic, you may even try to be extra nice to impress her. Don’t do it.
  14. Turn your chitchat into conversation. Conversation is at the heart of getting to know someone, as it can hold their attention, get them to laugh, and make them interested in you. Only through conversation can take it to the next level (ex. phone number, going on a date, etc.), and every good conversation the two of you have will probably translate into another date. Once you string enough dates together, you’ve got a relationship.
    • There are some things to avoid during early conversations. For instance, stay away from serious subjects like war, politics, religion, abortion, etc. If one of these does happen to come up, keep it light and change the subject matter. Also, don’t compliment her excessively, as this comes across as desperate/needy.
  15. Get past conversation and get into communication. Conversation is a great way to get to know each other superficially, but to really understand each other, you will have to learn to communicate. This means not only discovering each other’s hopes, fears, dreams, and desires, but also becoming more comfortable in your own honesty.
    • Listen to her. She has more to say than just words; she is conveying ideas, thoughts and emotions. When you ignore someone who is really trying to communicate and tell you something, you are insulting them on a deeply personal level. Keep in mind that some things can’t be conveyed through texts or during a commercial break, so if you set some time aside to really talk, it will work wonders for your relationship.
    • Tell her your feelings. True story: communication isn't just for women; they also want to know what you think and feel. Letting her in shows that you respect and trust her. Remember, it takes skill to communicate effectively and you can’t always count on her to read between the lines.
    • Lots of guys try to avoid communication or fake it. If you’re serious about this (or any other) relationship, take the time to learn. All the hope, love, or chemistry in the world can’t keep two people satisfied if they don’t know how to communicate with each other.

Tips

  • Don’t act differently in front of your friends; everyone responds well to someone who is consistently themselves.
  • Don't suffocate her. Don't be clingy either; that's part one of the "friend zone".
  • Don't take it too fast or she might just lose interest. Wait until she is comfortable then go on.
  • Let her be herself, too; don’t try to mold her into your own fantasy.
  • Know when to stop pursuing her.
  • Go slow if you don't know each other.
  • Don't dwell on rejection.
  • Respect her and treat her the way you would want to be treated.
  • Don't be a jerk to ANYONE she is friends with.
  • Don't stop flirting with other prospects on account of her until you're committed. Keep options open at ALL times.
  • Always keep your cool. Girls will never date a guy who is fussy and gets worked up about nothing. See the bright side and don't let anyone embarrass you!

Warnings

  • If you and a girl glance at each other you have 3 seconds to walk up to her and start a conversation, otherwise you just look like a creep.
  • If she’s a friend and doesn’t reciprocate your interest, back off immediately. Play it cool, go back to being friends, and start looking for someone else. Don’t let your awkwardness ruin a perfectly good relationship.
  • Accept the fact that some women just won't click with you. It doesn’t necessarily mean they’re stuck-up or out of your league; sometimes, the feeling just isn’t mutual. Get over it.

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