Get a Guy to Call You Back

Waiting for a crush to call can be painful. Almost everyone has waited for a phone call from a crush or love interest, but that doesn't mean you have to wait. While it is perfectly okay to make the first step and call him, it is also okay to express your interest in other ways.

Steps

Contacting Him

  1. Text him. Oftentimes, it seems like a lot less pressure to text someone instead of calling him. You can text him simply "Hi, how are you?" or you could send some flirty emoji that show your interest. If you go to school together or work together, you could ask him an innocuous question about work and transition from there. Don't be afraid to get the ball rolling via a different medium, if you feel too nervous to call him. He might call you back, and you can text him something like “It would be great to hear your voice” to get him to do just that.[1]
  2. Use social media to contact him. Sometimes even texting can seem too formal or to daring, but almost everyone now connects using some sort of social media.You might follow or be Facebook friends with tons of people you might not even know in person. So, it makes it feel a little more casual as a medium than calling or texting. Facebook even has a call option now, so you can call him via that medium, or suggest that you want him to call you by saying “Would you like to talk on the phone?”[2]
  3. Email him. Depending on your age and situation, an email might be useful. Though young people rarely use this as a means to flirt anymore, it can be a way to have a more thought-out response than social media sometimes lends itself to. However, it can also be quick way to express interest in a work colleague or classmate. You can even work in some suggestions to get him to call you in the email. Here are some tips on writing a flirty email:[3]
    • Short but flirty messages can get the message across fairly quickly.
    • Keep it playful. You don't want to say that you're in love with the person in the first email, especially if they know nothing of your interest.
  4. Write him an old-fashioned note. While this might seem a little cheesy, for the right person it will seem sweet. If you know your love interest well enough, writing a note will seem more personal and romantic than a text or email. Keep the note short, but let him know how you feel.[4]
  5. Be proactive and call him. While many feel like they need to wait for a crush's call, if you're really interested, just call them. If you have not yet expressed your interest, this can be a way to do so. If he doesn’t answer, leave a message. Keep it simple and short, but positive. You could say, “Hey, I’d love to talk. Give me a call back,” and then leave your number.[5][6]
    • Wait an appropriate amount of time after calling him to call him again. While you might be impatient to talk with your crush, it is important not to crowd them with your calls. Try waiting at least a day before you try to call again.[7]
    • Call him at an appropriate hour. Don't call him really late at night or really early in the morning. If you know he works 9 to 5 or that he has class from 7 to 8 pm, don't call him then. Also, make sure you have the privacy and time to talk should he answer.[8]

Talking to Him in Person

  1. Flirt. Make sure you make eye contact with your crush and smile. Be careful to read his reactions though, because unwelcome flirting never ends well.[9] If you notice him looking away a lot, looking at his phone repeatedly, or slowly backing away, he is likely not interested. Remember, no one's obligated to like you back, and sometimes no amount of flirting, etc., will make that happen.[10]
  2. Give him your number. This is an old technique that often works if he is interested. You can even add a heart or a smiley face, if you’re writing it on paper. You might even write “Call me” with a winky face. This will be a bit more flirtatious and should encourage him to call you.[11]
  3. Tell him about your interest. This often the simplest way to get a someone to call you back. Oftentimes they might not realize your level of interest, thinking you just want to be friends. So, telling him might prod him into calling you.[12]
  4. Ask him to call you. This is the most direct in-person approach. If you specify a time by saying "Call me tonight" or "Call me tomorrow," he will be more likely to assume you're interested, as "Call me" can be taken in a lot of different ways, sometimes meaning no interest at all. It will also give you a timeframe to expect a call, so you won't be waiting around for some indefinite amount of time.[5][8]

Being patient

  1. Don't force it. When you have a crush, it can feel world-ending if it's not reciprocated. If you feel like you can't tell if he likes you, he probably doesn't. If he says he'll call, and then doesn't for a long time, there is a good chance he's not interested. If he really likes you back, things should feel easy.[13]
  2. Do your normal daily activities. Sometimes when we have a crush, all we want to do is obsess about them. But part of what makes you crush-worthy is living the life you're living, not obsessing about something that might never happen. Obsessing will certainly not make it happen. If you normally go out with friends or do yoga or anything else regularly, keep doing it.[14]
  3. Don't ruminate. Thinking in endless cycles the same thoughts over and over about a guy who may or may not call you won't in the end make him call you. If you find yourself in this thought cycle, gently bring yourself back to the present moment. Focus on your breath and how you feel. Avoiding rumination can help the crush not seem so painful, because rumination tends to reinforce the negative feelings you are already feeling. [14]
  4. Don't judge yourself. You will feel a lot about a crush, and judging your feelings (feeling guilty about obsessing, or feeling ashamed that you still like them after they haven't called you) won't help. It's easy to get stuck in our heads with our feelings and it can feel insurmountable.[15]
    • Remind yourself that you are awesome with or without this crush in your life.[16]
    • Tell yourself that your feelings are valid, but also that they might not be representative of reality.[17]

Moving On

  1. Feel the feelings you have about moving on. If your crush doesn't call you back, and your efforts go ignored, it may be time to move on. However, before you move on, you may feel pain or grief over losing what you hoped might happen, especially if you've had the crush for a long time. Give yourself time to grieve and feel whatever feelings you feel about moving on.[18]
  2. Respect yourself. Take care of your self by eating well and getting exercise. Don't stop hanging out with your friends. You can give yourself some space, but make sure you're not cutting off your support system. Finally, remember that you are not any less just because your crush didn't return your affection.[19]
  3. Get back out there and express interest in other partners. This may be the most important step to moving on when a guy doesn't call you back. If this one person isn't interested, that's okay, because it is incredibly likely that someone else will be. If you're having trouble finding someone, try joining groups that share your interests, such as a club or a team. Don't be afraid to put yourself out there. You're worth it.[18]

Warnings

  • Some people have differing abilities when it comes to calling people at all. It is important to remember this when assigning meaning to someone not calling you back, especially if they have something like ADHD, autism, or generalized anxiety disorder.[20] If this is the case, try making the call yourself.
  • Don’t call or text someone if they ask you not to contact them.[21]

Related Articles

Sources and Citations

  1. ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jennie-shulkin/why-it-is-ok-to-text-firs_b_5444989.html
  2. ↑ http://www.pewinternet.org/online-romance/
  3. ↑ http://www.theguardian.com/money/2003/mar/17/careers.jobsadvice5
  4. ↑ http://www.glamour.com/story/love-letters-101-how-to-write
  5. ↑ 5.0 5.1 http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/answered-questions/if-he-likes-me-why-wont-he-call-0
  6. ↑ http://youqueen.com/love/seduction/should-you-call-him-first/
  7. ↑ http://thoughtcatalog.com/chelsea-fagan/2012/10/7-rules-for-communicating-with-your-crush/
  8. ↑ 8.0 8.1 http://www.salisbury.edu/careerservices/facstaff/OfficeEtiquette/Telephone.html
  9. ↑ http://theweek.com/articles/448643/how-flirt-according-science
  10. ↑ https://counseling.caltech.edu/general/InfoandResources/dating101_1
  11. ↑ http://www.bustle.com/articles/688-call-me-maybe-go-ahead-give-him-your-number-heres-why
  12. ↑ http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/answered-questions/beautiful-outside-no-boyfriend-0
  13. ↑ http://thoughtcatalog.com/sabrina-alexis/2015/12/if-he-is-sending-you-mixed-messages-the-message-is-clear-he-doesnt-like-you/
  14. ↑ 14.0 14.1 http://www.yourtango.com/experts/mary-jo-rapini/how-stop-obsessing-over-guy-you
  15. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/your-mind-your-body/201201/10-ways-enhance-your-emotional-intelligence
  16. ↑ http://www.swarthmore.edu/share/what-makes-a-healthy-relationship
  17. ↑ http://www.emotionalcompetency.com/distortions.htm
  18. ↑ 18.0 18.1 http://thoughtcatalog.com/ella-ceron/2014/09/5-practical-realities-of-getting-over-your-unrequited-crush/
  19. ↑ http://www.couplescounselingchicago.net/getting-over-a-crush-7-essential-tips/
  20. ↑ https://asadults.wordpress.com/2012/06/17/the-psychology-of-a-phone-call/
  21. ↑ https://www.privacyrights.org/content/how-put-end-unwanted-or-harassing-phone-calls

You may like

Retrieved from "https://kipkis.com/index.php?title=Get_a_Guy_to_Call_You_Back&oldid=331494"