Make Your Parents Understand You

Parents think they know what the kids of today are going through. Kids of the 21st century will be going through a lot more pressure, stress and aggression than back when your parents were kids. Things have changed. Bullying is easier than ever, thanks to technology. Smoking, alcohol, depression, everywhere you turn. The headlines, yet again, "Teenager murdered!" The streets aren't safe. Unfortunately, parents aren't that smart. Today is a lot harder then 20 to 30 years ago. Pressure and stress is why teenagers wish they weren't around. Teenagers can't handle all the stress that is put toward them today(s).

Steps

  1. Ask your parents how their day went every day when they come in the house after work. Make sure they know that you care.
  2. Make sure your parents know that if you are locked in your room, it usually means you're tired, had a rough day, or just chilling. It's difficult being a teen. Studying at school all day and the constant pressure of peers always competing to be the best is exhausting. Everyone needs 'me' time.
  3. Allow parents to see you're a mature teen. Contribute to household chores and offer to take care of siblings. Parents need a break as well.
  4. Talk to your parents if they're interested. Give them something to keep them happy. Let them know what school's like for you, name a few friends and if you're interested in someone, let them know. Parents are happy knowing that you're happy, so acknowledge them in a small way. By doing this, parents will know that when you don't want to talk, it's fine. The parent should understand that you just simply want to be left with some privacy.
  5. If there is a problem in your life, promise to talk to your parents in your own time, but do talk to them if you can.
  6. Sometimes both parents work and in some cases parents have more than one job. It's not fair and they were once kids as well. Let them know you will help them where you can. For your parents to understand you, you have to talk. No one is born with a set of instructions, so open up.
  7. If you're being bullied, talk to someone. Even if you don't think your parents care, someone somewhere does. You can sort the problem out, and who knows? You might start helping others as well.
  8. Remember that communication goes both ways.

Tips

  • Understand that your parents are just people, and that they can't always be right. Listen to them when they give you advice, but don't forget to think for yourself.
  • Refrain from using melodramatic phrases such as 'I hate you!', 'You'll never understand me', 'I wish I was dead', etc. Doing this will just make you look really childish and ignorant, and you'll probably feel ashamed for saying such things later.
  • Don't scream at your parents, and if you do, apologize afterwards. Try to see things from their point of view, too. They're probably doing the best they can, and they want you to be happy, so cut them some slack.
  • Instead of locking yourself in your room when you're upset, try talking to your mom or dad about what happened to make you feel this way. If it is something they did, they can apologize or explain their decision. If it is something that has nothing to do with them, they can comfort you, and offer you some perspective.
  • When you were growing up, your parents probably had an idea of what kind of person you were going to be. If you don't end up becoming that person, your parents will need to adjust to that. Know that this can take time.
  • Your parents will say "I know what it's like; I was a kid once " but things might have been different back then, and they might not have had the same problems as you're having. Hang in there and understand that they think they know how you feel and why (even if they didn't have the exact same experience).

Warnings

  • Locking themselves in bed rooms does not always mean children are getting depressed. Or playing on their iPod, or just chilling out after a hard day at school. Sometimes you (or someone else) just wants to hang out alone in their bedroom for fun because they are bored or something, or just chilling after a normal day of school. They just want some privacy, but it doesn't mean they have a problem.
  • Don't get upset or yell at them, as that will just make everything worse.
  • Staying out all night is not healthy for a child and you need to help your child understand dangers.
  • Try to be interested in what they are interested in.
  • Look out for signs of bullying. Is your child defensive? Is s/he putting her/himself down? Is there a sudden character change (for the worse, ie quieter, sadder, less communicative)? If you have always been close to your child and you now aren't, try to bring back your relationship and arrange to do fun things together, like order a pizza and a great movie you all enjoy. If you suspect your child is being bullied, make sure you try to give your child opportunities to talk to you and open up. Drop in conversations about what happened to you when you were bullied and how you overcame the problem. Subtly mention bullies are usually cowards and are probably being bullied in their own lives somewhere. Let them then feel brave enough to tell you.

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