Stop Your Mom from Telling Everyone You Got Your Period

Getting your period is a milestone in your life, but not necessarily one you want to share with the whole world! Feeling confident about your period will help you get ready to have an important conversation with your mom about keeping your period private.

Steps

Being Confident About Getting Your Period

  1. Don’t be embarrassed or ashamed about your period. While getting your period can be exciting, scary, and even confusing, remember that you are not alone. Women all over the world have their periods every day. [1]
  2. Educate yourself about your period. The first step to feeling confident about your period is understanding what’s going on with your body. Learn about your menstrual cycle, how to take care of your period, and what to do if you’re having period problems from a reputable source like the federal government’s Office on Women’s Health.[2]
  3. Get comfortable talking about your period. Having conversations with other girls and women about periods can help you become more confident, less anxious, and in control.[3]
    • Do you have a mom, older sister, cousin, or aunt you can talk to? Try asking, “What was it like when you got your first period?” the next time you are alone with her. Most women will be happy to share their experiences with you.
    • Talk with a friend who has also gotten their period. Having period conversations with your friends is a great way to share tips, tricks, and recommendations for dealing with your period. You could ask your friend, “What kind of pads or tampons do you like?”
    • If you’re still shy about talking periods with friends and family, you can always ask a teacher, school nurse, or other woman you trust. For example, you can say, “Mrs. Smith, can I talk with you after school privately?” Once you are one-on-one with your teacher, you can ask any period questions you have.

Getting Ready to Talk to Your Mom

  1. Write down your feelings. Grab a journal, diary, or notebook and sit down with it for at least 15 minutes. Think about your mom telling other people you got your period, and write down your thoughts.
    • For example, if your mom told your sister, try writing, “When my mom told my sister I got my period it made me feel…”
    • You could also write, “I don’t want other people knowing my private business because…”
  2. Make a list. Make a list of the things you want to tell your mom during your conversation. Look over the feelings you wrote down earlier and let them guide you. You can take this list with you when you sit down to talk to your mom.
  3. Pick a time and place for the conversation. Knowing where and when you’re going to talk to your mom will help you prepare mentally. Having the conversation as soon as you can means you’ll be closer to solving the issue sooner. Waiting too long can cause anxiety and might result in your mom telling more people about your period.
    • Do you usually have some alone time with your mom after school, while cooking dinner, or when she is driving you home from soccer practice? These could be great times to talk with her.
    • If you don’t have regular one-on-one time with your mom, ask her if there is a good time the two of you can sit down and talk privately. Try saying, “Mom, there is a private issue I’d like to talk to you about. Can we schedule some alone time to discuss it?”

Talking to Your Mom

  1. Make it an intentional conversation. Keep your list with you and make sure you get through all of your points.[4]
    • If you or your mom gets sidetracked, look over your list and wait for a pause in the conversation. Then try saying, “Mom, I understand what you are saying. I still have a few more things I’d like to say.”
  2. Use “I” statements instead of “you" statements. Your mom is more likely to respond positively if she doesn’t feel like she’s being blamed or attacked. Talk about how you feel and how her behavior is affecting you.[5]
    • For example, don’t say, “You ruined my birthday party because you told all my friends’ moms I got my period!” Instead try saying, “I felt really embarrassed when I overheard you telling all the moms about my period.”
  3. Ask your mom to respect your privacy. Explain to your mom that your period is private. Period. Tell her you are not comfortable with her sharing personal information about you without your consent.
    • Try saying, “Mom, I understand why you might have wanted to tell my friends’ moms I got my period. But my period is my business and I am not comfortable with you telling others personal things about me.”
    • You could also say, “Mom, can you please ask me if it’s okay before sharing my private business with others?”
  4. Thank her for the conversation. No matter what the outcome, let your mom know that you appreciate her listening to you and respecting your privacy.

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Sources and Citations

  1. ↑ http://always.com/en-us/tips-and-advice/puberty-101/how-to-feel-confident-during-puberty
  2. ↑ http://www.girlshealth.gov/body/period/
  3. ↑ http://pbskids.org/itsmylife/body/puberty/print_article12.html
  4. ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/merri-macartney/make-it-an-intentional-co_b_9802332.html
  5. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cui-bono/201211/are-i-statements-better-you-statements
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