Answer Where Do Babies Come From

It's natural for kids to ask questions, such as "Where do babies come from?" However, it can be uncomfortable for you as a parent, especially if it comes out of your 3-year-old's mouth. Nonetheless, your child deserves an answer.

Steps

Knowing What to Do When the Question Pops Up

1. Don't dismiss the question. Your kids are curious about the world. "Where do babies come from?" is a natural question, especially if your kid is about to have a younger brother or sister.
2. Answer the question directly. However, you don't need to provide more information than your child is asking for. That is, you don't have to talk about sex (yet) if your young kid is just asking about where babies come from.
3. Don't think your kid is too young. If your child is old enough to ask, they're old enough to have an answer.
4. Be calm and comfortable. Older kids may feel uncomfortable asking about babies and sex. You should acknowledge that sex can make people feel uncomfortable, and that's fine. However, younger kids are asking a simple question. If you show you are uncomfortable, they will pick up on it. They may associate that embarrassment with sex and their bodies.
5. Brush up on your knowledge. You should know the basics before talking to your kids. You may have forgotten what you knew from sex ed. Pick up a book to learn it again.

Answering the Question

1. Tell the truth. You don't need to give all the information available, but you should answer honestly. Don't make up stories about storks or cabbage patches.
   • For instance, your child may ask where you'll get her new sister. You can say, "Mommy grows your little sister in her uterus, which is near her tummy."
2. Use language kids can understand. Kids 6 and under may not understand if you try talking about sex. Instead, talk about what's needed to make a baby--eggs and sperm.
   • As an example, you could talk about a seed. If your kids ever helped you garden, you could say, "Do you know how plants come from a seed? Well, babies come from seeds, too. The daddy has the seed, and the mommy has the egg. They join in mommy's body to grow a baby."
3. Use resources. You can get help to answer the questions your child has. For instance, read books with your children to help answer questions.
   • Your library will have a wide selection of books.
   • You can also use educational websites. Many websites explain the basics to kids. Just be sure to explore the sites with your child.
4. Use correct terms. Don't be afraid to call parts by their names--penis, vagina, womb, and so on. As long as you're comfortable with the terms, your kids will be, too.
5. Don't try to stop the conversation. Your child may be satisfied with a little information, but she may want more. Wait until you've answered all her questions before moving on to other things.
6. Don't worry if you kid wants to move on quickly. It's fine to give your child information in little spurts, as he requests it. You don't need to have one sit-down talk about it. Instead, let the topic work its way in naturally.
7. Guide your child through the pregnancy. If your child is asking questions because you or your wife is pregnant, let your child be a part of it. That is, take him along to ultrasounds so he can see the child develop. Let her feel the child kick. These types of activities help your child understand the reproductive process.

Knowing Where Your Child Is At

1. Understand that all kids are curious about their bodies. Even kids under 2-years-old want to know about their bodies. They also want to know about other people's bodies. They're old enough to start learning the proper names for their body parts.
2. Know where 3- to 5-year-olds are. Kids this age will start to notice differences between their bodies and other people's. They're old enough to learn what should stay private.
   • For instance, kids this age do masturbate. However, they are old enough to learn that this activity should only be done in private. In fact, even kids under age 2 can start learning about privacy.
3. Understand what your 5 to 8 or 9 year old knows. Kids in this age can start learning about the basics of sex. They should also know the basics of relationships. For instance, they should know that some people are straight, while others are homosexual or bisexual. They should also be learning about puberty at this age.
   • As above, don't be afraid to answer questions as they arise. For instance, maybe your child asks "What's a hand job?" You could answer: "A hand job is when adults are having sex, and one uses his or her hand to touch the other person's genitals." Be matter-of-fact and to the point.
4. Learn what 9- to 12-year-olds want to know. Children this age are ready to know what sex is. Also talk about safe sex with them, including birth control and condoms. Talk with them about waiting to have sex until they are ready. Reassure them that everything they are going through with their bodies is normal.
5. Know how to talk to 12- to 18-year-olds. These kids are going to be more embarrassed about talking about sex. However, if you've talked to them earlier, they should be ready to talk when they have issues. Also, reinforce the need for birth control. Let them know how they can get it and help them access it if necessary. Though it's difficult for many parents, you need to accept that kids this age may have sex.

Tips

• Anatomically-correct baby dolls are a good way to introduce young children to their bodies. They can help your kids ask questions and understand how things work.

Warnings

• Remember that reproduction is a natural part of life. If you're uncomfortable when children come to you for guidance, they may seek that guidance from less credible sources.

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• Announce Your Pregnancy

Sources and Citations

See also

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