Deal With a Crush

Got a crush? Crushes do crazy things to your brain and heart, and can make you act like you're out of your mind. Nothing's worse than pushing away your crush because they think you're too weird! With a little self-control, you can make sure that your feelings don't go overboard, and potentially turn your crush into a relationship.

Steps

Coping with your own feelings

  1. Get the right attitude. If you're all-emotional and can't think straight, you won't be very likely to get any of the following steps right. In that case, check out How How to stay sane when you've got a crush.
  2. Understand that it's going to require effort to control your feelings. Sometimes a lot of effort. In order to accomplish whatever you want with you and that “oo la la” someone (whether it be kissing, dating, etc.), you can't expect them to just fall for you.

Finding out where you stand

  1. Communicate with the person. It may feel awkward at first, but realize that if your crush thinks you're just trying to be friendly, he or she will probably want to talk to you. No matter how dumb you feel, eventually you're going to have to try starting a conversation about something you're both interested in. If it seems too hard at the moment to do this, maybe wait a while until it seems like a better time.
    • Don't start conversations if you don't understand the subject matter; focus only what you know about. This sounds fairly obvious, but think about it: If you don't watch football, don't bring it up! It'll make the other person feel odd if he's doing all the talking.
    • After you can actually talk comfortably to him/her, they're going to get used to talking to you.

Getting a date with your crush

  1. Use body language, but don't overdo it. If you're talking to a guy, licking your lips supposedly reminds them of kissing. Don't do this too much or they're going to think something's wrong with you, like you are badly in need of chapstick. Playing with your hair a little bit might be a good thing too, but go easy on this one.
    • If you're a guy talking to a girl, make eye contact. Don't stare her down, but don't feel embarrassed. Girls really like it when guys give them a little 'spark' by looking at them. For both guys and girls, smile. Sad people look like they don't want to be bothered. Smile when the person looks at you. Smile when you talk. And it doesn't have to be a huge, great grin, it just has to be 'a little something'.
  2. Drop hints. If you want to hint to them you like them (after you've been chatting and all for a while...), you don't have to invite them to go somewhere with you if you're uncomfortable with that. Once you get confidence, you can hint something like, "Hey, me, so-and-so, whatshisname, whatshername, and a couple other people are going to Miniature Golf this weekend. Wanna come?" Realize that you shouldn't ask this as though you think they'll say no. Say it as if you want them to come for fun, and then that might give you a hint on how much they like you. Also, it'll make them feel pretty good that you're inviting them with a few of your other friends instead of just taking them by themselves. Perhaps after a few of this outings, it won't be so bad asking them on a real 'date'.
  3. Be original with dates. Take them somewhere you're sure they'd love to go. If they're into basketball, get tickets to a game of your hometown team. If they love a certain restaurant and seem to bring it up in conversation a lot, take them there.

Dealing with rejection - yours or theirs

  1. Know that the worst that can happen is that your crush says no. If you're getting completely negative vibes, the person clearly isn't right for you. It's hard to be rejected but better to know so you can move on.
  2. If you realize after a while that you don't really want to go out with this person, you simply want to be friends, stop the flirting. Just treat them like you would any of your other friends. Then, unless they start loving you, you won't have a problem.

Repelling a crush

Not everyone wants the crush they're having. Here are some ways to get rid of the feelings and the crush.

  1. Make a list of things about this person that you don't like. This will help you to stay focused on why you don't want to date this person.
    • Drop hints that you don't like this person. If you do like someone else, make that clear.
  2. Stay away from this person. If you happen to bump into each other or get paired in class, simply be polite and no more, do not engage in conversation and only offer grunts for answers if they ask you questions.
  3. If the crush asks you out, say no. Don't beat about the bush. Just say that you think they're a nice person but they're not your type and you're still looking for Mr./Ms. Right.

Tips

  • Don't agree about everything, especially if you don't mean it. Guys like it when you are a little different than them, it gives them an idea of who you are. You do not want to come off as trying too hard.
  • Do the clock test! Look at the clock quickly, then look at them. If they were watching you, their eyes will automatically follow you and you will end up looking at each other. Good way to find out if he/she likes you!
  • Every time a door closes, another opens. If they say no to something the first time, you might get another chance after you know them better. Also, if you're rejected, there's hundreds of boys/girls out there who probably deserve you more than the person who doesn't want to be around you.
  • The easiest way to get together with a crush is having your friend help you out. Don't spill everything to your friend, and definitely don't talk to your best guy friend about your crush, especially if your crush is his friend. Just be yourself and take chances. Sometimes you have to put yourself out there and do things yourself but most likely you'll get your guy.
  • If you're completely rejected and feel terrible, realize in a week you'll probably not care about them. If they don't want to talk to you or go out with you, they're not worth crying over. Remember, nobody is worth crying over, and the one who is won't make you cry.
  • Figure out what happened if something goes wrong. If your crush used to like you as a friend, but won't talk to you, take time to think about who's fault it was.
  • Don't be clingy and don't always hang around with him/her. Remember, you have friends too! If you can't help but stay with them then just ask them to come hang around with you and your friends. They will feel more connected with you.
  • For the guys: girls like it when you just go up to them and talk to them. They like listening to what you have to say. Do not feel weird if you are the only one who is talking.
  • If your friends don't approve of your crush, don't let them hold you back. Go for it if you truly think he/she is a good person.
  • Do not let the crush take over your entire life! Concentrate in school and at your after school activities. The more they slip into your mind, the more they will mess you up in everything else. Try to set aside time to think about them, don't let them ruin your educational priorities.
  • Remember that your crush will pass one day. Maybe after a few weeks of making friends with them, you might lose interest and stick to being friends.
  • To the guys: girls like it when you start the conversation and make eye contact. However, if you keep the eye contact for too long it can become awkward.

Warnings

  • Simply staring at your crush all the time will not make anything improve. It will just make them think you're weird.
  • Don't be too persistent with the person. It's terribly annoying and they won't want to be around you.
  • Don't lie about your accomplishments, personal items, or bands you like. You are allowed to be you. If you love rock music and they detest it, you don't have to argue with them why. If you say "I love Aerosmith" and they reply, "Oh, I don't really like that band", you can respond with something like, "Ok, that's all right with me. Everyone has their own tastes. So what band do you like?"
  • If the person you like is rude to everybody except for their friends, you should probably go fishing for a different crush.
  • Don't be overly obsessed with your crush, it will seem like you don't have a life. Don't always talk about it either, it could get very annoying to your friends.
  • Don't be stuck-up.
  • If he/she has close friends that you think are trouble or rude, chances are that your crush is like that, too.

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