Attract a Christian Girl

Do you have a thing for that pretty girl in your youth group or your church? Is there a particularly religious girl in one of your classes that you've got your eye on? With a few simple steps, it's not hard to show your affection and, hopefully, to get her to like you back. Being too vocal or forward may be more off-putting to a romantically reserved and careful Christian girl than it would be to the average girl. However, with a little charm, real Christian values, and a warm heart, you can woo her!

Steps

Respectfully Wooing a Christian Girl

  1. Talk to her! Yes, you've all heard this a million times, but it works! If you're in the same Youth Group, talk to her about the Bible study. Ask her if she's planning on going to the meeting next week, or if she's planning on going to the up coming worship night. That sort of thing. Those are great conversation starters! Don't say, "Oh, so you help your dad clean here on Saturdays. How Interesting!" Ask her opinion.
  2. Spend more time with her. You can't truly love someone without getting to know them, so if you have a crush on some girl, start trying to get to know her better! Look for opportunities to share God's love together. For instance, try sitting next to her in Bible study. Don't be afraid to talk to her. More than likely, she'll be happy to start a conversation with you.
  3. Make her laugh. There is no greater joy than God's gift of laughter. Everyone loves to laugh. Try making a habit of engaging in some good-natured humor with your crush, you have an opportunity to strengthen the bond between the two of you, making way for greater love.
  4. Find common ground. God gave every person talents and interests - capitalize on the ones your crush and you share! If the object of your affection is in to drawing and you are too, then try drawing together sometime. Or better yet, draw each other simultaneously - this is a real challenge that will probably make you laugh at how bad you both are at it.
    • If, on the other hand she's into something that you aren't, like queuing for hours to get an autograph, you don't have to lie and pretend to like it, but do try instead to give it a shot. Try finding out why she likes it ("So, did you learn the Yakima flute gradually, or were you a natural?") You don't have to like everything she does, but she'll really appreciate your attempts to become interested in what she likes.
  5. Don't be afraid to be yourself! Girls want to know the real you. Usually, the reason girls want boyfriends is because of the special bond a boy-girl relationship offers. Serious relationships allow a soul-to-soul intimacy that even being best friends can't replicate. A relationship, especially one founded on the love of Jesus, is no place for masculine posturing or for playing a a predefined role. Christian women appreciate strong and honest yet sensitive men - men that can laugh and can cry as well, men who can fess up, and men who can protect them yet still be kind and gentle.
  6. Take care of yourself. Self-respect, demonstrated through the care you show yourself, is just as important to them as it is to anyone else. Pay attention to your physical appearance and hygiene. Try to stay healthy with proper diet and exercise. Keep a busy but reasonable schedule. By doing these things, not only do you make yourself more attractive, you also show the proper respect for the body you have been granted by God.
  7. Go on a date. Religious people have fun too! Take your girl to the movies, a sporting event, a skating rink - anything she'd like based on her interests. Enjoy yourself, but maintain your respect for her and your love for Christ at all times by acting with tact and kindness. Above all, never, ever, force her into an uncomfortable situation.
  8. Follow up with a second date (and another, and another...). Don't let a successful first date lead nowhere! After your date, drop hints that you would like to see her again. Say things like, "See you soon," or "Do you want to hang out next week?" If she seems game, follow through with it! Over time, it should become natural, even expected, to be dating each other.

Demonstrating Christian Values

  1. Have a strong, healthy love for the Lord. Often, one of the things a Christian girl will find most attractive in a guy is a heart for God. A great way to display this love is to become a devout believer. You'll probably want to attend mass regularly (especially the masses she attends) and to take an active interest in scripture. However, you'll want to avoid extreme forms of dogmatism - don't use your religion to criticize her or impose limits on her. Everyone hates condemnation - any conviction should come from HER conscience, and if she asks you for advice, listen and share.
  2. Treat her with respect. She's a Christian girl, so, chances are, she'll want a boy who will treat her like a real woman. Conduct yourself like a Christian should, by treating her with respect. Be a gentleman to her in whatever way you know how. To some, this will mean opening doors, carrying her books, and offering her your seat, while, to others, such traditional displays of respect will seem outdated. Never be casually lewd around her. Talking dirty may impress your friends, but most Christian girls will be off-put by this sort of talk. Some will show a wild side when they're more comfortable around you, while others never will.
  3. Pray for her and ask her to pray for you. If you are both very religious, you may want to pray for the object of your affections and (cautiously) ask her to do the same for you. You may ask for general well-wishing prayers, or for guidance from God for something specific you are struggling with in your walk with God. This has the potential for awkwardness, so try to avoid sharing intensely personal details until you are very close with this person. Instead, you may want to speak in generalities - sometimes, just asking for a prayer with no other explanation is enough.
  4. Put the Lord first. Your Christian girlfriend should be a very important part of your life, but not your reason for living. If your love for Jesus isn’t motivation enough to grow in maturity and pursue godliness, then you are not ready for a Christian woman. Your first goal as a Christian man should be to grow in your relationship with God and to keep him at the center of your life. Do this before you think of starting a close relationship with any Christian woman. Only when Jesus is placed in the middle of the relationship and, more importantly, your own life, you can truly experience love as it is meant to be.
  5. Act like a gentleman! Most Christian girls are very classy, and they want classy men. Open the doors for her, pull out her chair, and always pay for the date. Remember to be polite and respectful around her family! Most Christian moms, and especially fathers, look for this in guys. They want a guy to treat her daughters right and be polite! By doing that, parents will probably approve of your relationship with her much more quickly, and it might give you a better chance to be alone with her quickly!

Tips

  • Remember, God puts opportunities at your door at all times, so trust in Him and He will make your paths straight.
  • Respect people of all ages and classes in general. She is bound to notice it.
  • Give her compliments. If she plays an instrument at church tell her she plays it really well. Again, don't lie.
  • Be traditional. Most Christian girls are especially appreciative of this. Meeting her parents when you're dating her is a big deal, and it will probably happen the first time you take her out. She might want you to ask permission, and follow this precaution. It's better than the brooding shadow of parental disapproval. Be respectful, helpful, and polite. Some families have strange ideas on dating, so listen to what they're saying. Understand their concerns, as this is their carefully nurtured prize. Her father may be impossible to deal with: just realise he's sussing you out. Sometimes he'll have a test laid out, so think a moment before you speak. Don't see danger everywhere, but guard your tongue.
  • Never lie to her. She'll find out you were lying, and you'll look really bad.
  • Join a Christian group such as a youth group. Girls with strong faith love guys who are not afraid to show and express theirs. Again, this does NOT mean you jam a Bible down her throat, but that you are real.
  • Be yourself!
  • Don't try to be with her every second she's around. Sometimes it's best to be in a different group (if you are split into groups) and just be yourself and have fun. She will notice how you act with your friends, and if she likes you, she'll try to hang with you more.
  • Make a club together! Maybe you both read the same book that you both like. It will help your relationship grow!

Warnings

  • Remember to put God first! Make sure that you are firm in your faith and that by entering into a relationship with another believer, it will not make you stumble.
  • Just because you like this girl doesn't mean that God wants you to be with her; make sure that you follow His plan.
  • Never put her in a situation in which she'd have to decide between you and God. Odds are, you're likely to end up kicked to the curb.
  • Find out if she has a boyfriend first, or if she's in a relationship with someone. You don't want to put her in a bad position.
  • Girls can be a moral part of a guy's life, but don't let girls consume your entire life; keep your heart focused on Him as well.
  • Be careful of how people perceive you. Keep your reputation clean and good. Don't use profanity.
  • Just because she is Christian doesn't mean that she doesn't care about looks; you might actually have to work out or buy some acne medication, but don't overdo it.
  • It could happen that she is just going to church but she is not that Christian at all. In this case, you need to decide if you really want to start a relationship with her, because differences in religious beliefs can create stress for both people involved.
  • Some Christian girls just want guys as friends, like brothers.
  • Make sure you have met her parents before you decide to date!

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