Deal With an Envious Friend

Envy may be defined as an emotion that "occurs when a person lacks another’s superior quality, achievement, or possession and either desires it or wishes that the other lacked it."

Steps

  1. Steer away from envious people. They will not admit they are envious typically. Steer away from this person. Keep away until they confess and say sorry. If not keep away, you can not afford to keep envious people in your private world. People that envy you are not your friends.
  2. Examine his behavior. See his actions, words, etc. Sometimes they may make a facial response, so be alert.
  3. If you would like to do something, and he says things like "You can't", "You suck at..." or "You're not going to make it" then those are signs of envy. For example: You would like to sing, and he says you shouldn't because you are a bad singer but others say you have a great voice, something's wrong.
  4. Try to help him out in that situation, talk to him about this feeling. If you don't succeed try to Break Up with that friend.
  5. Talk to somebody about that. You might not see he's envious, but if you tell others the situation they may identify it.
  6. Envious people talk with others about you.
  7. Investigate what made him that way. You might be mistaken for something you did that he hated and he's trying to take revenge. Or maybe he's in a bad mood; and people who are always in a bad mood often try to make others feel like dirt.

Tips

  • Don't reveal too much, keep things simple between people who don't know you well.
  • Make friends with people who have the same things as you or more, this way you don't have envious people trying to pull you down.
  • Ask other people that know you both if that person talks about you. Is it bad? Is it good? You'll never know if you don't investigate.

Warnings

  • Remember that if you confront your envious friend they may become hostile and deny. Worse, they may even try to convince others that you are the envious one. Try to focus on your own accomplishments and avoid getting into a "one-upmanship" game with them as they will try to brag whenever your are around. Just ignore them and be gracious if you see them.
  • Handle an envious 'friend' with extreme care. If he/she is extremely envious any small reaction to their envious remarks or actions may cause them to get worse and possibly even try to hurt you. (Remember our friends know just how to push our buttons so it's better to distance your self in a peaceful way slowly over time).
  • If you listen to them you'll be just like them. So don't let them take your confidence and your strength away.
  • Remember the difference between admiration, envy and jealousy. Admiration is when someone likes something about you and is inspired by it but they do not wish that you lacked it (a good friend has and SHOWS this as well). However, envy is when they like what you have (and show it by copying or worse yet, saying that they came up with it,etc) and want you to lack it (i.e they belittle your accomplishments or overact or exaggerate the quality in you that they desire). Jealousy is the feeling someone will experience when someone possesses something and is fearful of losing it. So, make sure that you label it correctly. If a friend is envious of you, remember that it is a genuine form of flattery although painful. Remember that they feel inferior and remember that when they try to belittle you.
  • That person might be your worst enemy, or your best friend. And even if its your best friend, don't pay attention to he/she or their actions.

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