Get All the Girls

Meeting someone new can be an everyday occurrence, but getting to know them and asking them out eludes most people quite often. Getting to know a woman and asking her out can be much easier with with right attention to details. Once you can talk to one woman, talking to many more will become easier.

Steps

Feeling and Looking Good

  1. Understand your qualities and traits. We possess a lot of qualities that would attract and intrigue us. One of the best qualities a person can have when it comes to talking to and picking up women is availability.[1] Expressing your intentions of wishing to ask her out will come across without any confusion.
  2. Be confident. Approaching a woman should be both fun and exciting; it's an opportunity to get to know someone new. The difficulty of approaching someone reveals your confidence.[2] Confidence is always considered the best quality in a person.
  3. Dress for the occasion. A part of looking good boils down to knowing how to dress because of where you are going. Music t-shirt, sandals, and shorts might be great for a festival or time out on the beach, but that won't work for a night out on the town. Keep in mind some basic fashion tips.[3]
    • Invest in a nice pair of shoes and keep them polished. Shoes should be the most expensive article of clothing you wear.
    • Keep things simple. Don't overdo the colors and the accessories.[4]
    • Update your wardrobe. New is good, and every man you see who is well-dressed and confident is usually sporting clothes that look new.
  4. Make a habit of staying well groomed. When it boils down to it, humans do gravitate to what they find attractive such as a nice bistro, a wonderful book cover, and a lovely smile. We tend to associate positive qualities with what is good and attractive.[5] A sloppy head of hair and untamed whiskers sends the wrong message to others. Keep up with some simple grooming tips.[6]
    • Whichever facial hair trend you follow (mustache, beard, stubble) keep things tidy.
    • Cologne is helpful but don't over do it.
    • Pick a barber/hairstylist who listens to your needs and see them at least once a month.
  5. Smile often. Having a good time and being comfortable should be your main goals when going out. A smile signals both these feelings, and women will take notice.[7]

Talking to Women

  1. Pay attention to women. Before you can even approach a woman, you must observe their body language. On average, men tend to miss out on initial inviting body cues from women.[1] Here are some body language cues that should signal a woman is approachable:
    • Tossing of hair.
    • Exposure of neck.
    • An open torso.
    • Wrist exposure.
    • Showing of hands.
  2. Talk to her. Conversation is very key to making a good first impression. In general, conversation and talking makes a huge impact on a woman's interest in a man; it opens the opportunity to make a connection, and most women do connect through conversation.[8]
    • Do your best to find common grounds. Similar interests and similarity in general is something that naturally attracts us to one another.[9]
  3. Keep the conversation balanced. Avoid sounding like an expert on topics; it comes off as desperate to be authoritative not to mention you'll avoid connecting with her by making it all about you.[10] To avoid this, ask questions that invite her to talk and build off of what she has already mentioned with follow up questions.
  4. Figure out if she's interested. Once conversation is ignited, return to paying attention to cues to see if the woman is intrigued with you and your approach.
    • Notice if she is getting close to you. The closer a woman allows herself to be with you, the more interested she may be.[11]
    • Pay attention to the conversation. If she carries things beyond introductions and small talk, she might be gaining comfort in your presence.
    • Her eyes speak to you. If she makes eye contact and scans you from head to toe, that's a sign of intrigue.

Talking to many women

  1. Set social goals. If you are making a big adjustment in your life such as starting over from a long relationship or abandoning internet-dating for social scenes with more human interaction, then give yourself a lot of credit. Changing your lifestyle can be difficult at first, but setting the right pace by making obtainable goals will set you on the right direction.[12] Start by talking to at least one woman when you go out and build from that to talking to two or three on a given night.
  2. Cope with rejection. Investing your energy and time talking to women becomes difficult with rejection. Do not despair. Even the most well known celebrities and ladies-men face rejection.[13] Also, the more women you speak to, the more rejection you'll face; it's the inevitable. However, you will also increase your chances of succeeding by talking to more women.
  3. Be nice. Kindness goes a long way when talking to people, and nothing is more of a deal-maker than a woman saying you are "nice"; that's code for "you're interesting".[14] When you start talking to more and more woman in one social setting, people will notice, and it will resonate with other women.
  4. Get her phone number. When you have entered a conversation with a woman, you might need to set the pace for getting contact information. Create a habit of asking a woman for her number before saying goodbye. Always ask even if you may not use her contact information. Good practices will turn into good habits. Remember, not every woman you approach might peak your interest. Speak to all sorts of women, even ones who are not your type, and be sure to ask for phone numbers.[15]
    • Adding women to Facebook, Instagram, and other social platforms is a start but lacks that intimacy of personal contact info.

Tips

  • Be yourself. Brad Pitt is Brad Pitt. David Beckham is David Beckham. You have to be you. That genuine sense of you must come across, without trying to imitate others.
  • Never approach a woman from behind. This startles women and puts a sense of fight-or-flight in them that will not be associated with attraction. [16]
  • Be respectful. Chances are other women will pay attention to your interactions with other women, and being rude or crass will vibrate negatively in way that others will take notice.

Sources and Citations

  1. ↑ 1.0 1.1 http://www.scienceofpeople.com/the-psychology-of-attraction/
  2. ↑ http://ca.askmen.com/top_10/dating/top-10-traits-attractive-women-look-for-in-a-man_1.html
  3. ↑ http://www.mensjournal.com/expert-advice/upgrade-your-style-25-easy-tips-for-men-20131101/loosen-up
  4. ↑ http://www.kinowear.com/15-quick-fashion-tips-for-men/
  5. ↑ http://chataboutyou.com/how-to-be-attractive-to-women
  6. ↑ http://www.esquire.com/style/a26360/groming-advice-2014/
  7. ↑ http://www.askmen.com/scent/attraction/top-10-tips-to-project-confidence_1.html
  8. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-love-doctor/201001/3-things-you-need-learn-about-the-opposite-sex
  9. ↑ http://www.scienceofrelationships.com/home/2012/5/17/top-5-classic-studies-in-the-psychology-of-attraction.html
  10. ↑ http://www.askmen.com/scent/attraction/top-10-tips-to-project-confidence_4.html
  11. ↑ http://madamenoire.com/407082/signs-a-woman-is-flirting-with-you/8/
  12. ↑ http://30sleeps.com/blog/2007/08/01/social-skydiving-the-art-of-talking-to-strangers/
  13. ↑ http://www.askmen.com/dating/player/25_love_games.html
  14. ↑ http://www.askmen.com/scent/attraction/top-10-tips-to-project-confidence_5.html
  15. ↑ http://www.askmen.com/dating/player/37b_love_games.html
  16. ↑ http://www.askmen.com/dating/player_100/133_love_games.html
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