Get a Girl Who Is in a Relationship to Like You

Have you ever had a crush who was dating someone else? It's not your fault if you've developed feelings for a girl who's already in a relationship. Although she is taken, you can still become friends with her. Just be sure to avoid threatening tactics that may sabotage her current relationship. Enjoy being friends and if she happens to become single, learn how to ask her out.

Steps

Becoming Friendly

1. Learn about her. If you don't already know very much about the girl, ask some of her friends to tell you what she likes. This may be pretty easy to find out if you share mutual friends. Finding out what she likes can focus on what you have in common.
   • For example, you may find that she loves the same types of movies that you're passionate about. Try catching movies at the same time so you run into her and have something to talk about.
2. Spend time with her while in a group. Some people can become instant friends while others need to spend a bit of time in each other's company. Create emotional bonds by hanging out together, having fun together, and becoming comfortable around each other. If you're both hanging out in a group, make a point of seeking her out to talk to her. She'll probably be flattered or at least willing to talk to you since you've shown an interest in her.
   • Realize that this won't happen overnight. You'll probably need to spend a considerable amount of time together.
3. Show her you care about her. Let the girl know that you're there for her if she needs someone to talk to. If she does come to you for support, listen and be there for her. You don't need to profess your love or say anything nasty about her current partner. Instead, just make casual small talk, ask her opinion about something, or talk to her about things going on in her life.
   • Just paying attention to her will signal to her that you care about her. This will increase her feelings of friendliness towards you, even if she's in a romantic relationship.
4. Be patient. It can take a while to develop a friendship. Don't pressure the girl into a relationship. Instead, just learn to enjoy her company. You may become really good friends for a while or the girl may leave her partner and decide to start a relationship with you.
   • Remind yourself that being a supportive friend can actually encourage the girl to reconsider her current relationship. She may realize that you make a better partner.
5. Be yourself. If you like a girl, it's easy to think that you need to be the kind of person she'd like. For example, if she competes in several sports but you don't enjoy being athletic, don't pretend to enjoy or participate in sports for her sake. You should be honest with the girl so she becomes interested in starting a relationship with the real you.
   • If you are dishonest with her, you'll weaken the emotional bond you're building with her. You'll also set yourself up for disappointment later on when you're not happy pretending any more.

Exposing Her Feelings For You

1. Spend time with her one-on-one. You don't need to ask a girl out to spend time with her one-on-one. She may feel less pressure if you simply ask her to go do things together without labeling these outings as dates. If she always agrees to spend time alone with you, she's probably interested in you too.
   • For example, you could go out for coffee, buy music together, check out a farmer's market, or just go shopping.
2. Offer a romantic gesture. Think back to the things she likes and try to do something out of the ordinary for her. The classic is giving the girl flowers or something romantic like a poem. However depending on what she likes, you could do something original that's also romantic. For example, if she's really interested in original artwork, paint her something.
   • Don't worry that whatever you give her isn't professional quality or expensive. The point of the romantic gesture is to signal your feelings for her.
3. Drop hints that you like her more than a friend. While you're spending time together one-on-one, tell her how much you enjoy being with her. Let her know that you have fun hanging out in a mutual group too, but place the emphasis on your time alone. You could also mention how important she's become to you or how your feelings have developed towards her.
   • If you're anxious about hinting to her directly, consider texting or calling her. You might find that you have more courage when communicating electronically. This will also give her a little time to process her feelings and respond to you.
4. See how she responds to flirting. Casually flirt and see how she reacts. If she's encouraging you, she may smile, flirt back, tease you or laugh. These may be signs that she's interested in starting a romantic relationship with you. If she gives you the cold shoulder, tells you to stop it, or seems uncomfortable, give her some space.
   • You can keep spending time in mutual company, but if she doesn't respond well to your flirting, you should consider moving on. If she does like the flirting, continue paying her attention and trying to spend more time together.

Asking the Girl Out On a Date

1. Think about your needs. Before you become too attached or involved with the girl in a relationship, ask yourself what you're hoping to achieve. Do you want to simply become good friends because you think you have a lot in common? Or are you looking for a romantic relationship? Since the girl is in a relationship, you need to figure out:
   • If you're willing to wait for her current relationship to end
   • If you can move on emotionally if she remains in her current relationship
   • If you'd be fine with looking for a different girl who's available to date
2. Decide if you should ask her out. If you've become good friends, you may be wondering whether or not to move the relationship forward. If she's still in a relationship, avoid asking her out. Since she's in a relationship, she's already made her choice. If she's broken up with her partner, you could prepare to ask her out or wait and see if she asks you out.
   • If you do decide to ask her out, plan how you want to do it. Figure out in advance what you want to say and how you'll ask her.
3. Ask her out on a date. Keep the stakes low and ask her out for a date. Avoid jumping straight to asking her to be your girlfriend. If she just ended a relationship, that may be too much pressure. Be confident and hopeful when you ask her. You should also give her a few choices.
   • For example, you could say, "I know you like Thai food. Would you like to try the new Thai restaurant in town with me tomorrow? Or maybe we could go to a concert this weekend?"
4. Respect her decision. If she says no, don't get upset, argue, or keep asking. She might not be ready or interested in starting a relationship with you. Be mature and calm if she refuses you. Chances are, she feels bad about turning you down, so there's no need to be mean or rude to her.
   • If you don't know what to say, say "Ok, maybe another time, I totally respect your decision." This shows her that you like her, but also that understand how she feels.
5. Be honest with yourself. If the girl is still in another relationship, don't lie to yourself about her feelings for you. You might be good friends, but if she's still in the other relationship, it's because she's choosing to remain. Don't tell yourself that she's secretly in love with you or is just waiting for you to ask.
   • Part of being honest with yourself is knowing when it's time to move on. If you think you're more than just friends but the girl doesn't want to leave her relationship, you may need to consider seeing someone else.

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Sources and Citations

See also

• Balance Others' Feelings with Your Own
• Support Someone Whose Child Is Hospitalized
• Stop Bad Examples from Hurting Your Relationship
• Talk About Daily Stress with Your Partner
• Give a Guy Space
• Change Someone Else's Behavior
• Know when Someone Likes You
• Understand What a Relationship Means
• Get Someone to Like You
• Impress Your Friends

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• Get a Girl to Like You
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