Get a Girl to Like You
Every girl is different, and there are as many different ways to attract a girl as there are girls. That being said, there are some basic principles of attraction you can apply to most situations. To get a girl to like you, you'll need to get noticed by being her friend while simultaneously flirting and testing the waters of romance to avoid the friend zone. When the time is right and you think your feelings might be mutual, you can ask her out to seal the deal.
- Have your own life. If you tend to fall into the "friend zone," this will be especially important. Real girls (girls with a strong sense of purpose and self-worth) don't like guys who have no lives or who cling to them like plastic wrap . Some girls do like that, but for all the wrong reasons—either they're insecure and needy for attention, or they're control freaks who have a need for dominating guys. Unless you want to sign up for one of those scenarios, focus filling your time with your own friendships, interests, hobbies, and goals. This also gives her a chance to do something with you without it becoming a date.
- Look neat. Keep yourself well groomed and in shape. If you want to get a girl to like you, basic cleanliness and appearance are extremely important. Girls notice things like bad breath, flab, body odor and greasy hair before they notice that winning personality. Give them a chance to see your good qualities by making a good first impression with your appearance.
- Stay in shape. Work out regularly: run a mile or two, do some sit ups, get a six pack, etc. Note that while fitness is important, you shouldn't overdo it; having too many muscles can make it look like you care more about going to the gym than fostering meaningful relationships. Also, some girls dislike having the Incredible Hulk as a boyfriend, and it makes you look slightly stupid - thanks to the dumb jock cut-out. So make it clear you're fit, but not thick. In other words, stay fit without being obsessive or a pair of walking biceps.
- Have good personal hygiene. Brush your teeth, shave etc. If you can't have access to a toothbrush, carry breath mints. When you take care of yourself, it makes you more appealing to others and it will thus have a positive impact on your level of confidence. Always be sure to smell and look nice, so shower regularly and nothing is worse than the post-gym stink out, so use deodorant.
- Speak to her. It's unlikely a girl will be at all interested in you if she doesn't know you exist. Make an effort to talk to her, even if approaching her seems scary at first. Highlight your compatibility as friends and more by talking about hobbies and interests that you have in common. Become her friend; she can't get close to you unless you're friends.
- Find a hobby you both like. It doesn't matter if it is anything from sports to school. If you both like hockey, invite her to a game. If you both like video games, play one together, or she could cheer you on if she doesn't usually play. Girls are all different in likes and dislikes.
- If your conversation skills need a polish, read a few of these:
- Make her laugh. Telling jokes or funny stories is a classic way to make a person laugh, but not the only way. Be bold and think of some antics that will make her laugh, like clowning around. Find out which are her favourite comedians, funny movies, or sitcoms. Watch them with her. Tell her to dare you to do something, then do it (as long as it's not illegal, of course). Laughter will come by itself if both of you are relaxed and enjoying each others company. The more she laughs, the more she wants - and she will want more.
- Be her friend. Girls don't just fall for random strangers. (Well, some do, but the relationship never goes very far!) Start being friendly to her in a non-invasive way. Get to know her and begin hanging out as friends.
- If you're in the same lecture or tutorial as her, find out her name. Every time she walks into the room, smile and wave at her. Sometimes this is all it takes for a young woman to notice you. At the same time though, don't do this too often; It will just end up looking like you're obsessed with her. If you're worried, greet some of your girl friends as they enter, too. If she doesn't seem to see you, when she walks by, just say "Hi _______," in a friendly way, but don't interrupt the class or any conversation she's holding.
- If she's shy, she might just smile back, so don't take this as a sign that she doesn't like you.
- If you want your relationship to move ahead faster, don't get stuck in the quicksand - that is, the 'Friend Zone'. Sometimes, a girl won't go out with you because she's afraid if the relationship will end badly, but that she'll lose your friendship! To start moving things along, be a little flirty; a woman will only be intimate with a man she knows, trusts and cares about, and this can only be achieved with taking the time to get to know her through friendly chat. However, don't come on too quickly - part of the fun of the relationship is the chase - and have patience. Girls HATE being forced into something, especially on the relationship front.
Stay out of the Friend Zone
- Flirt. Being flirty will help keep you out of the friend zone because it will remind the girl that you're attractive as well as a good friend. When you see or meet a girl you like, make brief eye contact and smile. Strike up a casual, flirty conversation and see how she reacts. If you avoid her eyes and act nervous, she's going to go into overdrive working out what on earth you mean. Girls react mainly on body language and emotions. If you make them feel happy, they'll see you as fun and caring. If you creep them out, they will get nervous - in the options between fight or flight, flight is the most preferable.
- Relax. Chill. Don't put pressure on yourself or her by thinking of her as the girl of your dreams. Try not to stress about what will happen if you make a bad joke or say the wrong thing. She may be just as nervous, and small mistakes will likely go unnoticed or will simply be ignored. Don't worry if flirting seems difficult at first. The more you talk to girls, the more relaxed you'll become. Girls often are the most jumpy because of the thousands of different responses their brain puts together at every word. They stress over picking the right one, and that sets them so flustered that they'll barely notice the bad joke from trying to relieve your awkwardness.
- Enjoy interacting with this attractive, friendly girl whose path crossed yours. While you don't want to stress yourself out, remember that the final goal is to get her to like you. Don't say things that will seem too forward or offensive. Mostly, the same girl is getting to like YOU.
- Compliment her. If you really like someone, you probably appreciate a lot of things about her. Why not let her know? If anything is different or new (her hairstyle, nail polish colour, shirt, etc.), make note of it. The more unique the compliment, the better received it will be.
- Most girls like being complimented on something that makes them distinct, not something that plenty of other girls have. If you compliment her appearance, try to be original, perhaps by specifying a particular feature. Better yet, compliment her personality or skills. If you're not sure what's good or bad complimenting, read How to Compliment Girls.
- Don't tell her she's beautiful too often. If she's very pretty, it's likely that several other guys have already mentioned it to her; it may sound trite after a while. If you're going to compliment her, stand out by making comments about her personality, how good she is at something, how she does things, etc. Complimenting her appearance too much may make her think you're shallow and maybe that you just want to have sex with her, and you don't want to give that impression.
- Impress her. There's no one-size-fits-all solution here. What impresses one girl might make another roll her eyes. Your best bet is to be yourself. Demonstrate a unique skill, talent or something difficult to do that you're proud of, something that sets you apart from the crowd. Not only will this make her feel good about you, but it can boost your confidence, too.
- Be careful not to be cocky. Impress her, but do not boast too much about your great achievements and plans. While self confidence is an attractive quality, extreme cockiness is a huge turnoff for most girls.
- Break the touch barrier. There are several ways to touch a girl without being sleazy. Hold her coat while she puts it on. Offer her your hand when she's stepping on an uneven surface. Hold out your hand so you can lead her through a crowd, catch her if she stumbles, and hug and high-five her when she's euphoric. If she's worried, put your hand lightly on her shoulder to comfort her. These are all polite ways to get a little closer to someone without being creepy.
- Girls feel touch more sensitively than most men, even if they put up a tough front, so make sure the touching is light; for example, don't slap her on the back, but pat her on the shoulder. If you see any signs of discomfort, stop!
- Test the water. After there’s a bit of mutual attraction, start throwing out low-level “bait”—little jokes that hint at interest—to see if she bites. A good baiting statement should be light and playful, and usually ambiguous. "Baiting” is how women flirt too, so be on the lookout for things she might be “joking” about or things that could have a double meaning.
- There’s a certain look a woman will give you if you get that right (and if she’s the right girl to begin with). It’s like you gave her the secret handshake. She’ll look back at you for a couple of seconds, wondering if you “get it” or if you just accidentally stumbled on the right words. When she does this, hold eye contact, half-smile, and don’t react otherwise. This is like being one point of the world's high score: it's probably the most fragile moment in the history of both of you. Wait for her to say the next thing, and cross your fingers it'll be yes.
- Take your time. Don't be pushy or needy. Nice girls normally need longer time than boys to develop deep feelings. Continue courting her by following the steps above, but don't rush things. If you end up in a relationship with this girl, she'll always remember how you made her feel when you were just getting to know each other.
- Make her feel appreciated, not invisible or smothered. Do the chase slowly and gently (but steadily) to reduce fear of sexual advances (if any), avoid looking desperate, and to allow her to get accustomed to a new man in her life. Do not force the relationship; carefully look for clues on where and when you can see her again.
Ask Her Out
- Ask her out. Once you feel comfortable, invite her to go somewhere or to do something with you. Make sure it's something that you're both interested in. If you want, show her your world. Bring her somewhere that you feel comfortable and preferably, where you have or do something you're proud of.
- Alternatively, you can express interest in seeing her world. Is she a musician? Ask if you can see her perform. Is she a mathematician? Ask to read her report or thesis.
- If you aren't yet ready or comfortable with the idea of sharing your personal lives to that extent, just go out for lunch or do something simple together where you can get to know her better.
- Make her feel important. Chivalry is not dead. Keep it up by opening doors, holding an umbrella over her, carrying stuff when she has her hands full, lending her your jumper, and basically caring for her. The mark of a true gentleman is to a lady feel like a lady. Girls want to feel important and valued. When communicating with her, make an effort to say more rather than less and to keep things personal rather than generic. When you want to ask her out or to do something with you, ask in person, preferably at her home. She needs to know that you're prepared to go the extra mile and not wuss out on her.
- Be romantic. The stereotypical icons of romance (roses, candles, chocolate and teddy bears) can only go so far. Think about what really gets that special someone excited. Recognize what makes her unique; find and do things that only she would appreciate. Being romantic means acknowledging how special a person is, and that means demonstrating that you know––better than anyone else in the world—–what makes her unique.
- Pay attention when she's talking! Keep a mental list of things that she loves and that make her unique. What are her quirky (perhaps secret) interests, obsessions and fantasies? What makes her eyes light up? Girls are quick to notice if you remember things they told you a long while ago.
- Confide in each other. Tell her what you really enjoy in life, what gets you excited and find out what gets her excited. Be positive. If you had a bad day, still greet her pleasantly with a big smile. Most importantly, listen to everything she says. Whether she talks about herself, her family, or her hobbies, pay attention. Some things could be useful or important to know later in the relationship. Nod to show that you're listening, and also respond to what she says so she knows that you really are listening. Women are very appreciative of guys who demonstrate sincere interest in what they say.
- Be yourself. You are unique. Be the authentic you. Bring out your best. Let her know you as who you truly are. Use your talents, gifts, and strengths and let yourself be known. If you have great sense of humor, share that with her. If you love science, music, poetry, politics, or sports, let her know what you love. The right woman will fall for you and love you just the way you are.
Test Your Knowledge
- Be honest. Never lie to a girl just to impress her.
- Make her feel positive about herself.
- Don’t talk about yourself the whole time. People have a tendency to talk about themselves too much, especially when they are nervous. If you feel like you need to say something, ask a question instead. Remember to listen as much as you speak.
- Don't be afraid to smile. Even if you don't have much of a smile, it will make you seem down-to-earth and friendly. A calm smile will make you more approachable, especially if you're just getting to know her.
- Try not to compare her with other girls you have been on dates with, even in your mind.
- Using good manners helps to make her notice you. For example, open doors for her and pull a chair out for her to sit (or the whole "laying your jacket over a puddle" thing). If you're just getting to know her, more subtle manners will help you. You don't want to creep her out by randomly pulling out her chair in the cafeteria if she barely knows you! And when you do this, don't stand there grinning and waiting for her to thank you profusely. Pull out her chair, let her get seated, and then go sit down. Open the door for her, continue listening if she's talking, and come in after her. Continue with what you were doing. If she does thank you, just nod and smile or say "My pleasure." No big deal.
- A girl likes a guy who is true to himself. It shows that he isn't fake and that he will most likely not be playing her. Pretending to conform to an image in an attempt to impress her will instead make it more difficult for her to trust you when she finds out, which will happen eventually.
- If you know her birthday, maybe you could bring her a gift card for her favorite store (it doesn't have to be a lot of money; she'll appreciate it just the same) or that new scarf you've heard her talking about with her friends. Just the fact that you 1) remembered her birthday and 2) brought her a gift will make you stick out as a sweet guy in her mind.
- Don’t talk about dates you have had with other people, especially on a first date. You can find better, kinder things to talk about.
- Remember, the girl you fancy is not a trophy to be won or just a goal to achieve; you are finding out if your relationship will work for your whole life. If you both go into a relationship like that, whatever happens will be best for both of you.
- Understand that it's an urban myth that most girls like "bad boys" best. Many girls love a sweet guy, rather than the jerk who only likes them for looks. If you try to be a sweet rather than "bad" guy, you will have longer lasting relationships that are strong, too!
- Remember that if she doesn’t fall for you, it's not a failure; you will learn more about yourself and eventually you will find the woman you are meant to be with. There is no perfect way to get every woman to like you. But as you become a better person, you will find you attract more people to you.
- If you want to show a girl how much she means to you, really spend some time getting ready for a date. All-out date activities are not just cute, but show your date if you really did spend the afternoon preparing things for the date.
- Take the the lead in your courtship. For example, initiate the date, decide what to do during the date and decide when to end the date. This reduces the chances of relationship failure or rejection of you later.
- Most of the time killing yourself with the anxiety of what if's hurts more than making the mistake you are scared of making.
- As you approach her don't point your body towards her she will see this as you being needy.
- To get girls online, you need your post high school education course information and one useful personal interest, or two to three useful personal interests or hobbies written in you own words. To be able to call a girl at will to your place, you need to improve the quality of your work and property, and have your business or career already running.
- Be hygienic. You have no idea how much this will help you! Body odor and uncleanliness are universal turn-offs. That includes bad breath, flatulence, burping, and foot odor. Shower and brush your teeth daily (right before you see her is ideal), trim your nails, and wash your clothes and shoes regularly. Some girls find the smell of cigarette smoke or strong cologne offensive.
- Don't try to be perfect, and don't expect perfection from the girl you like. Nobody is perfect. Accept that both of you have flaws, make mistakes, and sometimes have bad days.
- Never try to make her jealous. This tends to backfire on the guy who does this. If you're trying to find out if, in fact, she does like you, ask one of her friends. Or compare how she acts around you and around other guys. If she acts differently around you, then something is there. Trust your instincts. If you believe there's good chemistry between you and her, be patient and let it develop. Do not tell or show her about your current and past dates with other women even if she asks over and over again; if you can show loyalty for her, the relationship will go smoother faster. A woman may take this relationship investment seriously, and looking and showing interest by you in other beauties in a restaurant in front of her can be seen as inconsiderate and insensitive, so focus your eyes and effort only on her on this date.
- Too much of anything is bad. Being too preoccupied with her, using every single opportunity to touch her, showering her with too many compliments, and cracking enough jokes to rival a stand up comedian can all ruin your chances with a girl. Try to be a little more casual at first.
- Don't be too perverted when flirting. It could be a sign that you want her body and not her. A lot of girls don't like it when boys are all gross and talk about body parts. Some girls (very rarely) like to be all gross and perverted, but most of them don't.
- Don't tell her dirty jokes; it's rude. It's guaranteed that 99 percent of girls out there won't appreciate you cracking up about your body parts and stuff like that. They'll just think you're disgusting and immature and stay away from you. But the other one percent love it!
- Always do the chase, courtship or ask personal questions in person (face to face) when you have the ability to do so. You must show the courage, confidence and courtesy to do so. If you have her street address and you live in the same city, never ask personal questions be email. Do not use contact methods that can be easily falsified.
- Don't stalk her. If she doesn't want to date, it means that she doesn't want a stalker either. Move on to another girl.
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