Get the Girl You Want if She Already Has a Boyfriend
Having a crush can be a powerful thing. They can make you do crazy things even if they aren't available. Stealing a girl away from her boyfriend is a major taboo, but it happens and can be done. There is no fool-proof way to do this, and nothing is guaranteed to work. It's worth a shot if you're ready to accept the consequences.
See Get-the-Girl-You-Want-if-She-Already-Has-a-Boyfriend to learn more about when going for a girl who's already taken might be a good course of action.
Contents
Steps
Planning out Your Move
- Decide what you want. Weigh your options and decide if you really want to pursue this girl. Going after a girl with a boyfriend is frowned upon, but it happens. Make sure you actually like this girl and not the idea of her. Sometimes the unattainable can spark desires, but before you do anything be sure you like her. Be honest with your feelings.
- Research your crush. Look her up on social media websites like Facebook or Twitter. See if you share interests. Imagine if you can really picture yourself with this person. Talk to someone who knows her. If you're unsure if she has a boyfriend, ask someone who knows her better than you do.
- Don't stalk this girl in real life. It's only acceptable to look into her internet presence.
- Evaluate your chances. You'll need to be realistic with your wishes. Are you in her social circle? If she's always hanging out and making eyes at the football captain and you're kind of a gamer/bookish dude (or vice versa). It's just not going to happen regardless of what magazine articles, TV shows, or movies may want you to believe. You've got to be at least on her radar.
- Be patient. This process could take years. Nobody knows how long a couple will stay together. The only ones who do know are the people dating, and usually, if they're young, they have no idea.
- Keep your options open. Throughout your pursuit don't limit yourself to only this girl. There is a high chance that she will stay with her partner. It is not healthy to hold onto the idea of someone without giving anyone else a shot.
Preparing Your Appearance
- Focus on your passion. Whenever you begin strong feelings towards a girl, you'll typically develop more energy than usual. Try to use this energy as a creative force. Write songs or poems. Draw or paint whatever is in your head. This will also give you something to show off when you're ready to reveal this to your crush.
- Dress nicely. Once you understand what type of friend clique she is in, you should have an idea of the type of style she likes. Don't go overboard with changing your appearances. You need to put effort into your appearance but not too much effort.
- Be yourself. Don't change for a girl. Plenty of guys do this and it's not a terrible reason to change, but you shouldn't do it. Try focus on the qualities you think she would like about you. Accentuate these attributes about yourself.
- Check your attributes. Younger girls typically like guys who are older and taller than them. Being in shape and having a good sense of humor are also positive traits for attracting a girl. Weigh your chances of this girl being attracted to you.
- Stay active. When you start to develop a crush on someone forbidden, you should stay physically active. There is a chance of you becoming depressed and anxious at home. Staying active will help curb these feelings and keep your feelings in reality.
Becoming Her Friend
- Acknowledge her presence. If you see her around, make sure you say hi, even if you're with your friends or parents. If you've never talked before this could be weird for her. If you feel uncomfortable speaking to her, smile at her in passing.
- Join her friend group. This should be a slow process. The goal is to try to truly make friends with the people your crush is friends with. Fake friends are no good. Go for the people you wouldn't mind hanging out with.
- Careful making friends with her girl friends. They could get the wrong idea and develop feelings for your. This could also spark an interest from the girl you like.
- Gauge the situation.
- Talk to her. Once she notices you and you actually have similar friends, you should talk to her. Don't flirt with her when you first start talking. Be genuine and try to be funny, but let it come out naturally. Talk about the things you know she likes. Share with her your opinions on whatever it is she cares about.
- Getting into a serious conversation about your interests is good, and should create an impression.
- Friend her on social websites. Add her on Facebook and Twitter after you've already had a conversation about something. Now she'll be faced, at home, with the thought of you. Like one of her recent status' or a profile picture to show that you've took time to look at her page.
- Spend time together. Start to hang out with her outside of school or college. Invite her and her friends to join you and your friends. Make it a group oriented affair at first. Don't ask her to hang out alone or she may feel uncomfortable.
- Exchange numbers. It helps if there is an event that you are both going to. Be as casual as possible, and don't make it seem like you are desperate. Be smooth and try to appear innocent.
Making a Move
- Communicate with her. Slowly but surely, start to talk with her, a little more each day. Try to talk as much as you can without being overbearing. A little communication will deepen the friendship, and potentially open more feelings to develop.
- Talk to her about her relationship. Find out from her if she is happy with the way things are going in her relationship. Talk about the actual relationship with her and not just about her boyfriend. She might appreciate the chance to talk about things. This will also drop a hint to her that you are interested.
- Talk about girls around her. Don't be crude when you talk about another person. You're introducing thoughts about being attracted to girls. This is obvious, but if you talk about girls who are a similar type as her, she might pay attention.
- If she is slightly interested, she might become a little jealous by this. This can seem like a counter productive technique, but you're simply trying to add more attention to yourself.
- Flirt with her. Just don't make it obvious! Eye contact is a powerful agent in attraction. When appropriate try to touch her shoulder in order to get her attention. She could become very uncomfortable by this. Gauge her response and don't over do it.
- Tell her your feelings. This can be a tough move to make, or it could feel like the most natural one. Once you've laid the ground work for the big move, you need to talk to her. Be honest with both yourself and especially to her. Pick a time when you are both alone. Let her know that she doesn't have to do anything she doesn't want to do.
- Tell her that you still want to be friends no matter what she decides. Even if she isn't ready to be with you now, she could come around if you're available.
- Respect her choice. If all her friends start acting cold towards you, you're probably not welcome to hang out anymore. Gauge the situation based on her body language and what she tells you. Most people are flattered to learn someone likes them. Other people can become creeped out by this, especially if they're in a committed relationship.
When Should You Try This?
- Try it if you think she likes you back. Going for a girl who is "taken" can be controversial, but if you think she might like you, too, it's OK to try. After all, she's free to choose what she wants to do, even if right now she has a boyfriend. Think about interactions you've had with her. Did she give you reason to think she's romantically interested? If so, as they say, "all's fair in love and war."
- However, make sure you aren't interpreting friendliness as romantic interest. Just because she's nice to you doesn't mean she wants to break up with her boyfriend for you.
- You should also consider your relationship with her boyfriend. If you're friends with him, you might want to consider his girlfriend off-limits, out of respect.
- Try it if she's open to dating other people. Maybe she's not in an exclusive relationship with her boyfriend. Lots of people date more than one person at once, so this could be an option she's open to. It's still good to make sure she's interested in you, though, before you go too far. Even if she's open to dating around, she may not see you that way.
- Don't take it too far if she doesn't seem interested. Girls don't particularly like to be asked out after they've turned someone down - especially if they already have a boyfriend. Even flirting constantly could annoy her. If she seems happy with her boyfriend, let her stay that way. The best you can hope for is becoming her friend.
Tips
- Be very nice and polite.
- Compliment her.
- Try to impress her but don't go over the top.
- If she's the clever type, instead of helping her with homework or classwork, ask for help, but don't play dumb. She'll notice.
Warnings
- Don't become a stalker. Just try to get closer.
- Don't always be the one to text or call her first. If she begins to like you, she will make an effort to do it first.
- Ask yourself if it's really worth it to be interested in someone who is already taken.
- Her boyfriend probably will not like you, so watch out.
