Talk to Girls as a Teen Boy
Do you want to talk to more girls? Don't worry -- talking to a girl doesn't have to be so hard! Just be cool about starting the conversation and keep the girl hooked by showing interest in her and charming her as much as you can. If you want to know how to talk to girls as a teen boy, just follow these steps.
Contents
Steps
Start a Killer Conversation
- Have a cool approach. If you want to have a knockout conversation with the girl, then you have to start strong. When you see the girl you want to talk to, whether it's a girl you've been crushing on for a while or a cute girl you just spotted at a party, you should let her notice you for a few minutes. Let her see you have fun with your friends and not paying too much attention to her. Then, when you lock eyes, stride over to her with confidence. Keep your head up high and look straight ahead.
- If you don't know her, then introduce yourself. Just say, "Hey, I'm Brian. What's your name?" This is simple but effective.
- If you do know the girl, just say, "Hi, How are you?" or "What have you been up to?" You don't have to be too elaborate here -- you just want to walk up to her like it's no big deal.
- Fake it until you make it -- even if you're terrified of talking to girls, just pretend like it's no big deal.
- Open with a light topic. There's no need to prepare an elaborate joke or a pick-up line or to do a backflip to get the girl's attention. Just say something that will make the girl want to talk to you more, and to get to know you a bit. This is not the time to discuss your grandmother's funeral or to talk about your goals for the future. Just talk to her about something you saw on TV, about something your dog did, or about something cool that you did over the weekend. Don't put too much pressure on yourself and start with a light opening line. Try something like this:
- "Man, my weekend was crazy. I had to help my dad build an addition to the house and I can barely move my arms. How about you? Did you do something more exciting with your time?"
- "Look at this scratch on my hand. My cat is nuts when he's hungry. How about you -- do you have any pets?"
- "Can you believe how hard that math test was? I'm pretty sure I got every question wrong. How about you?"
- Get a feel for the girl's personality. As you start talking to the girl, you should get a sense of what she wants from you. Every girl is different. If she's more shy, then she'll need you to draw her out, ask more questions, and to do more of the talking. But if she's really chatty and outgoing, then you should let her speak and not worry so much about impressing her, and avoid interrupting her as well. Once you know the kind of girl she is, then you can adjust your conversation accordingly.
- Don't worry if she's shy. She may be one of those girls who is only shy at first, but who quickly opens up once you make her comfortable.
- Though it's important to be yourself, you should stick to safe topics when you first talk to the girl, before you know whether she has a sick sense of humor or if she's easily offended by inappropriate jokes or comments. The more you talk to her, the more you'll know what you can and can't say around her.
- Even if the girl is outgoing, you shouldn't let her do all of the talking. Let her know that you can hang with her.
- Make small talk. There's nothing small about small talk. If you're talking to a girl, you can't start off with your deepest, most important desires, or she'll want to run away. Small talk is an art, and you can master it just by mentioning mundane topics that lead you to a more intimate, exciting conversation. You have to start small to end big, so don't be afraid to mention the most basic things, even the weather or your upcoming chemistry test. Here are some examples of how you can make small talk turn to a more deep topic:
- "Can you believe how much it rained this weekend? I was supposed to go biking with my dad, but we ended up staying in the house all weekend. Did you do anything fun in the rain, or were you cooped up too?"
- "I meant to study for tomorrow's chem test last night, but my little sister was sick with a cold and I had to help my mom take care of her. How about you -- do you have any siblings?"
- "I saw The Avengers last night. I thought it was okay, but not my favorite. What's your favorite movie?"
- Give the girl a subtle compliment. After you've talked to the girl for a little while, you can let her know you're interested without coming on too strong or scaring her off. You can even joke around with her a bit, and compliment her by teasing her. Just one compliment will do for now -- you don't want her to feel like you're stalking her or obsessing over how great she is. Here are some ways to do it:
- "I like the color of your shirt. It really matches your eyes. Did you do that on purpose?"
- "You have a great laugh. You should use it more often."
- "You're the only girl I've ever met who knows more about baseball than I do. How did that happen?"
Keep Her Hooked
- Ask some light questions. Once you've been chatting with the girl for a while, you can start to ask her some questions that show that her interests and opinion matters to you without prying too much. She shouldn't feel like she's in an interrogation room, but she should feel like you're genuinely making the effort to get to know her instead of just showing off or trying to impress her without caring who she really is. Here are some questions that you can ask questions while revealing something about yourself to make the girl feel more comfortable:
- "When I get home from school, I always pick up my guitar first. What do you do for fun when you're not in school?"
- "Do you like being on the tennis team? I think being on the soccer team is okay -- when our coaching isn't killing us with drills."
- "I see you hanging out with Sarah a lot. Is she your best friend, or are you one of those girls with a bunch of best friends?"
- Make her laugh. If you want to keep the girl hooked, then you have to make her laugh so she feels comfortable and wants to keep talking to you. To make her laugh, you can poke fun at yourself, tease her a bit, or tell her a funny thing that happened to you over the weekend. Don't be too obvious about trying to be funny or telling her jokes, and don't try to make her laugh just by putting people down. Here are some things you can say to try to make her laugh:
- "I've been playing my guitar so much that I think I'm becoming obsessed. Last night, I had a dream that I was Jimi Hendrix -- man, was I bummed when I woke up."
- "Is everything in your wardrobe pink, or are you just wearing all of your pink clothes at once?"
- "Yesterday, I told coach I had a cold so I could skip practice. But then he saw me hanging out at Sonic later that day -- man, was I busted!"
- Let her talk. Even if the girl is more on the shy side, you should still let her talk and tell you what she's thinking or what she cares about. You may be so nervous about running out of things to say that you find yourself rambling on about seemingly nothing and not coming up for air. Make sure to pause between your sentences, let the girl make interjections, and don't interrupt her if she tries to talk.
- If she's in the middle of telling her a story, don't just wait for her to finish so you can tell her a story that you think is similar but better -- this will make her feel like you're not really listening.
- React to what she's saying. You don't have to nod along or say "Yeah," every two seconds to let her know you care about what she has to say. Just make eye contact, nod at the right times, and make appropriate comments like, "That's crazy," "I can't believe you had to do that," or "I had no idea that..."
- Don't brag or show off. If you're bragging or showing off, then the girl will want to run for the hills before you finish listing all of your accomplishments in the world of high school basketball. Telling the girl what a great athlete or student you are won't impress her and will in fact have the opposite effect and will make her think you're shallow or narcissistic.
- You can talk about how much you like the sport you play without telling her how great you are at it.
- You can mention your favorite class without saying that you got an 'A' on the last paper.
- Don't think that the girl won't know how awesome you are if you don't brag. Instead, she'll think you're awesome because you're being humble.
- Let her see what makes you special. This is different from bragging. You can make the girl see what makes you different from all of the other guys without bragging about it. Instead, let her know a bit about your quirks or interests without making her think that you're a little weird right away. This may not be the time to tell her about your spider collection, but you can talk about how much you like volunteering at the local soup kitchen, taking your dog for walks, or writing songs.
- Find a way of bringing up one of the things you like to do that really represents who you are and wait for the girl to ask for more questions.
- After you tell her something about yourself, ask her something about herself so she doesn't feel like you're dominating the conversation.
- Play it cool. If you really want to keep the girl's interest, then you have to play it cool, striking the balance between letting her see that you like talking to her without getting puppy-dog eyes or practically drooling at her feet. To play it cool, you shouldn't crowd her too much when you're talking to her, compliment her a million times, or tell her how beautiful or amazing she is.
- You should act like you like talking to her, but that you have lots of experience talking to girls, so if she doesn't like you, you'll survive.
- Think before you speak. If you're dying to give her a compliment, find a way to make it sound less intense first. For example, if you're dying to say, "You have the most beautiful hair in the world," you can say, "I like the way your hair catches the light. I've never seen that before."
- Know when it's time to leave. There are two scenarios for when it's best to stop talking to the girl. One is that she's just not that into you, and is looking at her feet, her phone, or desperately glancing at her friends to save her. The other is when you're having an amazing time talking to her and can tell she's really into the conversation -- though it may seem unnatural, you should leave the girl at the peak of the conversation, if you're not being rude, so she wants to talk to you next time.
- If the girl doesn't like talking to you, just give her a kind goodbye and leave. There's no reason to make it worse by saying, "I guess you think I'm annoying."
- If you can tell that she does really like talking to you and you're having a great time, then it's time to prepare to make an exit.
Have a Strong Exit
- Leave her wanting more. You shouldn't pull every trick out of your sleeve, tell the girl every little thing that makes you interesting, and ask her every possible question that will fascinate her all at once. That will leave you with little to talk about the next time you see her. Instead, find a way to "tease" the conversation so she wants to hear what you have to say and to keep talking the next time you're around. Here are some ways to do it:
- "Did I tell you about the time I met Dave Matthews at a Burger King? Oh man, I'll have to save that one for another day."
- "Acting sounds so fun. I want to hear all about how you're getting into the role of Lady Macbeth next time. Macbeth is like, my favorite Shakespeare play."
- "Eddie and I are going to try surfing for the first time tomorrow. It's supposed to be really windy, so I'll let you know if we survive."
- Let her know you liked talking to her. You don't have to tell the girl that you just had the time of your life talking to her -- even if you did! Just one short sentence that lets her know that you had a great conversation will make her feel special and will make her want to talk to you again. Here are some ways to do it:
- "It's been fun catching up. I can't believe what you told me about your sister."
- "I love talking to you about music. I always walk away with a new recommendation."
- "Looks like I lost track of time because I like talking about movies so much."
- Talk about when you'll get to talk to her again. The conversation doesn't have to end there. Right before you say goodbye, say something that lets her know that you're looking forward to talking again, even if you won't get to see her for a little while. This will make her feel special without feeling like she's being stalked. Here are some things you can say:
- "Good luck with that swim meet tomorrow. You'll have to tell me all about it soon."
- "I'll see you in Math tomorrow. Please come prepared with a joke because I'll need a good laugh after we get those tests back."
- "I love hearing your stories about your family. Maybe I'll get to hear more at Becky's party this weekend."
- Exit gracefully. Once you've closed down the conversation, let the girl know that you like talking to her, and mentioned a time when you'll potentially see each other again, you have nothing left to do but to smile, lift up a hand, say, "See you later," and then walk off into the sunset. Make your exit confidently and quickly instead of lingering around until you run out of things to talk about or keep shifting feet.
- Don't try too hard at the end. Just a simple, "I'll talk to you later," will get the point across.
- If you have a place to go, like English class or batting practice, tell her where you're going so she sees that you're busy and have a lot going on.
- Give the girl a big smile when you leave to make her comfortable. It doesn't have to be an intense, over-the-top smile. Just smile enough to let her see that you've had a good time.
Tips
- Be confident.
- Let the girl talk about herself and listen to what she has to say.
- Don't be nervous about what you're saying. A survey says that girls are more interested in how you talk then what you talk about!
- Make eye contact, but not to the point where it is freaky.
- Find out if she is a listener or a talker, if she likes to talk, then let her, but if she likes listening to what you have to say then talk more, because, if she likes you back, she'll just love to hear your voice.
- Don't brag about yourself! It's insulting to some girls (and boys, for that matter).
- Wear decent clothing. You don't need to wear a $200 suit, but you should wear your favorite, nicest outfit. Take time for little details like tucking in part of your shirt, and don't lower your trousers. Make sure your clothes fit, and avoid appearing childish. Look nice, but don't look like you put hours into your outfit because that looks cheesy. Avoid looking like a slob.
- Find some conversation starters by watching TV (even the History Channel and Discovery Channel have interesting conversation starters; watch the news, especially MTV or E-News, or Entertainment Tonight. For more adult conversation, you can also watch cable news stations like CNN and MSNBC but be aware of controversial topics), browsing the web, reading books, magazines, and newspapers, and doing activities you know she likes.
- Always build up self confidence, courage and self-esteem.
- Avoid awkward silence, that can be the worst part of a conversation. To avoid this, quickly interrupt whatever she is saying and tell her you'll have to continue this conversation later and leave. Remember to apologize and tell her that you're running late. If it does come to an awkward silence, make a joke or ask a question.
- If you run out of things to say or it gets awkward, just ask for her number. If she doesn't remember it, give her yours and tell her to call or text you later. Most likely, if she likes you, she'll text you and wait by the phone until you text back.
- Ask questions, but don't go crazy with them.
- Keep yourself clean at all times. You never know when she might call you and say she's coming to see you.
- Tell her she looks beautiful. If she looks down or blushes, that's a good sign. Don't panic, but add, "Especially when you smile" and grin at her. It'll make her weak at the knees.
- Discuss pop culture references about TV, music, movies, celebrities, sports, radio, anything that recently happened where you can give your take on the matter.
- Be yourself. You don't need to be someone you aren't. But if there are some bad habits and behaviors you should change, change them.
- Avoid pick-up lines!
- Seal the deal. Find your lucky lady at the end of the day and apologize again for leaving and she will forgive you. Say you forgot what the subject was but you enjoyed talking to her. This is where you should ask for a phone number. "In case I have to leave again, you can remind me of what we're talking about" (smile). She will give you her number and you'll be all set.
- Don't be afraid to make eye contact. Nothing turns a girl off more than when you talk to her and don't look at her. But if you are talking to her, try not to stare into her eyes, that can be awkward. Look in between her eyes if you feel uncomfortable looking her straight in the eyes. From her viewpoint, it looks like you're looking her in the eyes.
- If a girl ends up coming towards you, try not to look like you've noticed. Be cool!
- If you like the girl don't spend your every second with her.
- Don't say anything that might hurt her feelings.
- Don't try to be cool.Girls like normal outfits and not like glasses and "cool"stuff.
- Never talk about exes or previous relationships, especially not in the first few weeks of dating.
- Practice on a girl family friend, cousin, from church, and sister (an older sister is recommended to talk to). This way you can practice your conversation skills with far less anxiety involved.
- Remembering everything she has said or felt is number one priority. Even remembering small things like what her favourite movie is, is important. Asking her again may make her feel like you never listened and that you are not interested.
Warnings
- Don't be too talkative because some girls will find you annoying!
- Don't gossip as some girls may find you mean.
Things You'll Need
- Clothes
- Personal hygiene products
