Go Places Alone
A little nervous about going out alone? Always having to dial a girlfriend for a trip to the mall or call a group meeting just to go to the bathroom in a restaurant? Being alone in social settings can be a bit unnerving, giving even the most self confident a case of the jitters. Here are a few steps you can take to help ease your angst and allow you to enjoy your solo time.
Contents
Steps
- Decide whether you're going out to be sociable or to do something just for yourself. Perhaps you have to make a trip alone, for a job interview or a medical appointment.
- There's nothing wrong with treating yourself to a spa day or a meal in a nice restaurant.
- If you would like to go out and meet people, there are places to do that as well!
- Decide where to go. If you want to look for social action, go someplace where there will be a lot of people, like a party, bar, or club. If you want to do something just for yourself, try a restaurant, mall, theatre, museum or a festival. These types of places make it easy to be alone, or with others.
- Go someplace quiet. Choose a place that suits your interests: if you're into art, try visiting an art gallery, a ballet, opera, or a symphony. If you like to read, you could pop into the library or bookstore. You could also visit museums, local parks, coffee houses, or gyms. Or if there is a movie you've been wanting see, see it alone! Consider many places you might ordinarily visit with friends, but make this trip into something specifically for you. You can do what you usually do with your friends, by yourself.
- Make sure you know how to get to the place you're headed. Often, friends and family will provide transportation for you, but this won't suffice if you're traveling alone. If you can't drive, or don't want to, then ask for a ride, take public transportation, walk or ride a bike. Check out Google maps, and/or different sites about the transportation systems before you travel, just be safe. If is bad to get lost with someone else; it is even worse when you are by yourself. So just be prepared and don't put yourself in that situation.
- Carry a cell phone and make sure somebody knows where you're going and approximately when you're planning on getting back. This way, if you run into trouble you can call for help, and if you run into really serious trouble and cannot call, your friends and family will know where to start looking for you. Always tell more than one person where you are going.
- Don't go to a deserted place at night by yourself. There's a good chance you could be targeted by people with bad intentions.
- Carry some cash money. You never know when you might want to eat or shop.
- Take a map with you. Plan your route and consider leaving a copy of your travel plan for the day on your kitchen table - this way if you don't arrive home when expected, your loved ones may be able to retrace your steps and get help to you quicker if you are, for example, stranded by a car breakdown, flat tire, or have an accident along the way.
- Enjoy your alone time and treasure it! There's nothing wrong with going out alone once in a while. At the end of the day, we are always on our own, and there is nothing wrong with being alone as long as you don't feel lonely (then see a psychologist or psychiatrist when that is the case).
Tips
- Keep your eyes, ears and mind open. Be aware of what's going on around you.
- Don't be afraid to try new things. You can learn a lot by yourself.
- A study shows that texting makes you look less approachable and less likely to meet new people. Relax! Put away your friends for a night and try to meet new people.
- Your personality changes a little when you're by yourself. Pay attention to this - when you're by yourself, you are probably closest to your truest self. If you find yourself "going along" with stuff you wouldn't do when alone, then you're behaving like a sheep, and should continue your solo outings until you feel strong in your likes and dislikes, and can express them effectively to friends.
- Preferably having a Pepper spray will help
- Don't go someplace just because you feel you "should." If you aren't interested in it or you don't think you'll have fun, there's no point.
- Consider carrying a pocket-sized notebook and pen. You never know, you might want to exchange emails or take a note at some point.
- If you like to skateboard, find against good, flat road to skateboard on! Or you can go to a public park and sit on the bench. If you are adventures, go for a bike ride to a new place, be sure to take a compass!
- When meeting new people don't be scared, and be confident in yourself!
- Take enough to get you around so that you don't need to pull out your ATM card for a hamburger. Carry about $60 in your pocket or wallet, and anything over that in your sock. If you're mugged, you'll have enough cash on you to hopefully satisfy your attacker, but you won't lose a huge sum to the thug. And the bonus is, should your pocket develop a hole or you mislay your wallet, you have a reserve "bank" in your sock or shoe.
Warnings
- If you meet somebody while you're out who wants to go elsewhere with you, such as back to their own house, be very cautious. It's best to stick to public spaces with people you don't know.
- If you get stuck while you're out and cannot get home, do not accept a ride from a stranger. Borrow a phone and call your own family.
- It is highly recommended for women that if you are going out alone, to make sure to carry your keys in your hand while walking to your car or getting into your home. If possible, carry a small can of pepper spray in your purse and to always be attentive to your surroundings. Which also means that when you are walking alone, not to be distracted while talking on the phone or texting--this makes for an easy target.
