Become a Loner

There is a big difference between someone who is a loner-by-choice and a socially rejected person. Contrary to what most people think, being a loner is neither good nor bad. Loners are individuals who enjoy spending time alone as much, or more so, than they do with friends (yes, loners do have friends). They have a low need for affiliation and peer acceptance and engage the world in different ways than others by focusing on their own ideas and being stimulated by solitude, while constant social interactions tend to drain them. Loners generally have a small circle of close friends and have higher standards for their friendship and trust. They enjoy spending time with their friends but do not depend on and attach to them like others, though they are highly loyal. Loners are generally more intellectual than others, using their time to enjoy and study anything and everything that interests them. Funny enough, both introverts and extroverts can be loners.

Steps

  1. Look at your friendships. Find who your real friends are. Most people are very open and place their trust in a lot of people, what most people don’t realize is everybody who talks to you wants something from you. Ask yourself questions about your friends: do you know who people really are? What do/did they want by being ‘your friend’? Some people truly seek your friendship while many others want something else. When you really look at your friendships, you might be surprised at who your real friends are.
  2. Stop being friends with everybody. Cut out friendships with "friends" and set higher standards. It’s okay to wait and have people prove they really care and want to be your friend. Trust is earned, not given. A loner is also called a 'lone wolf' which makes sense, they like to be alone a lot but have their 'pack' they trust. Just stick with your closest friends and really get to know them.
  3. Know when to say no. You're a loner, you like going solo. You have to be able to not hang with your friends, say no to going to that party or hitting the movies twice a week. Going out occasionally is good for you, but you don’t have to be with people 24/7 to have a good time, enjoy being alone (that is what loners really do).
  4. Let it go. Stop caring what others think and say about you, why do you care? They aren’t you and everyone is different. Introverts truly get freedom by not allowing others to get to them and doing/wearing/acting/liking what they want to. “People will think what they want, never take too much notice of it.” (John Flanagan, 04)
  5. Find interesting things to do. Loners have loads more free time than others, they are happy doing things by themselves. Reading, video games, writing, art, music, watching movies, traveling, learning foreign languages, etc. These are just a few things you can do and enjoy by yourself. Generally loners are more intellectual than others because they can really focus on themselves and spend time experiencing and learning new things.
  6. It’s not a curse. Being alone can be refreshing and lets you recuperate and step back from the world. Loners find more pleasure going solo than others, it stimulates them and really sets them working. Loners prefer it this way, they're just different than other people.
  7. Be sure that you don't get mentally upset. Some people are just not meant to be loners. If you find yourself constantly lonely or upset, consider going back to a more social way of life.

Tips

  • You are a Loner, you like solitude. Have your friends but enjoy your alone time.
  • Keep your 'pack' close, although you don't cling to them they still are your friends.
  • As a loner, you may find yourself with some more free time. Try taking up a new hobby such as gardening or writing to take your mind off your friends or to stop you from getting bored when you are alone.
  • It's better to be on your own rather than being 'used up' by fake friends.The fact of real life is that best friends can not be more than two.You may have a lot of friends,but just see everyone is not your 'best friend' except for those who really like you for who you are,those who know all your negative points and still prefer being with you,those who are least bothered about what people think about you and those who always stand by your side no matter what.These are hard to find but if you don't find one,being a loner is a better option!
  • You don't have to be mean to be a loner.
  • Don't be scarce about your standards. Make sure they're humanly possible, yet suit your vision.
  • Make sure people still like you because when the whole plan goes down the drain like a train you'll have your back up.
  • http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200703/field-guide-the-loner-the-real-insiders?page=2

Warnings

  • Mostly being a loner isn't a choice, it’s a preference you're born with or you discover you're better suited being a lone wolf
  • Some people aren't loners, if you're a highly social person but are getting stressed maybe you just need to back off from people for a while, stick with your best friends and let the world go by. You don't have to go full loner if it isn't you.

Things You'll Need

  • Activities you enjoy alone, like hobbies or video games.
  • Sufficient resources to keep you occupied and to be able to cope.

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