Show a Girl You Like Her
If you are looking to build a romantic friendship with a girl but you don't know how to get the ball rolling, here are a few pointers that may help you break the ice.
Contents
Steps
- Be friends first. Try to control the libido and see the girl as a person, not another conquest. Your first goal is to get to know about her, not just her look, as cool as that may be.
- Partner up with her on a science or history project. Be easy to work with, put in a lot of effort, and listen to what she says. A friendship may blossom.
- Pick her when you choose teams for sports. Give her reassurance after the game that she did really well, and that it was fun playing with her.
- Make a strategic friendship with one of her other friends. It doesn't matter who the friend is, as long as you don't openly flirt with her. The friend should give you an opportunity to get an introduction.
- Say Hello to her when you see her around, but don't overdo this or she'll be creeped out.
- Make eye contact and smile. Eye contact is a perfect way to let a girl know you like her without saying so. Look her in the eyes, don't shy away and don't check her out below the neck at this particular time. If she meets your eyes, smiles back or blushes, then you may have a chance. If she frowns or gives you that "what the heck?" look, back off for a while. Remember though, she may get a lot of attention from men, so that look may be automatic if you are a stranger or near stranger. Don't give up hope over one little frown, maybe she has something in her shoe? Wait a while and try again later.
- Go ahead and introduce yourself. Don't rush right up, take your time, remember, you are building a friendship. Being overly aggressive is likely to scare her or creep her out.
- A really simple, basic introduction works fine. You can say: "Hi, my name is [Name]. It's nice to meet you." You don't always need a fancy pick-up line to impress her.
- If you're a little shy or bashful, you can go up to her and say something like: "I'm sorry this is so awkward, but I get really nervous around pretty girls. My name is [Name]." She just might melt if you pull this off casually.
- If you're a little more confident and want to add a little pizazz to your introduction, try something like: "I hope you know how hard it is to summon up the courage to talk to the prettiest girl in school. I'm [Name]. How are you?"
- Start a conversation. Chat about something safe, like school, or the weather, and then ask her something about herself. Critically, listen to her answer! Don't talk about yourself too much. Keep the focus on her.
- Avoid conversations about religion, politics, or other "hot-button" topics. Religion and politics are best not talked about because they make us feel very strongly and they divide us by party or affiliation. What that means is that if you're religious and she's not, or she's one party and you're not, she's likely to not give you a chance, without looking at your other qualities. Save religion and politics for later.
- Choose something you think she's really interested in. People like talking about themselves, and by definition, she'll like talking about one or her hobbies or interests. If you get her going on one of these, you won't have to do much talking and the conversation will feel natural.
- Pay attention to what she says. Remember what she says. Show interest in her as a human being. If you really think about what she says, and remember it, you can use it to your advantage: it could help you think of the perfect gift or be the start of an inside joke.
- Compliment her on something she is good at or interested in, rather than how she looks. She was born with her appearance, but she earned her accomplishments. Look for some kind of skill like drawing, singing or a sport. Be genuine with your compliments.
- That said, many women put a great deal of effort into looking good, so if she has a new haircut, or a new bag, it's OK to notice that too, especially if she has good taste. The mere fact that you notice something new or different about her will show her that you pay attention, and that you like her.
- Reinforce the way she wants to be seen. Does she think of herself as an athlete, a thinker, or a social worker? Then give her compliments that make her feel incredibly coordinated, or incredibly smart, or incredibly compassionate. Find out the way she wants to be viewed and then compliment her on that.
- Keep showing her attention. If this is a fleeting encounter and will be your only chance to show her your feelings, flirt a little more than you would normally.
- If you're with your friends, ask her if she wants to hang out with your friends. If she's busy, ask her if she wants to hang out later. This would be a perfect time to get her number.
- Break the touch barrier. While you're talking with her, touch her gently on the hand, the arm, or the shoulder. These are all safe places to touch a girl, provided she knows you. If you do it right and she likes you, it'll send a shiver down her spine.
- Be a little playful with her. If you're friends, tease her gently (making sure she knows you're joking!) or offer to give her a piggy-back ride. Don't be needy, but don't be scared either!
- Be Patient. These things take time. But by giving her your undivided attention, she will eventually get the hint that you like her.
- In the meantime, take any opportunity you can get to ask her to a dance, go swimming or hiking with her, invite her to a party, or just be with her and her friends. Be sure to have a good relationship with her friends.
- Look for indications of reciprocal interest. Try to read her body language. Is she leaning into you? Did she just touch you lightly on the arm? Does she hold your gaze? Does she play with her hair, smile, or giggle? If so, then the odds are she likes you too. You've made quite the impression on her!
- Choose your next course of action. Once you have figured all the previous steps out, what you do next is up to you.
- You could ask her on a formal date if you like your chances. You can really wow her on a nice date.
- You could swoop in for a gentle first kiss, or even the daring French kiss. Be warned, however, because this could ruin the first date and is best saved for later on in the relationship.
- Maybe what you really want is to know how to flirt before you make your move. Look no further. You'll be flirting in no time!
Tips
- Act confident and be yourself. Confidence is key, and a personality is a must.
- Learn to take a hint. Some girls just won't like you, and that's life. If you really annoy her, just go away and don't make it worse.
- Be brave and let her know how you feel about her - holding back usually leads to regret and a wasted opportunity. If you never ask you will never know. Facing rejection is not the end of the world and it will make you a stronger person.
- If you become good friends with her friends, chances are she'll end up liking you faster!
- Do not be too "gushy," especially at first, it can be a little overpowering. Try also not to be needy.
- Expect the best but be prepared for the worst. Don't be glum when you ask her, but don't be an over-excited little bouncy puppy with no perspective.
- Be kind to the girl you like, don't rush the relationship and enjoy the person you like.
- Always trust what your gut is saying, not your mind. If you don't feel confident enough to approach her, don't.
- Be careful about where you touch her. You don't want her to feel uncomfortable around you, and you don't want to hurt her.
- Look her in the eyes and when she notices look away and smile.
- Being a girl myself, I know that some guys don't make it evident enough sometimes. From experience, you can drop hints although they might not be strong enough and she'll go off to someone else with no clue.
Warnings
- Never brag about the development of a relationship to your friends. If it gets back around to her, you'll seem immature. Girls really do not want your friends knowing that they kissed or slept with you, even if you're a cool guy. In fact, part of the thing that makes you cool is that you keep what happens between you and her between you and her.
- If a girl is showing you that she likes you (whether you like her or not), you should be careful about talking about it with your friends. Some friends might tease her and make her feel bad, which isn't very nice. On the flip side, you wouldn't want her friends making fun of you (whether it's behind your back or in front of you) when you show her interest.
- If she tries to kiss you, be careful how fast you go into it – you could give her the feeling that's all you wanted.
