Pick the Perfect Gift for Your Boyfriend or Girlfriend in Middle School

It’s so fun to give someone you care about a gift. While it’s always the thought that counts, you always hope that they love your present. It can be difficult to think of something that they will want, but don’t already have. When it is for a boyfriend or girlfriend, it can be especially difficult to choose a gift. You want to give a gift that is reflective of how you feel for them without being too extravagant.

Steps

Determining the Type of Gift

  1. Assess the seriousness of the relationship. If you just started dating, you don’t want to give a huge gift. If you’ve been dating for a while, giving just a card will come across as rude or uncaring. Determine what the last gift-giving occasion was for the two of you. What did you receive from them? Let that help you gauge the type of gift you should give.
    • If the last thing they gave you was a cool book, you could give them a book or movie in return, but you probably shouldn't give them a nice watch or piece of jewelry.
    • If the last gift you received from them was incredibly thoughtful, like a photograph in a frame, or homemade cookies, you should go for a similarly thoughtful and personalized gift, and not something impersonal, like a gift card.
  2. Decide what the occasion warrants. Giving a birthday present is very different from giving a Valentine's Day gift. If you are giving a gift because of an accomplishment (they were just in a play, they made a team, etc.) that may be cause for a different type of gift. Take stock of the situation and decide if you should purchase a sweet or romantic gift, a "thinking of you" gift, a fun gift, or something similar.
    • A birthday gift will most likely be opened in front of an audience. Birthday gifts are normally not as romantic or deeply personal as a Valentine's Day or anniversary gift.
    • If the gift is for an accomplishment, consider the accomplishment. Flowers are appropriate for many performing arts occasions, while nice pens or certificate holders may be more appropriate for an academic achievement.
  3. Consider an experience gift. Regardless of how long you’ve been dating, an experience gift could be one way to show you remembered and that you care without having to decide how big of a purchase you should make. These can be as simple as going bowling or mini golfing if that is something they love to do, or as elaborate as going to see their favorite band in concert. Science even says that recipients value these gifts more, because they can look back at the memories with fondness for a long time to come. [1]
  4. Set a budget for a purchased gift. Based on what you decided in Step One, and if you decided an experience gift wasn’t right for you, set a budget for your gift. This will help narrow down your options and guide your decision-making. Are your parents willing to help? Did they tell you how much they would give you? Or are you paying for this out of your allowance or with money from a job? Have that number in mind going forward.
    • Don't forget your budget will need to cover the gift, materials to wrap the gift if you don't have those at home, a card, and any batteries or other necessary accessories for the gift.
    • Don't worry too much about having a small budget. You can always make your gift extra special by creating all or part of it yourself, like baking something or creating a scrapbook or picture frame. If your gift is exceptionally thoughtful, they won't even notice if it cost a little less.

Learning Their Style and Preferences

  1. Take note of their interests. A great source of inspiration could be their general interests. Use this information to decide what gift to give. By using this method, you can be confident they will like their gift. [2]
    • Look in their locker for ideas—what posters or photos do they display? Those could be clues as to what else they may like.
    • Are they in clubs? Do they always talk about certain topics? Use all of this information to decide what gift to give.
  2. Solve a problem. One way to get a gift they are sure to love is to solve a problem for them. This could be a gift that they’ve been meaning to purchase for themselves but always forget, or it could just solve one of life’s little annoyances or make a task easier for them. [3]
    • Are they always complaining about needing something for their locker? That is something they will appreciate, and it shows you listen.
    • Have you noticed their wallet is falling apart, or they are always losing their pens? A new wallet or a cool set of pens with something to hold them in would solve those problems!
  3. Slip questions into conversation that will give you more ideas. Leading up to the occasion, listen intently in conversations and ask follow up questions that would give you additional gift ideas to consider. When done naturally, they won’t even notice you are asking because you are thinking of what to give them!
    • If you are talking about bands, you could say, “If you like them so much, why don’t you have any posters or t-shirts?” They may say they want them, or they may say they don’t like the band that much, or some other reason they don’t want the merchandise.
    • If a topic comes up briefly in conversation, you can ask for their opinion, “My family likes to go bowling a lot. Do you like to go bowling, or do you like mini golf better?”

Selecting and Packaging the Gift

  1. Go shopping! This is the fun part! Now that you have your ideas, ask your parent or friend if they can take you to a store to buy your gift. Have several solid ideas before you go, so if the store doesn't carry one item, or if you find it is out of your budget, you still have another option. Once at the store, look for your gift and make your purchase!
    • Don't forget to purchase any batteries or secondary items they may need for their gift to work. It's no fun to get a gift you can't use without buying extra parts!
    • If you are looking for something very specific, check online-- just make sure you have your parent's permission to use a credit card and make a purchase.
  2. Wrap your gift. Now that the gift is purchased, decide how you'll want to present it to them. Taking the time to nicely wrap a gift shows that you put time and effort into their gift, even before they unwrap it.
    • A gift bag may fit better in your locker if you need to give your gift at school. It also can fit better in a backpack and is easier to use than wrapping paper if you are worried about how well you can wrap.
    • Use ribbon or bows to make the package look prettier. They can be purchased in any color, so it can even be customized to your significant other's favorite colors!
  3. Add a card. Many people keep cards as momentos. A card is a great place to briefly write why you gave them a present ("Happy Birthday!" or "Congratulations on your leading role!") and let them know why you chose that gift or what they mean to you.[4]
    • If it is an experience, like a nice dinner out or going to see a movie, still give them a card explaining what their gift is so they understand you didn’t forget and even after the date is over they will have something to keep to remember it by.
    • You can buy your card at a store, or you can make one yourself. Even if you aren't very crafty, you can make one using a computer and fun pictures.

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Sources and Citations

  1. ↑ https://www.yahoo.com/beauty/6-science-backed-ways-to-pick-out-the-perfect-105443660897.html
  2. ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kaela-worthen-gardner/9-tips-that-will-guarante_b_4338359.html
  3. ↑ http://www.inc.com/minda-zetlin/11-habits-of-highly-effective-gift-givers.html
  4. ↑ http://www.cardmessages.com/
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