Play a Player
Playing a player isn't easy. If the guy is a true player, then he's an expert at fooling girls and breaking hearts and has been doing it for years. But if you're determined to play a player, whether it's to seek revenge on a player who broke your heart or just to have some fun with a smooth-talking Romeo, you can do it just by playing hard to get, making the player want you, and then cutting him loose when he least expects it. If you want to know how to play a player and have him eating out of your hand in no time at all, then just follow these steps.
Contents
Steps
Play Hard to Get
- Ignore him at first. If you want to play a player, you have to get his attention. Do you get his attention by fawning all over him, running your hands through this hair, and telling him how hot he is? Absolutely not. To play a player, you have to start off by completely ignoring him -- be an ice queen if you have to. If he walks into a room and tries to charm you and your girls, look away, stare into your drink, or barely say hi before you check your phone or disappear to the girl's room.
- He'll notice you precisely because you didn't notice him. Players expect to be worshipped by every woman around, and he'll wonder why his magic didn't work on you.
- You don't have to be outright rude to him. Just look completely uninterested, like you have better things to do than to talk to him. But that doesn't mean you should insult him or call him names, either.
- Slowly acknowledge him. After a while, whether it's a few weeks later at the same party or a few hours later at the same bar, you can start to open up a bit. You should let him know you see him, but just enough to make him curious and to want to get to know you and win you over. You can do this by introducing yourself, repeating his name when he introduces himself, or by smiling at him from across the room.
- Don't let him make you laugh, ask you to dance, or lavish you with complements.
- If he insists on buying you a drink, you can let him, but don't let it be an excuse for him to spend the night trying to charm you. Take the drink, thank him, and walk away.
- Let him see you having fun with your girls. Now that you've got his attention and have shown some minimal interest in him, you need to remind him that you have better things to do than to be with him. Let him see you having a good time with your girls by laughing it up with them, hitting up the dance floor with them, or just having a general good time without him.
- You can do this anywhere, not just out at a bar. If the player is in your school or someone from town, let him see you having fun with your girls no matter what you're doing, whether it's eating lunch or going shopping. Just make one thing clear: you do not need him.
- Let him see you having a good time with other guys. To reinforce the idea that you don't really need the player in your life, let him see you hanging out with other guys. Whether you're hanging out with your guy friends or if another guy is showing interest in you, you should let him see that every guy wants some of your time and that you like all of the attention -- as long as it's not from him.
- Just by chatting or laughing with other guys, you'll be showing him that you don't need him. You don't have to grind with another guy on the dance floor to show that he's not needed.
- Don't look over at the player to make sure that he sees you having a great time. He shouldn't even consider that you're trying to get his attention by ignoring him.
- Flirt a little bit. Once you've acknowledged the guy only to mostly ignore him with your girlfriends and other guys in your life, it's time to reel him back in again. After you think you've driven him crazy enough, it's time to have a quick, flirtatious conversation where you let him fawn all over you and show him that you may be interested.
- Play it cool. Don't flatter him. Just let him know that you like talking to him.
- Keep things light and fun. That'll make him want to talk to you more.
- Tease him a little bit. Don't let him take himself too seriously or think he's all that.
- Be immune to his charms. Let him see that while you like flirting with him, you're not going to fall for his usual lady-killing tactics. You can make fun of him, call him Romeo, or refer to the pack of girls behind him as his girlfriends. This will only drive him crazy and make him want to prove how different he is.
- If you don't let him charm you or flatter you, he'll only become more persistent. That's exactly what he wants.
Make Him Want You
- Be mysterious. Now that you've played hard to get, it's time to continue to be elusive while making the player want you. The first thing you should do to make him really want you is to be mysterious. Don't open up too much or talk about your past, your hopes for the future, or your biggest fears. Instead, make him guess what's really on your mind and speak in hints and innuendos instead of being honest.
- If you have to leave, don't tell him where you're going. Let him guess.
- Make him figure out who you really are, from what you love to do to how many siblings you have. Let him do all of the work instead of doling out all of the information for him.
- Don't keep him up to date about your schedule. If you're busy over the weekend, you're busy over the weekend. You don't have to tell him it's because you're celebrating your Aunt Mary's 50th birthday.
- Be fun. Part of the reason players play girls is because they're tired of girls who drag them down, fall in love, or want them to do serious boyfriend-like things like go to the grocery store or let you cook a never-ending meal for them. Well, if you want to make a player want you, you can't drag him down. You should be fun, spontaneous, and up for anything, whether it's a trip to the beach or a nice run through a rain shower.
- Always keep things light and fresh. Remember, you're trying to play this guy, not marry him.
- Talk about the fun things you'll do that day or that week -- stick to the present. This player won't be in your future.
- Laugh, don't cry. This is not the person who should see your insecurities or the things that upset you.
- Make him jealous. Even though you're spending more time with the player, you shouldn't make him think that he has your heart. If you run into another guy you know, don't be shy about flirting with the other guy. And if you're going out with another guy, tell the player about it like it's no big deal. If he knows there are other guys in your life, he'll want you even more because he'll have the need to compete for you.
- If you really want to make him jealous, you can even pretend that you're meeting another guy when you're not.
- If another guy calls you when you're with the player, don't be afraid to answer. Be fun and flirty as you talk to the guy who called you.
- Don't be jealous. If you really want to drive the player crazy, then you should show no signs of caring if you see him with another woman or if he gets a text from another woman. Players thrive from having multiple women compete over them, or from the rush of trying to juggle a few women without any of them knowing. If you act like you couldn't care less if he sees another girl, he'll only want to make you more jealous.
- To gain the power to play a player, you have to stand out to him. It's likely that every other girl in his life has been jealous. This is why you'll be different.
- If someone calls or texts him, don't say, "Who's that?" Look bored or uninterested as he talks into the phone.
- If you see another girl he knows, be extra nice to her. Show him that you don't view her as competition.
- Limit your communication. Players are used to girls who text or call them all the time and don't give them any time to themselves. Well, that's where you'll diverge from the pack. You can call him or text him once in a while, but let him do the majority of the communicating. If he reaches out to you, don't respond right away like you have nothing better to do than to sit by the phone and wait for his call.
- Don't waste time stalking his Facebook profile. Go online to do your own thing.
- If you know he's out, leave him alone. Don't text him or call him or he'll think you're obsessing over him.
- If he knows you're out and he texts you, don't get back to him until the next day. Let him worry about what you were up to while he was away.
- Maintain your independence. Maintaining your independence is a larger part of limiting your communication. You should have your own busy life, your own friends, and even some other guys to date while you're seeing the player. Don't make your schedule revolve around his; make him shift his plans around to see you.
- If he cancels on you, don't let him reschedule for the next day. Tell him you're "booked" for the next few days. Make him feel like he really missed out by flaking on you, and he won't do it again.
- When you're with him, talk about your other friends or the fun things you do that don't involve him. Let him see that you have a life outside of worshipping him.
- Beat him at his own game (optional). If you really want to play a player, then you have to be a player. Make him think that you like him while juggling him with two or three other guys. Flatter him and make him feel special while knowing that everything you say is meaningless. You should only do this if you really want to play the player or to get back at him for some reason. Changing your lifestyle this extremely can get a bit exhausting.
Cut Him Loose
- Have him eating out of your hand. Once you've tantalized the player enough and have remained mysterious, sexy, and independent, he should be eating out of your hand. He may even be obsessed with the idea that he has to win you over or that he'll be some kind of a failure if you're always immune to his charms.
- When he's eating out of your hand, you'll know it. He'll be calling you all the time, complimenting you, acting jealous whenever another guy or other plans come up, or he'll just want to spend all of his time with you.
- The look in his eyes will tell you all you need to know. If he was shifty-eyed or distracted in the beginning, but now he stares at you like you're a true wonder, then you've got him where you want him.
- Know when it's time to say goodbye. Before you cut him loose, you should get him at the peak of his affection for you -- if you cut him loose too early, it won't mean as much to him, but if you cut him loose too late, he may have given up on you. You should say goodbye at the peak of his affections for you, or when you get even the slightest inkling that he's growing bored with you.
- You can also say goodbye just because you're getting tired of playing him. It's a tough job.
- If he starts getting really attached and even tells you he loves you -- and actually sounds like he means it -- then you should cut him loose immediately.
- If you wait too long to say goodbye, you may also begin to fall for him, so don't forget to protect your heart.
- Cut him loose. Once you've decided it's time to say goodbye, you should cut off all contact with the player. You don't have to be honest about why -- you can tell him that you got sick of him, that you've got better things to do, or that you're just not into him. Don't make a big production of it or take him out to dinner to end things -- just take a few minutes to tell him how you feel at a time that's reasonably convenient for both of you.
- Or if you really want to hurt him or get him back, just let him catch you out with another guy. When he sees you, don't even look surprised or like you've been caught. That will hurt him even more and he'll get the picture.
- Have no mercy. Once you've cut the player loose, your decision is final. There's no turning back -- you won't hang out with him again, return his calls, or even grab coffee with him because you feel sorry for him. Remind yourself why you played him in the first place. Either he really hurt you or another friend, or you just realized that he's the kind of guy who doesn't respect women. If he doesn't respect women, then why should you respect him?
- If you give in and do see him again, he'll quickly lose respect for you. If he's a true player, he'll only want you if you don't really want him all that much.
- Once you've played a player, you'll be better at recognizing them in the future. Watch out for these cagey guys and protect your heart as you move forward in your love life.
- Remain humble. Don't let this accomplishment get to your head; although it does add an extreme boost to your confidence (you might start to think that you can get any guy you want or feel that you're "playing" some guys when they only look at you as a friend)the tables can turn quick if you get caught up (with other dudes). They might know the game a little better than you do.
Tips
- Do not accept each and every phone call from the player. Wean yourself from them by returning their calls a day or two later, so that it does not appear that the player still has control over you. When they ask why you do not answer your phone, simply tell them you were entertaining a friend.
- Maintain a very healthy dose of self-confidence.
- If you do not already do so; start a work out / diet routine. You'll look and feel better, which will add to your self-confidence and make you more attractive to the opposite sex...which will drive the player crazy that you're not relying on them / that you're branching out.
- If you don't feel you're having success, maybe you need to re-approach the situation. These things can take days, weeks, or months.
- Keep a good frame of mind, try not to get bummed out about what happened to you. Remember that you're doing something about this; that you're not going to sit there and "take" it. Your process of self-healing / revenge is a bit more complicated so the result is not immediate.
Warnings
- Don't think the player cares about you, loves you etc. They may and likely do like and care about you on some level; but it's not a genuine affection. They care about you because you are their source of entertainment. So separate your heart from you're interactions with this person.
- Don't spend too much time with them
- If you're having sex with this person; be safe. If they're playing you their probably playing others as well and you don't want to risk an STD.
- The key to this operation is that you are USING this person. Don't let your mind get clouded...this is not the same girl / boy you were dealing with before you found out they were playing you.
- Try not to spend time with them exclusively. Have someone else around so you show them that they don't get to monopolize your time.
- This doesn't always work on different people; experiment and see which method works best for each individual.
- The key to playing a player is to not get attached to them. DO NOT get emotionally attached to them or fall for them while you're playing them, because then they're in control and can hurt you.
