Forget About a Girl You Like
You can't stop thinking about a girl you like, and your obsession is keeping you from enjoying your life. You've tried everything but still can't get her off your mind. Though you may feel like you'll never be able to forget this special girl, relief may come sooner than you think if you follow these easy steps.
Contents
Steps
Understanding Your Problem
- Realize that you have to forget the girl. Before you can start to forget the girl, you have to recognize that it's time to stop thinking about her. You should stop denying that thinking about this girl is not only taking up a large chunk of your day and keeping you up at night, but that it's also making you absolutely miserable. Here's how to know you can't stop thinking about her:
- If you feel like you can't go five minutes without thinking about the girl.
- If you only end up thinking about the girl even more whenever you try to forget her.
- If you compare every girl you know or meet to the one you're thinking about.
- If you find it impossible to be interested in other girls, even if they show an interest in you.
- If you find yourself obsessively writing about the girl or drawing her face.
- If every song you hear reminds you of her.
- If you can't go more than a few hours without checking the girl's Facebook profile or Twitter feed.
- If you feel like you'll never be happy if you can't be with the girl.
- Figure out why you can't stop thinking about her. Once you've admitted you have a problem, you need to think about why you can't stop thinking about this particular girl. Understanding the root of your problem will help you find a solution. Here are some reasons why you're thinking about her:
- You have never met such an amazing girl in your life and are convinced there is no one else like her. She's so special that you have to have her. If this is the situation, tell yourself that you will be able to meet another girl that is even more special if you have patience.
- You are so unhappy with so many aspects of your life that you feel that this girl will solve all of your problems and will bring you true happiness. If this is the case, you should work improving other aspects of your life, such as your health or your relationships.
- You think this way about every girl you like. You jump from obsessing over one girl to the next. If this is the case, your obsessive thinking may be keeping you from enjoying your life or any future relationships.
- You're getting over a serious relationship. If this is the case, it may be even more difficult to stop thinking about the girl, but you'll be able to do it eventually. Before you do, you'll have to take the right steps to learn how to Fix a Broken Heart.
- Make a game plan. Once you've reflected on the reasons behind your obsession with the girl, you need to create a plan to stop thinking of her. You may feel that it will never be possible to forget her, but once you develop a plan and commit to execute it, you'll find that it's easier than you think. Here are some things to include in your plan:
- If you haven't done so already, cut off contact with the girl. If the girl is in your group of friends or in your class, try not to go out with your friends quite as much, or try to sit as far away from her as possible. But if you're only in touch with her because you keep talking to her, or if she talks to you just to taunt you, then cut things off. The less time you spend around her, the quicker you will be able to forget her.
- Don't stalk her on social media. Make a plan to stop looking at her Facebook page. If you check it all the time, make a goal to check it one time less each day, until you're able to go a day, or even a few days, without checking her profile at all. You can also take more extreme measures by ending your friendship on Facebook, or deactivating your Facebook account all together.
- Delete her phone number. If her number is in your phone, get rid of it. If you really need it for some reason, write it down and hide it away.
- At the end of each day, try to estimate how much time you spent thinking about her. Make a goal to think about her for thirty minutes less each day. Just note that this may be hard to track, and that if you're obsessing too much about how often you're thinking about the girl, your obsession may get worse.
- Set a date for when you will officially forget the girl. It could be a few months, or even a year away.
- Be patient. Before you start forgetting the girl, tell yourself that this will take time, and don't get frustrated if you can't stop thinking of the girl right away, or you feel like you're thinking about her even more when you first start executing your plan.
Spend Time With the People You Love
- Spend time with your family. It's important to spend time with as many people as possible to remind yourself that the girl of your dreams isn't the only other person in the universe. Maintaining a healthy relationship with your family will keep you grounded and from heading into a tailspin of obsessive thinking. Here's what you can do:
- If you live near or with your family, offer to help out around the house. You'll not only be helping your busy family members, but you'll feel more useful.
- Call home to check in as much as you can. Before you do, you can even jot down a few things to discuss to make sure that you can talk about things other than the girl.
- If you're close with your family, ask for advice. Hearing other people in your family talk about their ability to get over a past obsession will make you feel less alone, and like your goal isn't insurmountable.
- Spend time with your closest friends. Your closest friends can make you feel more loved and needed and can distract you from the girl you're always thinking about. Spend meaningful time hanging out with your friends, or attending concerts or movies with them, in order to take your thoughts off of your girl. Here's what to do:
- Find fun activities to do with your friends, such as canoeing, checking out a new restaurant, or training for a 5K together. Having tangible goals to reach together will keep from brooding when you're just sitting around talking to your friends.
- Open up to your friends. Without complaining about the girl of your dreams all the time, find a way to discuss your problem and see if they have any insight. If your friends know you're going through a hard time, they will try to hang out with you more and may even force you to get out of the house.
- If you're feeling too upset to leave the house, ask your friends to come over. If your obsession is so debilitating on some days that you don't even want to leave the house, ask your friends to come over with a box of pizza or an old movie---you're guaranteed to feel better just from being around them.
- Spend time with other girls. Even if you're not yet ready to see other girls romantically, don't underestimate the power of hanging out with your close female friends, or just being around the girlfriends of your friends. Here's how this can help:
- Think about what makes these particular girls so great. This will make you see that the girl you're thinking about isn't so unique.
- After a while, work on seeing other girls on their own terms, without comparing them to the girl you like all the time.
Stay Active
- Make a schedule for your day. Don't underestimate the power of a rigorous schedule. There's a good chance that you can't stop obsessing over the girl because you have too much time on your hands. Creating a schedule will keep you focused on what you have to accomplish and won't leave much time for idle thoughts. Here's what you should do:
- Create a plan for your mornings. Tell yourself that you have to go for a jog, read five newspaper articles, or accomplish another task by a certain time every morning.
- Create a plan for your days. Keep a schedule that includes time spent at work or in school, hanging out with your friends, and pursuing other interests. Check your schedule to make sure you don't have a lot of down time.
- Create a plan for your evenings. You may find that you have a lot of free time in the evenings after work or school, so make a goal to read a few chapters of a book, see a new movie, or hang out with your friends every evening so you don't end up staring at the girl's Facebook profile for hours instead.
- Improve other aspects of your life. If you're so hung up on a girl that you can barely function, chances are that this is because other areas of your life are lacking. Improving other parts of your life, such as your friendships or body image, will not only make you a happier person, but it will also take your mind off your girl. Here's what to do:
- Focus on your relationships. If you're having trouble with your friends or family members, try to work them out. You'll feel better because this will make you less alone.
- Work on your health. If you're obsessing over a girl, you may not having time to focus on your health, so try to exercise at least three times a week and focus on eating three balanced meals a day.
- Change your environment, if you can. If your room or home are in disarray because you've been too busy thinking about your girl to notice the mess, take some time to clean up or rearrange your furniture. Your life will feel less cluttered, and you will be refreshed from the process.
- If your general environment, such as your city or workplace, is making you deeply unhappy, then maybe your obsession with the girl is only part of the problem. If you can, change where you live or what you do. If you're in an environment that constantly makes you think of the girl, changing it may be a dramatic move, but it will ease your pain.
- Improve your ability to care for others. You may have become so focused on not having your girl that you've stopped looking at the world around you. Work on being a less selfish person by reaching out to volunteer in your community, or by helping your friends or family members accomplish a task, whether it's to fix a piece of furniture or paint a wall.
- Pursue a new interest. Doing anything out of your routine or comfort zone will make you feel like you're getting out of your rut. Any new interest you pursue will not remind you of the girl of your dreams and will make you feel like a more dynamic person. Having a new interest will also make you feel like a new-and-improved person and will give you something to look forward to. Here's what you can do:
- Take up traveling. Getting away from where you live can help you get out of your own head. If you can't afford to take a vacation, plan to take some weekend trips and invite your friends along.
- Express yourself. Take singing, improv, or dancing lessons. This will help you release your emotions and will also just be fun.
- Get hooked on a new writer. Lost love is a favorite topic in good literature, and if you discover a new writer who echoes your thoughts, you will feel less alone. Reading will make you a more interesting person---just make sure that reading doesn't make you feel more isolated. If you're reading a book, taking it to a park or a library so you're surrounded by people.
Be Ready to Move On
- Start dating again. Once you feel healthy enough to start dating other girls, it's time to put yourself out there. You can start dating again by asking out a new girl you like, asking friends to set you up, or creating an online dating profile. Here's what to do:
- Start slowly. When you go on a first date with a new girl you like, take it easy and have fun. Work on having a good time and be serious only when the time comes.
- Don't talk about your old obsession. Your new girl will be turned off, and you may look like a person with obsessive tendencies.
- Remind yourself that you're not likely to have the same feelings for the first new girl you try dating, but reward yourself for trying.
- Try to limit your obsessive behavior. It's wonderful that you're ready to move on, but you should work to make your next relationship different from the one you previously had with the girl you couldn't stop thinking about. Try to break the cycle of obsession and despair in the following ways:
- Don't get too attached right away. Though it's important to open yourself up to love and you can appreciate a new girl, try not to think about her all the time, or you'll get hurt if the relationship ends. Don't replace obsessing with one girl with obsessing with another, because you won't feel any better.
- Keep busy and active even if you found someone you really like. Even if you feel that you were able to forget the previous girl and truly like the new girl you're with, make sure to maintain a busy, active life and fit the new girl in it. If you devote all of your time to the new girl, you're setting yourself up for heartbreak.
- If it feels right, open yourself to love. As long as you're not being obsessive, it's okay to love again after a while. You shouldn't be so worried about not getting attached that you're unable to have strong feelings again.
Tips
- Try to laugh more. Watch comedies or hang out with funny people. Being able to laugh will help you put things in perspective and to see that when people say "it's not the end of the world," they really mean it.
- If you're drinking try not to get out of control.
- Do not message or call her to forget about her. You can delete her contact if you would like.
Warnings
- If nothing you do to forget the girl is working for a long period of time, and you don't feel that life is worth living without her, you may be suffering from depression and may need to seek professional help.
- Alcohol is not good for relieving your pain. While it may temporarily make you forget your girl, it will bring your emotions to the surface and may lead to an embarrassing meltdown in public.
- Sometimes we can not forget, especially loved people or if you feel guilty.
