Role Play With Your Lover or Spouse

Role playing with your partner can put a spark back into your relationship, and provide ways for you to fall for each other all over again. Try to get creative and don't be afraid to voice even your wildest fantasies - your partner will be very happy to make them come to life!

Steps

Planning

  1. Plan your erotic role play over several days or weeks. Great sensual and erotic role play requires some forethought. Having a few minutes of dirty talk just before you start having sex isn’t the same as setting out a sensual role play scene. Erotic role play can take you deeper into another character and release you from the restrictions you put on yourself in your daily life. It means more preparation, and more risks, but the difference is palpable, and worth it!
    • If either of you are planning this game as a surprise, book the entire day off work or play out the role on your day off. Check that your partner will at least have the evening off.
    • If you're planning the 'game' together, start the preparation a week before. Send each other naughty text messages. Look on-line for naughty or sexy hint pictures and e-mail each other. Start your very own on-line relationship. It's a fun way to share your desire for one another. When you're at home, you're probably too busy looking after the kids and doing household chores to take time to seduce each other so texting, e-mail and social network sites can be a fun way to spend time seducing each other.
    • If you're planning the event together and plan to go out of town or stay out for the night, arrange for the kids to spend the afternoon and night at granny or a friend, get someone to look after the pets, etc. Your erotic role-play evening is going to be hot and you're going to want to stay out all night. Your ordinary life will still be there when you get back the next day but the memory of your steamy night out will last forever.
    • For the partner that's planning to do most of the seduction, plan your seduction routine. Dating is a chase, plan it as such.
  2. Initiate the idea. Someone has to start or initiate the 'game'. Talk about it to each other and then help each other along. Start by talking about the idea and then begin sending your lover, husband or wife messages, clues and suggestions over a week or 2 and build up towards a sexy night out.
    • Starting is the hardest part but once the game gets going, you'll find that it develops a life of it's own.
    • If you're playing the 'John meets sexy stranger' game, and you've both agreed to meet at a particular restaurant, then the scenario could be started weeks in advance as a 'secret on-line' affair where you finally meet for the first time.
    • One partner begins by sending her a message as a secret admirer, male escort, call-girl, sexy co-worker or sexy stranger. The other partner responds and the game begins.
    • He could also create and advert for himself as a male escort offering his special services. He sends her an e-mail, she responds. If the response is positive (hopefully with some tongue in cheek) then the lines of erotic conversation are officially open.
    • If you're the lady who wants to seduce her partner or husband with the John/Call-girl game then create a sexy ad for yourself. Create an ad using a sexy pic of yourself or find one on-line. A picture of a pair of legs in sexy stockings with a catch phrase and a phone number. "Divine Honeymore wants to wrap her sexy legs around you. Text 555-35-22-56" The ad needn't be sleazy and needn't involve nudity or pictures of yourself. There are thousands of images on-line that can be copied into your very own high-class call-girl ad. Go as far as you're comfortable with.
    • Use a new e-mail address or create a new Facebook profile using your new call-girl, male escort, stripper or sexy stranger name.
  3. Overcome your shyness. Most people start out a bit shy and nervous with the idea of dressing up as someone else and playing a role. Much of this reticence comes from a lack of preparation. The best way to get comfortable with sexual role playing is to be prepared.
  4. Build up the anticipation. Don't talk about it to each other while doing the dishes, use e-mail and text messages. It's a fun and loving distraction to your day at work. Imagine receiving a sexy text message while you're sitting in a boring meeting or coming back from your lunch break to find a naughty e-mail from your lover.
  5. Pick a sensual role that feels right. Here are some possibilities:
    • Jane hires male escort James.
    • John hires call-girl Jenna.
    • Gina heads down-town to meet a man.
    • Tom finds Taryn on Facebook.
    • Dita the Dominatrix puts out an ad for a slave.
    • Nikki sends a naughty text message to John the stranger.
    • Angel the private dancer receives a text message.
    • Donna dresses to tease, Daniel pays attention.
    • Sara meets Stefan on a blind date.
    • Tina sings a sexy/romantic duet with Steve the Stranger at the Karaoke Bar.
    • Chris the photographer meets Gina the model.
    • Christine the photographer meets Paul the model.
  6. Consider the psychology of your role. Analyze your character. What’s your motivation? What turns your character on, what turns your partner on, what pushes your partner's buttons or drives him or her wild? Are you dominant? Submissive?
    • Details can take you deeper into a sensual role play scenario. When you first imagine a sexual scene the main points may be enough to get you started, but the more detail you can add to the game the more alive it becomes. Details can also be great for awkward moments when you don’t know what to do next.
    • Erotic role play is a perfect opportunity to dress up and have fun. Once you’ve decided on your role or character, think about ways to add to your character and role through clothing and props.
    • If you're planning the role together then chose clothing that will suit the scenario. Dress for the part and you're half-way there.
  7. Establish rules of engagement. The rules of engagement could be communicated via e-mail, social networking or text messaging during the 'on-line' dating phase. What are the boundaries? Set ground rules for your erotic role game. Some of these rules should be common sense and common courtesy, like no laughing or judging each other in the moment. Other rules will take some thought and good communication.
    • Couples could agree to keep the arrangements formal and business-like. He may make certain requests and she may do the same. He could specify that he wants a tall red-head, she could specify she doesn't do make out with men that have facial hair. If she's short and blonde, she'll have to dye her hair or wear a wig and tall heels. If he has a beard, he'll have to shave it all off. She's entitled to ask for a deposit to book her exclusive 'services'. She could use the deposit to go to the hair salon or purchase a wig and new shoes for her 'customer'.
  8. Make it a special event. Try to book an evening in a hotel that has a restaurant and bar or at least close by. If you don't have the budget for a fancy hotel, a decent roadside motel can work just as well. If you're shy or trying this fantasy role for the first time, then stick with a neat and simple hotel where you'll both feel comfortable.
    • If you're on a budget then at least prepare your bedroom for the steamy end to the evening.
    • Invite your partner to a 'blind date' - do something you wouldn't ordinarily do. Go to a Karaoke Bar, pick a song you both love and sing it together. Hang out at the bar like you've just met. Make out like it's your first time, take a cab home or to a hotel and finish what you started.
    • Invite your partner to meet you at a particular stall at a theme park, chat as strangers and go on all the scary rides together, share a milkshake, bump each other at the bumper cars, make out on the Ferris wheel, take a taxi to the nearest hotel (or to 'his/her' place) and complete the evening.
    • You've spent countless dinner evenings talking about the same topics, now is your chance to have a little fun and leave your ordinary world behind.
    • The game is less about the outcome of the evening - that's almost predicable and you've experienced the final outcome hundreds of times. Explore the art seduction (seduce or allow yourself to be seduced), with verbal foreplay (sensual innuendos) , teasing (touch, visual temptation).
  9. Use words to seduce your partner. Say your partner's name. Take time to explore the erotic art of talking. Throw in a bit of romance, think Pretty Woman. Make an evening of it.
    • Conversation and communication is just as important if not more important than the venue, outfit and activities.
  10. Plan your evening's activities. Anything can happen so take a few of your favorite sex toys and accessories. If you've planned the experience together with your partner, agree on tasks (example: who books hotel where) but keep the specific details secret from one another. Surprises are sexy.
    • He books the hotel, she books the restaurant or chooses the bar. Or, perhaps he books the hotel and chooses the bar, then sends a text message to the 'escort agency' requesting a woman matching his partner's description to meet him at a bar.
    • She arrives wearing something new and daring and the game begins.
  11. Keep a secret. If either of you don't know what the other has planned, the 'game' will be more exciting. Keep the venue details secret, send each other cryptic text messages. Use suggestive language, puns and quirky phrases.
    • This aspect involves a level of trust and respect for one another. Do not do things that you know your partner might feel uncomfortable doing. Ultimately, you're a loving couple so keep things clean and fun.
    • If you're both planning this for the first time, keep things simple. Don't overdo it. Pay attention to the little details and take the time to prepare a sexy treats for each other.
  12. Put a bit of effort into planning. Plan it like you would plan a skiing trip (transport, hotel, clothing, sports gear) but allow some room for spontaneity. Think about the restaurant or bar, your clothes, naughty activities for the evening, toys, accessories etc.
    • Plan an evening of varied activities. Move across different places as each place will lend itself to a different type of activity. Start out in a very public place and gradually move towards private places. At each place, the amount of physical contact will naturally increase.
  13. Make a point of going out. Role playing at home may be a bit awkward if you're not into playing games and dressing up. Going out, makes everything more tangible and exciting. If you're at a restaurant, you'll be forced to whisper your naughty talk.
  14. Try something new. The end of the evening should be the beginning of a totally new experience. She gives him a lap-dance, he goes down on her, both giving each other foreplay pleasures and holding out until the very end.
  15. Plan out the finale or at least explore various options. When you finally hit the sack will it be straight up missionary style or will you bring out the fireworks? Will Gina the stranger/call-girl treat John to a grinding lap dance or will she tie him and tease him.
    • Will John go all out to impress sexy stranger or his new lady client with his finest tongue and touch moves or will he submit to Sexy stranger's wild and kinky demands? If John is the male escort, he may need to think about some sensual massage techniques and other lady pampering treats.
  16. Think of the role playing game as a sexy drama. Establish the characters, set the scene, create moments of high drama, intense action and finally reach for the climax.
  17. If you're afraid you might bump into people you know, then you won't have such a hard time explaining what you're doing. You're on a hot date with your partner, no one will know what you're really doing…
  18. Spice things up a little by trying different roles - Trucker meets local pool-hall hustler. He dresses like a trucker with John Deere cap and all, she dresses like a gal out to hustle some cash from unsuspecting victims - tight jeans, tight button up top, heels or boots. You meet at a pool hall down-town. The game begins. Arriving separately, she sees him playing a game of pool with some other guy. she watches... later he introduces himself and she pretends like she doesn't really know how to play. He gives her a few tips and she shows him her moves. They go to a bar for a few drinks, grab a bite to eat at a diner then head off to the nearest motel.
    • For the ladies, if you're trying this for the first time or you're shy, then wear something that you're comfortable in but something that's still slightly revealing.
    • Only go with the trashy look if you're comfortable and confidant enough to wear extremely revealing clothing. Don't go out looking like a common street corner prostitute if you're not comfortable wearing the type of clothing that those girls wear. It may get you and your partner into trouble and you will probably draw attention to each other. That aspect of the role playing game are for couples that are confident or want to explore a more intense role-playing experience.
    • The trashy look is more suitable for a scenario where she waits on a street corner and her partner arrives in a car and picks her up. This scenario is quite easily played out but try building up tension and anticipation by taking the game further with a few drinks in a public place and perhaps dinner before heading off to bed. Be careful where you play this game out and don't step on anyone's turf.
  19. Ladies, take the day off and go to a spa for the morning. Get an all over massage, do your nails, get a bikini wax, cut your hair. Take time for yourself. If you feel great, playing the part will be a lot easier.
  20. If you have children, then work it out that he looks after them for the day and takes them to the grand parents so that she can enjoy a day to herself.
    • Choose a call-girl name for yourself. Example: Divine Honeymore or Gina Galore. If you're a sexy stranger or hiring a male escort, give yourself a new first and last name or modify your name. Jennifer Hughes could become Jenna H.
  21. Dress in layers and as the evening progresses, the layers come off - each time a little more revealing. Tease each other.
  22. Ladies, your outfit should include sexy underwear for when you finally arrive at the bedroom. If you're wearing suspenders and stockings, perhaps allow your partner to catch a glimpse of your thigh during the evening. A sexy push-up bra can enhance your cleavage and keep his attention focused on you.
    • Do your nails in a new color, put your hair up in a new style, wear a sexy new dress.
  23. Arrive at the hotel a few hours ahead of your meeting time and take the afternoon to relax and pamper yourself. Most hotels have a 2pm check-in time so make the most of it.
  24. You don't want to be getting ready at home - step out of your ordinary world and enter your new fantasy world for a day. Take a bath or long hot shower, have a glass of wine, read a book and relax.
  25. Prepare for your role. Make a list of things to talk about. Remember, you've never met this person before so talking about the kids, pets family etc. should not be on the agenda.
  26. If you're shy, practice what you're going to say. Take time to calm your nerves if it's your first time. There's really nothing to worry about. Your partner will love it. You're not doing anything dangerous, there's really nothing to it. Even if you don't manage to pull off the role of a classy call-girl, the worst that can happen is y the two of you end up in the hotel room for an evening of sweet love-making.
  27. Engage in little acts that distract your mind from your daily routines and troubles. A long hot bath, a good book (in this case, some light erotica) Print some erotic literature from Literotica.com.
  28. If your brain is still in overdrive, try breathing in and out, focusing on your breath. Replay your sexual 'greatest hits'. Home in on the silkiness of the sheets, the smoothness of your skin, or the taste of the dark-chocolate-dipped strawberries.
  29. This careful attention to sensual details will assist you with relaxing and easing into your role.
  30. Gentleman, dress the part. If you're planning the high-class call-girl scenario, then wear a suit and go with the hot CEO look. A guy in sneaker and trashy T-shirt wouldn't stand a chance with a 1000 dollar a-night call-girl.
  31. If the guy is playing the male escort role, then dress the part. Be handsome and charming, flattering and attentive.
  32. Look on-line for tips on how to treat your lady like a star. There are hundreds of sites dedicated to this.
  33. There's a lot to choose from but make sure you're comfortable in what you're wearing.

Setting the Scene

  1. Expect the unexpected. The restaurant or bar pick-up scenario allows for you to add an element of surprise and allows you both talk and build up an extremely erotic level of anticipation. If one person doesn't know what's about to happen and his/her partner is doing something out of the ordinary. You've planned the hotel, organized a babysitter, booked the restaurant and chosen your outfit. Time to turn up the heat.
  2. There are a number of scenarios to choose from. The following example assumes you're playing out a "John meets Call-Girl" role-play game. The same style or type of questions could also apply to "Jane hires Male Escort".
    • You've both spent a week or two sending each other naughty and cryptic messages and Saturday night has finally arrived.
    • Send your partner a text message with instructions on where to meet you and sign it off as your chosen character name.
    • Be as naughty and cryptic as you feel comfortable with. If it's your first time or if you're shy, then keep it simple and clean.
      • Example: Hi John, meet me at Kent's Bar on the corner 5th and 7th avenue for a hot evening you'll never forget. Love Gina Galore.
    • If you're feeling a little naughtier and really want to get his attention then maybe something a little more intense:
      • Example: Hi John, I'm longing to touch that hot thing in your trousers. I can't wait to meet you at Kent's Bar on the corner 5th and 7th avenue. I'll be the one at the bar wearing a red dress, sipping on a strawberry cock-tail. The secret question is: What was your favorite scene in Pretty Woman? Come - alone. Love Gina Galore, your call-girl for tonight, waiting in anticipation. 7pm sharp.
  3. Whatever you decide to do, make sure you're comfortable with it. Don't do something too risque if you're not comfortable trying to pull it off. Remember you're supposed to be having fun. Keep it fun and light and enjoy yourself.
  4. If you're playing out "Jane hires Male Escort" then you could keep things quite mild. Start off with dinner and a movie or theater and then move on to a bar for late night drinks where things will start heating up. Just choose the movie carefully. Think more along the lines of a sexy movie like "9 and a half weeks" or a risque art-house film. Stay away from the latest action packed movie.
  5. Scenario example: Jane the call-girl meets John
    • She sits on a stool at the bar counter, side view, legs crossed and orders a tall cocktail. She arrives 30 minutes to become comfortable with her surroundings and ease into her role.
    • When he arrives, pretend you don't know him or if you see him approaching, look the other way and allow him to make the first move.
    • Explain the 'rules' to him in a conversation-like manner. At this stage, there should be very little physical contact. Shake his hand and don't allow him to kiss you. Remember, you've just met each other. "Hi John, my name is Gina Galore. It's nice to meet you."
    • Order drinks and keep a slight distance.
    • If doesn't know that you are playing this role and if it's a first for both of you, then start by hinting at what you're doing. Don't allow him to talk too much. You need to establish the scene and suggest to him that he plays along. He has come to this bar because he called an 'agency' and arrange to meet with a call-girl.
    • "John, I'm so glad you called the agency today."
    • "My mistress never told me I'd be meeting such a (handsome man, cute guy, hot stud) tonight."
    • "Have you ever been on a date with an escort John?"
    • Well John, I'm not cheap but you'll see, I'm worth every penny. But let's forget about that for a while, let's talk about you.
    • Start by asking questions about what he does for a living, favorite sport, movie, music etc.
      • That should be easy for you since you already know the answers. If you're lucky and he begins to play along, then perhaps he'll spice up the answers a little and create his own character. If you've planned a dinner, now would be the time to go to the dining area. If not, then carry on with your game at the bar. Turn the heat back on and start talking about yourself.
    • Tell him what you did this afternoon.
    • "John, I had a lovely long bath this afternoon. I just lay there sponging myself, dripping warm water over my naked body."
    • "I love being naked John, it's so liberating."
    • "This morning I went to the Spa. I really love my new bikini wax. I had my hair cut too. Do you like it John?" You can start touching him now. Slide your foot against his leg. Touch his hands.
  6. As you talk, touch your hands.
  7. Talk about your body while looking into his eyes if you're confident enough to so.
  8. If you're shy and feel embarrassed talking about yourself, do so while looking at your hands, or look at your hand touching his. It sometimes helps if you're not making eye contact.
  9. Try to talk about the sexy aspects of your day. Even if you burst out laughing, his attention will still be focused on you.
  10. Go with the flow. If you burst out laughing, then that's fine too. Go with it. Be more daring then. If you're the laughing type then use it to your advantage. Work your laughs into your routine.
  11. Try to be yourself within the confines of your role because it'll feel and be more natural.
  12. Dressing up for the part does help in the role transformation and it gives you both something to talk about and focus on.
  13. Draw his attention towards you. Build up his desire for you. He'll be dying to run his hands through your hair, caress your silky smooth legs and see your new bikini wax. Your sexual partnership is part of a bigger whole - your relationship, all you have to do is talk. This does not need to be a serious discussion - it should simply be a fun discussion. Think of it as a sexual brainstorming session.
  14. Start off with a few questions on the more innocent end of the sexual spectrum.
    • "Have you ever tied anyone up or been tied up?"
    • "Do you own any sex toys?"
    • "What is something you've always wanted to try?"
  15. If you're playing John meets stranger, then John should be promising her the world - love, romance, everything.
  16. Move on to more risque topics of conversation. Think of truth or dare type questions but without the dare (or with the dare - if you dare). Take a list if you think you'll forget and spin it into your role.
    • "John, I have a list of questions for you. I just need to know a little more about you."
    • "The questions I'm about to ask may be very naughty, are you okay with that John?"
    • If you've both planned the game together, then you should each prepare separate questions and spin it into the story.
    • "Gina, I have a list of questions for you, just to be sure we'll be compatible. Do you mind if I ask you some questions of a very personal and sexual nature?"
    • The questions you ask should be ones you probably already know the answers to or ones that won't cause either of you embarrassment or lead to arguments or distrust.
    • If you know he's had many partners in the past and you're the jealous type, now is not the time to ask "How many girls have you slept with?"
    • If you're in a relationship where nothing is taboo and you both freely and easily communicate and talk about sex then you shouldn't have any problems with this topic of conversation.
    • If you're shy and more romantic, then ask questions that you're comfortable asking. Don't do anything that you're not comfortable with.
  17. Center the conversation and questions about the two of you. Don't involve other people.
    • "So John, what would you do if I were to place my hand on your trousers?" "Is your member standing to attention John?"
    • "Would you like to see me undressed, John?"
    • "What do you fantasize about when you masturbate?"
    • "John, I have a secret to tell you, I'm not wearing panties"
    • "John, 3 guesses, what color are my panties" Once he's taken a guess, reach into your bag and take out a pair of panties.
    • "You were wrong/correct - they're pink".
    • Then discretely hand over your panties to him. He doesn't need to know you're still wearing panties (if you are) but you've planted a very sexy seed in his mind... Tease, tease, tease.
    • "This afternoon, in the bath, while thinking of you, I began to touch myself."
    • "Would you like to see me touch myself?"
    • If he answers yes, then oblige by running the tips of your fingers along your hand, up your arm, across your breast, down your chest and under the table. Leave it there for a while. You don't need to do anything else. "Maybe later John, let's order another drink"
    • Have a few sips of your drink, look him in the eyes and hand him your panties: After that, he won't be able to think of anything but his all-access pass.
  18. Talk in a fun, sexy way. Communication is key, and if you get nervous and clam up, just remember who you're talking to: someone who knows you very well and, above all, who loves you and is already attracted to you.
    • Talking with some sensual teasing by using the power of suggestion (especially with some dirty talk) can be as great as the sex itself. If you can, describe how you want to touch each other, where, and with which of your body parts.
  19. Keep the questions and answers in the realm of fantasy. Approach topics like they're new for both of you even if you know the answers. Think of something you've never tried before and suggest that you try it together. Level the playing field, let inhibitions go and get wild. Act like experts in the subject of naughty loving.
    • If your lover asks a question that he or she knows is ridiculous, something he or she knows you've never done or would never do then answer as if you were your character.
    • Example: Gina, have you ever had a threesome? Gina might answer: "Yeah John, I love it when my friend Jenna joins in the fun. Or "I've tried it once with two guys, but I'm more of a one-on-one kinda gal. There's not enough of me to go around and I like to focus all my attention on the person I'm making love to."
  20. Heat up the answers. They don't have to be true, you're both playing a game, have fun with it. If you've both planned the game, you'll both be giggling at each others naughty answers.
    • "Gina, would you like to be tied up and blindfolded while I make love to you?" "Depends how much you're willing to part with, John"
  21. Encourage your partner to participate. If your partner knows that you've replied to a question with a false answer, for the sake of fantasy, then play along.
  22. Follow each others lead.
    • If your partner poses mild questions, don't follow the conversation with a question or statement that's too naughty.
    • If your partner moves on to more risque questions and statements, then it's your turn to follow.
    • If you're playing the man picking up a call-girl at a bar, the chances of you being prudish would be slim - unless it's your first time. Then you might play a shy character. In reality, if it was your first time, you would expect the call-girl to make all the first moves. If that's the scenario, then it's up to the call-girl character to initiate or lead the conversation with most of the questions.
    • If you're in a scenario where your lover has prepared a scenario, then simply go with the flow and play the part. Enjoy the experience, explore the paths it leads to.
  23. If you need to touch yourself or partner while talking, avoid touching private parts. Instead, focus on mouth and hands, neck, wrists, inner thighs, lower back and ears.
  24. Take a moment to look around you. Look at all the people in the bar or restaurant. None of them are talking about the things the two of you are talking about. No one has a clue what you're up to. You're both sitting in a bar or restaurant and you're on steaming with sexual tension and anticipation - ready to explode.
    • Erotic role play can be very exposing, which makes it both hot and a little scary. There's very little to worry about, simply do it in an unobtrusive way, calling no attention to yourselves and simply enjoying the erotic ambiance you privately create together.
  25. Other ideas for conversation topics:
    • Add a sexy twist to some of your favorite sexual memories and talk about them like they were wild flings with other people.
    • Recount a great sexual experience with your 'real partner' but pretend it was one of your wild 'collage era' one-night-stands.
    • Recount the time you both sneaked off for a quickie in the bathroom at a friend's house party but change each others names. "John, I once made love to a male stripper in the bathroom at a friend's bachelorette party. We kept most of our clothes on and f***ed each other against the wall and over the bath, it was so hot and sexy, we couldn't keep our hands off each other". or recount a time when your partner performed a striptease for you, "Gina, I've slept with a stripper before. I hired her for a private show. She was so hot, great body and such a tease. She ended the show with the best booty grinding I've ever had. She loved it too and stayed over. We made wild passionate love to each other and the next day she was gone."
    • Phone sex, describe how you once called a phone sex line or what you did as a phone-sex operator.
    • Camera posing. Describe how you once photographed someone in the nude or how you were once photographed.
    • Cyber sex. Imagine you're far away from your lover and discuss how you would imitate real sex in a cyber environment?
    • Discuss your Fetishes - if you don't have any, adopt one. Leather, lace, shoes, feet. "John, I have a fetish for leather paddles. I love the feeling of a light leather paddle on my buttocks".
    • Biting and spanking - love it or hate it.
    • Talk about a fantasy, if you don't have one, invent one - tame or wild "I'd love to make love on the deck of a private yacht out at sea." or "I've fantasized about making love in a …"
  26. Time for dessert…

Making the Exit

  1. If you're in the call-girl or male escort scenario, now's the time to leave the restaurant and head up to the hotel room for desert. Tell your partner you need to go to the bathroom. Make sure you can sneak out without him/her seeing you. Sit in the lobby (or head up to the room if you've booked it) and send another text message.
  2. Dessert is ready... On the menu, banana split 25 dollars, strawberry lap grind 50 dollars, A slice of heaven 100 dollars.
  3. If you want time to slip into something more comfortable then suggest that he or she gives you the key to his room together with your fee.
  4. Build up anticipation and tease some more by telling him to wait for your next message before coming up to his room.
    • Perhaps you could ask the waiter to deliver a note to after 10 minutes with your sexy 'menu' and on the corner, a cherry lipstick kiss. The possibilities are endless, the result will be great.
  5. If you're in a scenario that you both planned, then move on to your next destination - back his or her place for a 'night cap' or, the nearest 7-11 to pick up some ice-cream before heading off to the nearest motel for desert with a happy ending, or the car or pick-up truck, or where ever you've agreed or planned to go to for the grand finale. Better yet, agree that either he or she decides what to do next or where to go. Be creative, think of somewhere new that you've both never been to.
  6. Grand finale suggestions:
    • Pretend you've never had sex together before, "retrain" your partner exactly how you want to be touched. Take turns being student and teacher with gentle guidance.
    • Have sex blindfolded
    • Over the kitchen counter or hotel writing desk
    • Pose for the camera (remember to delete pictures afterwards)
    • Get tied up (be sure to have a safe word!)
    • Put on a white or light-colored shirt or shorts and head off to the shower for a wet T-shirt show then invite him in for…
    • Put The Dom in Dominatrix
    • Car sex
    • Be watched while you put on a sexy show
    • Give a hand job with your non-dominant hand
    • Have sex in a hot tub
  7. Remember foreplay.
  8. Remember to tease.
  9. Remember to please each other.
  10. Try a new sex position or try out many new sex positions.
  11. Use toys and props.

Tips

  • Role-playing is best performed by loving couples. Know your partner's boundaries and limits. Do not do things you're not comfortable with. Don't do something to please your partner if it will cause you harm or dissatisfaction.
  • You should both be willing to adhere to some basic rules:
    • No laughing at your partner for something they say or do.
    • Avoid judgment. There is nothing wrong with having preferences, and you’ll never be okay with everything your partner wants to do, but you should learn to say no without putting your partner down.
    • Either partner can stop a scene or game at any time. Erotic role play can be intense, and it can bring up feelings that may be surprising. It’s important to remember that it’s a game, and the point is to have fun, and if either person isn’t feeling okay at any point they need to be able to stop everything and have their needs attended to.
    • The rules of engagement could be communicated via e-mail, social networking or text messaging during the 'on-line' dating phase.
  • Dress for the part and the venue.
  • Tips for Guys: A sexy cologne, silk boxers, a mani & pedi, male grooming. Clean, crisp underwear. Don't answer your mobile phone or take it out to check the time or text messages. Clean hands and nails. The swagger to be proud of the gal you're with. Make a decision. Give her a compliment. Show her your appreciation
  • Tips for Ladies: A woman with confidence in herself is sexier than anything she could buy at a store.Easy tricks of the trade:
    • Red lipstick that looks good with your skin tone
    • Forget the micro-mini. If you really want to put on a leg and booty show, try a pencil skirt.
    • An eye-catching LRD (little red dress) or little black dress
    • Pair of back-seam stockings Stockings with Garter Belts or sexy Hold-Ups. They come in so many fun varieties: with seams or without, lacy or plain, pink, red, black, white…
    • Legs in a pair of hold ups are fetching when paired with mile-high heels.
    • Don a wig of a different hairstyle or color.
  • Some questions to consider regarding ground rules and boundaries for erotic role play:
    • What kind of sex do you want to have?
    • Are there some things you don’t want to do in a role play, or other things you would only want to do when dressed up as someone else?
    • How can you let your partner know if things aren’t going okay or if you need to take a break. Work out a sign or word that you can use to check in with each other?
    • How far are you willing to take the role play? Are you comfortable letting it flow without a set ending, or do you want to agree beforehand on how the scene or game will finish?
    • Can you ask your partner for what you need?
  • If you're both planning a sensual role playing game together, then talk about boundaries. Be willing to compromise for the sake of the game. Example "I won't stand on a street corner but I'll wait for you at Kent's bar wearing something hot" or "I'll meet you a Miles Jazz Bar where we can dance the night away to sexy rhythm and blues.
  • Step out of your daily self and your ordinary world and into someone new in a fantasy world. There's plenty of time to be ordinary.
  • Planning and preparation are important. Take some time to plan what you're going to talk about, what you're going to wear, where you will meet. The more surprises, the more interesting the game will be.

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