Text Message Someone You Like

Getting your crush's number was likely already a challenge but trying to figure out what to text them now that you have it may seem equally intimidating. When text messaging someone you like, start by greeting them with a friendly question, like "What are you up to?" From there, keep the focus on them while maintaining a playful tone, and try not to seem too desperate about keeping the conversation alive if your crush is trying to end it or keep things short.

Steps

  1. Greet the person respectfully. Everyone loves the phrase "what's up", but honestly, it's gotta go. Because those of you who use it, what's the answer you always get? "Nothing much, you?" or "nm u?". So think outside of the box, and try something more along the lines of "What are you up to?" "Whatcha doing?" Something playful that will catch their attention. They may answer something like "Hanging out", which is perfectly okay, because at least you know that they're hanging out and not dying in the void of "not much"-ness.
  2. Don't be desperate. If you text her and she doesn't respond, be patient. Don't text her again or ask her if she got your text. Play it cool; otherwise you will look needy.
  3. Understand that most people will not put anything more in a text message than they need to, especially if they don't know you like them, or if they don't have feelings for you. Just deal with it for now, because sometimes they may be interested in you and are just shy, or they don't have very good typing skills on their phone.
  4. End the texting well. You have to excuse the single-lined "lol" text messages that may come. If the conversation comes to a halt with one of these, just stop it right there. If you reply afterwards with something like, "So... That paper we had to write last week was really hard," you might seem a bit desperate, so just end it right there. If you two are closer, like friends, you may want to say goodbye first, like "I'm gonna go listen to music. ttyl?" If not yet, just end it. Seriously, it's always annoying when you desperately want the conversation to end, but it never does because they won't leave you alone.
  5. Try to be the first one to say goodbye. It leaves the other person possibly wanting more. Try to recognize when the conversations are slowing down so that you can be the first one to cut it off. She/he will love you for this eventually, because bad, lazy conversations usually end in bored pauses and no actual interesting points.
  6. Do not bother the other person. Unless it's a fantastic day where you're both flirting and having a great time texting each other, never start a conversation more than twice a day.
    • Moreover, never, ever try to keep talking after they've stopped the conversation. This is considered annoying and is often disliked in most cultures.
  7. Every once in a while, it's okay to ask them if you're being annoying, like if you suspect they may be doing work or writing an essay when you text them. Only ask this when they say something that might mean that they're busy or need to concentrate
    • For example, if they say they're working on an essay for English, you can say "Just let me know if I'm distracting you, I don't want to bother you." This they can reply to politely. If to this they reply that they'll text you back later, don't expect them to. If after an hour or two they don't, don't freak out. Just let them text you when they want to.
  8. Don't use Follow Internet Etiquette too much. Using constant chat speak is seldom attractive. It's okay to use it among regular conversation, but never compose your entire text of all chatspeak.
    • Remember to blend to their style. For example, if they use "idk" often enough, but they prefer to speak in actual words, try it. They probably speak like this because they don't like chatspeak, and it would make it easier for them to talk to you if you use their form of dialogue. It goes the same way for people who speak in all chatspeak, try their language if you haven't already.
  9. Acknowledge that it's always about them. The title says it all. It's all about the other person. Remember that people LOVE to talk about themselves, and this benefits you too because you'd be finding out more about them. Ask them questions, like "what do you like to do?" or "do you play any sports?" However, you must wait until you know them a bit before you start asking these questions.
    • Perhaps during the third text conversation, begin questioning about their personality and interests. After a few questions, just let them know that you're kinda bored or whatever and want to know what they're into anyway, so that's why you're asking so many questions.
    • In a conversation, it is also pretty crucial not to creep them out, so try to veer into a conversation after one of the questions, like "What sport do you play?" -"I fence." -"Oh, that's cool! I've always wanted to do that, but I never got to." -"It's a lot of fun, you should try it." -"What's it like?" Etc., etc. Even if you're not interested, try to make it seem like you are.
  10. For the girl: Sometimes, it may seem like the guy should always start the conversation. No, you're the one interested. Granted, you shouldn't text him every single day; try every other day or every few days, giving him a chance to initiate as well. Maybe he likes talking to you, who knows.
    • Also, never act like an obsessive one. Don't immediately flirt with him the moment you text him, pretend that he's another girl that you just met and want to be friends with, and after a while flirt a little, and as everything progresses, flirt some more.
  11. For the guy: Nobody likes a player, so just get to know her before you decide if you really do like her. She could be pretty and have an absolutely horrendous personality, so just try talking to her in person as well as texting her to see who she really is. Flirt with her once you've actually decided that you like her.
  12. Be interesting! "Hey." "hi." "What's up?" "Nothing much. you?" "Same." "Yep." "We won our Hockey game, yesterday." "Congrats." "Thanks." ... No. Fill your conversation with color! Act like you're genuinely excited to talk to this person, you're happy to!
    • Saying "Hey! Whatcha doing?" will save you a text, in case you have limited texting. Always have a backup topic to start, such as "So, Merry Christmas! Did you get anything good?" Or "I can't believe it's already 2014."
    • Or "Any idea what the word 'zyzzyva' means? I just found out and wanted to know if you did ;)" Be someone fun to talk to! And overall, be someone reliable, so that they won't be afraid to say, "Can you help me out...?" when they need someone. Trust is key in a relationship.
  13. Be Funny, Playful, and a little cocky. Text things like “Hey! Stop thinking about me! :P” or “I just made you look at your phone for no reason… looks like I got you in check =]”
  14. Do not text any of the following messages: “hey” “how are you?” “what’s up” “how was your weekend?” “what”s going on?” “hope you're have a great day!”. Be more creative, these are common messages that everyone gets all the time. It gets boring quickly so text something more interesting to differentiate yourself.

Tips

  • Don't text the a bunch of times if they don't answer you right away. Text them once and wait until they're ready to answer. Don't annoy them.
  • If you disagree with something above, don't use it. Trust your instincts too, they may end up working better.
  • Be happy. Make sure you sound optimistic in your message.
  • Don't act stalkerish and don't ask too many questions.
  • Make yourself interesting if the other person asks you a question. Example: "What have you been doing?" Talk about interesting things you have done. And make sure you are creative with your texts.
  • Don't text too often or they will get creeped out.
  • If they like a good laugh. Send 'em funny pictures & make some inside jokes.
  • Mention things that they might've told you already, and go off on that.
  • Keep it short and sweet.
  • Don't talk about the same stuff all the time. She/he might think you're boring!
  • Don't sound desperate. If she doesn't reply, wait. Maybe she/he's busy. Don't bug her/him with another message.
  • Try to make texts that make him feel comfortable with you and comfortable texting you. If you make him/her feel awkward, you will turn him/her off.
  • Don't start a conversation more than twice a day, they tend to get creeped out. Learned from experience!
  • Don't do more than three messages in a row.
  • Be sure to use lots of punctuation. This will tell the person you care about them, and also that you have a lot of time to spend. E.G. " I'm going to a football game, wanna come?? It'll be fun, especially with me!!
  • Don't think they don't like you if they don't respond immediately, it just means they might be busy or something just came up. Don't over-think it.
  • Don't be nervous. If they don't answer right away, stay patient.
  • Don't use too much foul language. They might think you are holding a grudge against them.
  • If he doesn't text you back, don't over think it and get nervous. Don't message him constantly sounding nervous.Because he will think that you are a depressed person. And usually people like to talk with people who are happy and cheerful. Everything will turn out fine. If he doesn't want to talk to you, he will tell you that.
  • Always use humor if you are a guy. Girls love humor.

Warnings

  • Do not talk about other people you've liked, or that you're interested in. This could throw them off, make them a bit disappointed if they were interested.
  • Do not tell them that they're hot. If such a situation arises that you might want to say something like this, tell a girl that she's "pretty", "beautiful", or "cute". Tell a guy that he's "cute" or "attractive". Pretty much anything that doesn't suggest that you want in their pants.
  • Be careful what you text. If you send filthy texts, they might not be appreciated. Aim for cheeky and playful after you know one another better, not dirty and rude.

Things You'll Need

  • Cell phone with texting (Unlimited is definitely preferred!)

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