Ask a Girl Out

Asking a girl for a date should be easy. All you have to do is ask, right? But it's not always that simple if you're shy or nervous. At some point though, you're going to have to step up and be bold, or forever be left to wonder what would have happened. Read these guidelines, draw some courage and ask her out.

Steps

Before Your First Contact

  1. Gauge her interest. Is she making eye contact with you? Is she smiling, laughing and having a good time talking to you? If so, you're on the right track. What if she keeps looking at you because she's annoyed with you always looking at her? This is not a good sign, and the girl might be a little stressed herself. Make sure to keep your feelings about her private, and not so obvious.
  2. Notice how often she touches you. If she's constantly trying to touch your hand or finds excuses to do so, then she's probably interested. However, don't assume that she doesn't like you if she isn't touching you. Likewise, don't start touching her if she isn't making contact with you. This usually scares or intimidates girls. If she won't even look at you, stay calm and find excuses to talk to her.
  3. Observe how she looks at you. If she likes you, she will either hold your gaze for a long time or pull away immediately. Either of these signs could mean that she likes you. If you happen to glance at the girl and you see her staring back at you, then this means that she doesn't like you, or she does like you, although she may quickly dart her head in a different direction. If she's looking at you in a mean way, check your teeth. If she pulls away quickly, it could mean she is nervous but still likes you.
    • Remember that if you are having a conversation, girls tend to look at your face, so don't immediately assume that she likes you if you are speaking and she is simply listening. If you never talk to the girl, chances are you have a low chance of dating her. Friendships lead to love, but non-friendship leads to.... nothing.

Interact With Her

  1. Look directly at her. While talking, make sure to look at her face and specifically her eyes. Pay attention to what she is saying so that when she asks you something or stops talking, you can continue the conversation intelligently. Don't get caught staring at her body (especially her breasts). Very few women like this. If she doesn't look at you or she ignores you, back off, and leave her alone for a little. Some girls don't like looking boys in the eyes and talking. Read her body language.
  2. Help her out. Offer to carry something heavy, get her lunch at the office, or do something nice for her. If she refuses, then wait until she really needs help or comforting, like when she's feeling down and having a bad day. Be friendly and outgoing to her. If she walks away quickly, don't follow her or say, "What??", just keep on going.

Pop the Question

  1. Make sure you look and smell nice. You don't need to get decked out in a suit and tie to ask a girl out, but make sure your clothes are clean and well-fit, that you've brushed your teeth and are wearing deodorant. You should never ever wear the same clothes again, like you wear red sweatpants Monday, and then you wear them again on Tuesday.
  2. Approach the girl you like. Don't worry about coming up with something overly clever. Simply say "Hi" or "Hey." As the conversation moves forward you can give her a complement or ask her a question.
  3. Keep the tone casual and fun. Don't make the occasion seem like a big deal. Flirt a little! Relax, crack a joke, and break the touch barrier.
  4. When the time is right, ask her for a date. Ask her to go the movies or something else you both would be interested in. You could also invite her out to happy hour at a bar you both enjoy. Try to make it original.
    • You might say: "I heard about this movie, _______. What do you think about it?" If she says she thinks it looks good, ask her if she'd like to go with you to see it. If she asks "As in a date?" say yes. Girls like guys who are sure of themselves much better than they do the cowardly guys.
    • Another thing you might say while keeping the tone casual is: "I was going to check out this art opening on Saturday night. Do you want to go with me? I think it would be fun if we both went together."
  5. Be confident. If she questions if you're asking her on a date, say yes. Girls like guys who are sure of themselves.
  6. Be prepared for rejection. Keep your cool if she says no, smile and respond gracefully by saying, "No problem! Maybe another time." Change the conversation to something else or leave if you'd rather not hang around. Act as if you don't need her, because that sometimes will pique the interest of a girl. If she makes a face and yells, "Oh my gosh, no way!" this means that the girl is grossed out with you. Leave her alone and move on to another girl. Don't get your feelings too hurt though, this will leave you lifeless. Some girls just don't like this kind of stuff.

Additional Ideas

Doc:Ways to Ask Someone Out,First Date Ideas,Ways to Handle Rejection

Test Your Knowledge

Quiz:Ask-a-Girl-Out

Tips

  • Ask her out when you both are alone. Having others around will put pressure on her to say yes or no and you want her true answer.
  • Remember that every girl is different and these tips do not apply for every girl so use your own judgment too.
  • Being relaxed and confident is the difference between a comfortable silence and an unbearable silence. It's natural to have breaks in the conversation. Don't sweat it. She's probably nervous too.
  • Don't be afraid of rejection. Most girls have big hearts and will let you down very easily, if at all. Some girls will agree to go on one date just because you asked and they're being nice. Don't take it the wrong way. It simply means she likes you enough to not hurt your feelings but not enough that she's ready for a relationship.
  • Ask her out directly. Asking by e-mail or social media outlets like Facebook will be seen as impersonal. Most girls will admire your confidence if you are not arrogant about it.
  • When you approach the girl, try to start the conversation by saying, "Hey, can I talk to you?" or "Can I ask you something?" You want your conversation to be as smooth as possible.
  • To increase your chances of having her say yes when you ask her out, you need to exhibit the characteristics that she wants. If you appear attractive to her before you ask her out, there will be a lot less pressure on you when you do work up the courage.
  • If you tend to date around a lot, then a girl might get turned off for you being a player. Girls tend to go out with guys that can be trustworthy and can keep a relationship. The worst thing for a girl is when a guy asks her out and then breaks up with her quickly.
  • Sometimes girls can be nervous when guys approach them. If they bite their lip, look away, blush a lot or show any signs of nerves, give them time to think about it. After two or three weeks, casually ask again and they may say yes.

Warnings

  • Don't assume they are giving you signs. If a girl is being friendly, it doesn't always mean she is into you. She could be a normally friendly person trying to be nice by actually talking to everyone.
  • Your chances of being rejected rise if you don't ask the girl out directly. Avoid e-mail, phone or Facebook/Twitter to ask someone out.
  • Be persistent, but not too persistent. If she turns you down gently, then she's politely telling you she's not interested. If she flat out refuses, back away. You don't want any girl to think you're a stalker.
  • When finding a girl that you feel like you want to ask out, watch out for the signs on how she reacts towards you. If she seems really clingy, even if you are not even going out, this is a red flag to stay clear. If you ask her out, watch to see how she reacts to it. Some girls will overreact to things that are so small.
  • You do not always need to have a friendship with a girl before you can ask her out. You can walk up to any girl on the street or in a cafe and ask her for a date. Just make sure that you impress her first.

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Sources and Citations

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