Know if a Girl Likes You

She glances your way, laughs at your jokes, and acts nervously around you. You’re not sure if she’s flirting, being friendly, or is simply uninterested. Whether you’ve had a crush on a girl for ages and are dying to know if the feeling is mutual or you just want to know if she likes you for curiosity’s sake, there are a few nearly foolproof ways to tell whether a girl likes you or not.

Steps

Understanding Body Language Cues

  1. Look at her stance. When a girl likes you, she will face in your direction. If a girl has her torso turned towards you in an open manner, this means that she is confident talking with you. If she has a closed body position, namely crossed arms or legs, she may be shy or nervous to talk to you or she may simply be creating a barrier to signal that she is uninterested.[1]
    • When she is sitting with her legs crossed, watch her feet. If they are pointed towards you, it might mean that she likes you and wants to get closer to you.[2]
  2. Pay attention to eye contact. If a girl likes you, she will tend to either hold her gaze on you for a few seconds or glance down the moment your eyes make contact with hers. Either of these responses could mean that she likes you. If she pulls away quickly, it often means she is nervous or not ready to reveal her true intentions yet, but she may still like you.
    • When a girl likes you, her pupils might dilate, though this will be hard to tell.[3]
    • If you happen to glance at the girl and you see her staring back at you, this could mean that she likes you.
  3. Take context into account. The way you interpret a girl's body language will vary depending on the context. For example, if you're talking one-on-one with a girl, her touching your arm for a few seconds could be considered flirting. However, if she quickly taps your shoulder to get your attention and tell you that your friend is looking for you, she may really just be trying to help, not flirt.
    • If you are having an intense conversation, a girl may look at you without breaking eye contact. This does not necessarily mean she likes you. It could just be a conversational practice of hers. However, if she makes eye contact with you for an extended period of time without talking, or if she looks at you and breaks away the minute you look back at her, she may be intrigued by you.
  4. Notice if she touches you or tries to get closer. When a girl likes you, she will often try to touch you, as this is a noticeable yet still subtle way to flirt. It allows a girl to size up how responsive you are. She may touch your arm when you say something funny, “accidentally” brush your shoulder or hands with hers, or gently place her hand on your knee.
    • Not all girls will feel comfortable reaching out using touch. In this case, don't assume that she doesn't like you just because she doesn't try to touch you. She may be too nervous to do so. If you like her, don't be shy––break the touch barrier yourself and see how she responds.
    • She may also find other reasons to touch you, such as softly punching your arm. These "one-of-the-mates" moves can be a thinly disguised way of getting closer to you without it being too evident to your friends and hers.
  5. Pay attention to whether she randomly hugs you. This is especially significant if her random hugs are reserved mostly for you. Hugs are a friendly, affectionate way of getting closer to you and touching you without it necessarily compromising her stealthy flirting skills. Return the hug if you like her back, or gently refuse her hug if you don’t want her to get the wrong impression.
  6. See if she mirrors your moves. If a girl imitates you - for example, if you run your fingers through your hair and you notice her do the same a few seconds later - she may be subconsciously mirroring your movements. This can be a tell that she likes you.[4]
  7. Notice if she’s playing with her hair. Gently twirling strands of her hair or partaking in other grooming behaviors like running her hands through her hair could be signs of flirting.
  8. Look for signs of nervousness or fidgeting. When a girl likes you, she will touch her lips, collarbone, or neck to draw your attention to these areas. She may even apply lipstick in front of you.[2]
  9. Notice if she smiles around you. This may be her way of signaling to you that she’s comfortable and happy in your presence. When a girl likes you, she may also laugh at your jokes (regardless of how funny they actually are).

Picking up on Other Signs of Flirting

  1. Be receptive to compliments. If a girl compliments you, she could very well like you. This may be her way of making you feel desired.
    • She might say things like “you have amazing eyes” or “you’re so athletic - do you play any sports?”
  2. Observe her friends’ reactions. If you see most of her friends glancing back at you and smiling or giggling, this probably means that she has told her friends about you and they're "in the know." In some cases, a friend may actually be bold enough to come and tell you that her friend likes you.
    • When she is having a conversation with her friends and you come over, they might stop talking all of a sudden. This likely means that you were the subject of the recently ended conversation.
  3. Notice her style. When a girl likes you, she will often try to impress you with her style. She may choose to wear slightly revealing clothes or put on lipstick to catch your eye.[5]
    • Every girl has a different sense of style, and not all girls will try to dress as aforementioned when they like somebody. However, if you notice that the girl you’re wondering about dresses a little more nicely around you, it could be a sign that she wants to impress you.
  4. Be mindful of gentle, friendly teasing. When a girl likes you, she may tease you lightly about certain things you do or say. Ways of teasing include calling you out on a joke that actually wasn’t that funny, poking fun at something you’re wearing, or lightly telling you that you’re trying too hard.
  5. Notice if she makes excuses to talk to you. She may “friend” you on social media, talk to you in person every day after class, or text you randomly. These could be signs that this girl is intrigued and wants to get to know you more.
    • This alone is not a definitive sign that a girl likes you. A girl who just wants to be friends may also try to engage in conversation with you. But if a girl tries to talk to you often, exhibits a number of flirty body language cues, and compliments you often, she may be trying to tell you that she likes you.
  6. Notice if she mentions your relationship status. When a girl likes you, she will want to know whether you are single or not so that she can decide if she should flirt with you. She may directly ask you if you have a girlfriend or she may use a subtler approach.
    • She might tease you by saying things like “I bet you went to see that movie with your girlfriend.” If you like her, use this as an opportunity to flirt back. You could say “I don’t have a girlfriend, but I have been meaning to see that movie...want to go with me Friday night?”
  7. Look for "damsel in distress" moments. When a girl likes you, she may pretend to be in a mildly vulnerable situation to test your response. For example, if you're outside and the girl you like starts saying "I'm cold!" that's a subtle hint that she wants you to give her your sweater. Doing so is a very sweet gesture, especially if you want to show the girl that you like her.
    • Sometimes a girl will pretend to be really bad at doing something, like saying she doesn’t understand the homework. That is your chance to offer some assistance; be aware that she will most likely be doing this on purpose just to test your reaction in hopes that you will help out.
    • When offering assistance, if she doesn't fancy you but there is somebody she likes in the room, she may pout or show other signs of disappointment if you offer to help first. In this case, at least you'll know how she feels and will be able to move on.
  8. Test her interest by asking her for help. If she's always there for you when you need her, she might like you. But don't assume that she's into you only from one experience. Ask her occasionally for small things, like chewing gum or a pen, and notice how she reacts. If she's eager to help you and shows other signs of liking you, then she very well might.
    • Don’t use this approach too much or a tasks that seem too difficult, she may think you're lazy, testing her, or are even a bit of a nuisance. So don't overdo it; you don't want to risk her ceasing to like you if she indeed does.
  9. Notice how she acts around others. If a girl flirts with you, it doesn’t necessarily mean that she likes you. She may just get a thrill out of flirting, or she may not even notice that she’s flirting. The best way to see if she is just flirting with you and it’s not just her naturally flirty demeanor coming through is to notice how she acts around other people.
    • If she treats you differently than she does others, be it by holding eye contact just a bit longer with you than with anybody else or by being gentler in her teasing with you, then she may like you.

Being Direct About Your Interest

  1. Smile at her. A natural, genuine, carefree smile is the perfect way to let a girl know that you like being around her. It will also let her know that you’re a happy person, and since happiness can be contagious, she’ll associate positive emotions with you. If she returns your smile, you can bet she feels comfortable around you.[6]
  2. Strike up a conversation. This is a great way to gauge her interest level. As you talk, notice if she gives you any signs or hints that she likes you or if uses vaguely romantic language. She could also show her interest in you by nodding frequently or repeating some of your phrases.
    • To start a conversation, you can ask her an open-ended question about class, work, or pop culture. It could be something as simple as “what do you think about this band?” or “how’s your day going?”
    • Don’t fret if the girl you like doesn’t initiate a conversation with you. If she likes you, she may be too shy or nervous to do so! Even if she seems like the most confident girl you know, she may have had a bad experience in the past or simply may not be ready to approach you yet but will be receptive if you start the conversation first.
    • If you’re already friends, starting a conversation will be easy. In this case, the most effective way to tell if she likes you is to pick up on body language cues or to see if she treats you differently than she does her other friends.
  3. Be attentive. If you like the girl, put your best foot forward by remembering a few small details about the things she tells you. Listen carefully to the things she says so that you will have them for future reference.
    • For example, if she tells you the name of her favorite band, bring up one of the band’s songs during your next chat. She’ll be impressed that you took notice! If she wasn’t already interested in you romantically, she might start to reconsider once she sees how attentive you are.
    • Talking also provides another opportunity to observe her body language, so watch for physical cues such as subtle touches.
  4. Suggest that you like her. Only do this if you actually do like her and if you get the sense that she likes you back. This is a blunt move which can seem daunting, but if you like the girl and are fairly certain she might like you back, a bold approach which could open the door to you asking her out on a date with the certainty that she likes you back.
    • You can let her know you’re interested by saying something like “I really like having you as a friend, but I’d love to be more than friends.”
    • Don’t tell her you like her if you are just looking to satisfy your curiosity about her interest in you. This can be hurtful and can sever her trust in you.
  5. Ask her out. If you like the girl but aren’t sure if she likes you back, you can test the waters by saying “I’ve been hearing great things about this movie,___. Would you like to come see it with me?” Keep the tone casual. If she says yes, you’ll know she’s interested. If she says no, you can change the conversation to something else.
  6. Be receptive to her signals. Back off if you get the sense that she actually doesn’t like you or engage in a flirty banter if you sense there is mutual interest.
    • If the girl you like objects to your romantic advances, even when you thought she liked you back, don't take it personally. A good relationship starts with a strong mutual connection. Moreover, there are plenty of other girls who will be right for you.
  7. Avoid overanalyzing. Trying to figure out whether a girl likes you can be all-consuming and distracting. Over-analyzing her behavior may result in your becoming obsessed with simply "winning her over" rather than getting to know her as a person.
    • Rather than investing tons of time in determining whether or not she likes you, take opportunities every now and then to spend time with her and her friends. Just make sure to make your intentions relatively clear (via subtle flirting), or else you may become permanently "friend-zoned."

Test Your Knowledge

Quiz:Know-if-a-Girl-Likes-You

Tips

  • If a girl asks you to go out and do something with her only or with another couple, this may indicate that she is trying to send you the message that she wants to be more than friends.
  • A girl may like you without showing any of the aforementioned outward signs. The best way to find out is to spend time with her and see what sort of relationship develops between the two of you over time.
  • If she is very shy, then she may not be able to initiate a conversation with you face-to-face. However, it's possible that she will have the courage to talk to you online instead. If she talks to you online but shies away when she sees you, then the odds are she likes you a lot but is having a hard time showing it in person. Test the waters by smiling at her and asking her simple questions like how her day is going.
  • If you like a girl, don’t “flirt around.” If she sees you putting your arm around another girl or sees you flirt with others, she may assume that she is not special to you and may stop trying to get your attention.

Warnings

  • If a girl seems standoffish and avoids you, don't necessarily give up entirely, as you may be mistaken. Instead, slow down and give her room to breathe. She may be interested in you, but may uncomfortable being courted in public, in which case you should perhaps be more subtle about expressing your interest in her.
  • If a girl seems to be purposely avoiding any sort of contact with you - say, actively avoiding any chance to talk to you, even if you’re in a group setting - chances are she thinks you like her but she is not interested. It could also be that she is reacting negatively to advances that are too blunt. Take her silence and avoidance as a cue to back off and give her space. You can try flirting with her again after a couple of weeks. If she still responds negatively, you may have to cut your losses.

Related Articles

Sources and Citations

  1. ↑ http://theartofcharm.com/flirting-and-attraction/evoke-flirting-body-language/
  2. ↑ 2.0 2.1 http://www.livestrong.com/article/74785-read-female-body-language-flirting/
  3. ↑ http://blogs.scientificamerican.com/guest-blog/learning-the-look-of-love-in-your-eyes-the-light-the-heat/
  4. ↑ http://relationshipadvicecafe.com/signs-of-flirting-body-language-signs-that-indicate-flirting/
  5. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/valley-girl-brain/201203/how-flirt-without-it-seeming-youre-flirting
  6. ↑ http://hms.harvard.edu/news/harvard-medicine/contagion-happiness
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