Cope With Having No Friends

Having meaningful friendships can help you grow as a person, have more fun, and broaden your perspective. If you don't have any friends, however, that doesn't mean your life has to be miserable. There are still plenty of things you can do on your own, from working to improve yourself to having a great time all alone. Whether you have no friends because you moved to a new town or are away for the summer, or just because you can't seem to make any friendships stick, don't despair.

Steps

Entertain Yourself

  1. Write letters. You can write to your relatives or you can find a pen pal. Writing a letter to someone will help you get through tough times and stay in touch with the positive in your life. Treat the person as you would wish to be treated and you'll find yourself coming a long way.
  2. Make a YouTube video. If you're feeling lonely, making a YouTube video is the perfect way to reach out to the world and to share your thoughts and feelings with a variety of people. Whether you want to go on a funny rant, sing a song, or show off your juggling or makeup-application skills, you'll be able to charm a variety of people if you make a video that is tasteful and compelling.
    • You'll feel less alone if you're in touch with members of the YouTube community. Though there will always be some nay-sayers, hearing positive feedback will make you feel fulfilled.
  3. Go to a concert. Concerts are about enjoying the music, right? Don't be shy about buying just one ticket to the concert of a band you really like. Buy your ticket and stroll into the venue with your head high, and get ready to enjoy the music. Besides, if you're at a concert for one of your favorite bands, then you'll be much more likely to meet someone who shares your interests.
    • Don't worry about being alone there. Many people go to concerts on their own. It takes confidence and character to be able to do something on your own and not care that you don't have a friend there to make you "look" good.
    • You can also check out the free or low price concerts in your town. Many concerts are put on by a school or community band, orchestra, or choir, and are usually free or at a very low price. There are many free concerts in public parks, or smaller jazz concerts or local duos who have scheduled free shows in your local cafes or restaurants. You can also join a local community band, choir, or orchestra as well if you are able to play an instrument or sing. That will be a great way to meet new people that enjoy music just like you and to be part of a team.
  4. Play video games. Playing video games is a great way to entertain yourself and to escape into another world. Though you don't need to escape the fact that you don't have friends, everyone needs an escape once in a while, and playing video games can help you master new skills and to appreciate the advances technology has made over the years.
    • If you play online games, you may even meet some friends who are also playing the games that way.
  5. Make origami. Have you ever seen a complicated origami flower or a paper crane and have wanted to know how to make one? Well, now's your chance. Just get some origami paper and search the Internet for different origami shapes you can make. The step-by-step instructions will be easy and you can spend hours making an entire menagerie of paper animals or a full bouquet of flowers. And when you put your origami creations in your room, you can think, wow, I made that!
  6. Finish a Pinterest project. Are you one of those people with a Pinterest account with a million pinned projects that haven't been started? Maybe you were intimidated by the carved pumpkin, paper garland, or home-made skirt that you found on Pinterest, but with a bit of determination and the right materials, you'll be able to complete your own project in no time.
    • You'll feel rewarded after you develop your creative side and see that you're capable of anything.
    • If you had fun finishing one project, you can set a goal of completing one project a month -- or even one project per week, if you're feeling ambitious.
  7. Start a blog. Starting your own blog is a great way to share your passion for a subject with the world, to have fun researching your subject, and to be part of a productive community that shares your interests. Though you may be a little scared to put your thoughts out onto the world, find something you're passionate about, such as baseball, yoga, or fashion, and have fun putting your ideas out there.
    • You can also just start a blog with your random thoughts every day, or find a unifying theme to connect your thoughts. As long as you avoid having your blog sound like a diary and
  8. Learn to juggle. Have you ever seen someone juggling in a park and thought, "I wish I could do that!" Well, juggling only takes three balls or round objects and some persistence and hard work. Once you learn to juggle, the skill will be stored in your muscle memory, and you'll find that it's pretty hard to forget how to do it. You can learn how to juggle just by watching a YouTube video, and you can practice in the comfort of your own home.
    • Once you've mastered juggling three balls, you can work your way up to learning how to juggle four, five, six, or even ten of them. You'll be glad you learned this fun trick.
  9. Spend time with your family. Your family members can be great friends, even if you don't think of them that way. Spend some time hanging out with your parents or siblings, or at least checking in with them, as often as you can. You may not think that they're great resources or that they can help you through tough times, but they can.

Gain Knowledge

  1. Learn to play an instrument. If you want to benefit from all the time you spend on your own, then you should reap the rewards of learning to play an instrument on your own. You can get an online tutor, a book, or even spend time with a live tutor to learn how to play any instrument. You can start small, with a recorder, and once you see that you're dedicated, you can work your way up to a flute or a trumpet.
    • If you're learning to play the guitar or piano, you can have fun singing along to accompany your instrument.
    • If you take a group class to learn how to play an instrument, you'll be around people who are as passionate and self-motivated as you are.
  2. Learn a new language. Learning a new language is an amazing way to gain knowledge and to broaden your perspective. Pick a language you've always wanted to learn, whether it's Russian, French, Spanish, or Japanese, and have fun mastering it on your own. You can use Rosetta Stone or another program that can help you learn a language on your own.
    • You can also read a book or watch a movie or TV show in that native language to get immersed in the culture.
    • Eat the foods of that culture to become even more acquainted with the customs and language of that culture.
  3. Take an online class. You can gain knowledge from the comfort of your own home -- often times, without paying a cent. Check out MIT's OpenCourseWare, or the free online courses offered by other universities. You may have already gotten your degree or chosen your major, but there are a wealth of courses out there, in anything from microeconomics to Portuguese history, that can change your life.
    • Taking an online class can also give some structure and meaning to your life. You may feel that your days are empty without friends, and this is a meaningful and productive way to fill that time.
  4. Start a personal culture project. If you want to gain knowledge, you should make a list of all of the cultural knowledge out there -- from the art work of Picasso, to the oeuvre of Mozart, that you can begin to learn about. Make a list of the ten things you'd like to know more about, and begin viewing those paintings, listening to that music, or watching all of those classic movies you've heard so much about but never had a chance to see.
    • If you write your cultural aspirations in one list, you'll feel proud of yourself as you begin to check them off.
    • Search the Internet for lists of the top 100 novels or films of all time, and have fun reading or seeing as many as you can.
  5. Become an expert chef. Learning to cook nutritious, healthy meals is not only a great way to learn a valuable skill, but you'll also have fun and save money in the process. Whether you're watching the Food Network, using a cookbook, or looking up recipes online, you should make a goal of learning to make at least one new meal a week, and then adding it to your repertoire.
    • As you hone your skills, you can even make your own cookbook with your favorite treats.
  6. Take a Wikipedia tour. Spend an hour looking up something on Wikipedia and then click on another link to an article that interests you. Have fun exploring a host of new subjects as you click from one article to the next, expanding your knowledge.
    • For an even more challenging experience, try using the same links you used in the final article to find the original article to see if you can follow your line of thought.

Improve Yourself

  1. Keep a journal. Keeping a journal is a fantastic way to get in touch with your thoughts and to see how your thoughts and feelings have changed over the course of several days, weeks, or months. Keeping a daily journal also gives you some much-needed time to slow down and to reflect on your life and values. A journal is also a great place for you to write your goals for the future and to figure out a way to achieve them.
    • Try rereading your journal every six months to get a sense of how you've grown and changed.
  2. Address your flaws. Nobody's perfect. Take your alone time as an opportunity to address two or three things that you know you'd like to change about yourself. This could be your selfish nature, your tendency to worry too much, or your procrastination. Write down the things you'd like to change as well as a detailed plan for achieving them.
    • If you think you don't have flaws, you should dig a bit deeper. Everyone has something he or she should work on.
    • Addressing your flaws can also help make you a more agreeable person, and may make it easier for you to make friends in the future.
  3. Pamper yourself. Though you may not think that pampering yourself will help you improve yourself, it will, in fact, make you feel better about your body and your mind. Taking the time to get a massage, take a hot bath, or to trim your nails, will slow down your mind and make your body more relaxed and at peace. Take at least one day a week to do something just to make your body feel relaxed, clean, and whole.
  4. Think about why you may not have friends. Though entertaining yourself, gaining knowledge, and working on improving your character and outlook are rewarding in and of themselves, you may want to think about why you don't have friends. It may be situational and temporary, or it may be a problem that has plagued you your whole life. Maybe you're too selfish, too shy, too direct, or too afraid to trust anyone.
    • If you'd like to have friends, or if you'd just like to continue your path of self-improvement, then try addressing these flaws.
  5. Develop a positive outlook. It might be hard at first, but there's always good around you. It's easy to see all the bad things in the world, and to always be negative. Be thankful for something in the moment like the sunshine or your health.
  6. Stop hating. If you are anti-this or anti-that, figure out why you're so against it. If you explore things that you are against, you might find good in them - and if not, you will know your enemy better. Someone who is full of hatred, but cannot say why is often viewed as irrational and unpleasant by the people around them.
  7. Explore whether or not you may have a deeper problem. Excessively negative feelings might be the result of an earlier trauma. An inability to socialize properly might indicate an inherent emotional imbalance. If you've gotten fit, joined a club and become proficient at a particular skill and are still unable to make friends, you might want to consult a doctor and see if this isn't a sign of a more serious problem.
  8. Exercise regularly. It's healthy and cleanses your mind. Exercise and other healthy activities will take away the loneliness and make you feel better about yourself. Being healthy will not only improve your internal disposition, but it will make you more fit. Go Enjoy Cloudy and Rainy Weather Outside, take a walk or just enjoy the sun and fresh air for a few minutes everyday.
  9. Find a hobby. It can be listening to music, reading literature, or even brushing up on your computer skills. Gain Recognition for Your Talents in School are also things that social networks can be built around. Join a club or guild devoted to something that interests you. Try anything, from painting, ceramics, pottery, acting, or salsa to sailing, skiing, running, or playing backgammon.
    • A hobby is anything that is meaningful and which takes up your time.
  10. Be your own best friend. Be good to yourself and treat yourself with a lot of respect and kindness. It's easy to be negative towards yourself when you have no one around you. However, it's very important that you don't develop overly negative feelings towards yourself or low self esteem. That said, no one likes an egomaniac, so be sure to keep your feelings in check.

Be More Social

  1. Pursue your interests with others. Even if you don't want to make friends, being around other people can improve your mood and outlook. If you've taken up a sport or hobby, go to club events, sporting meet-ups and competitions. Engage with people at these events to make connections. Don't be afraid to join a club for something you've never done before, like Improv or bowling. You may meet many other people who are equally inexperienced, and you can bond over that.
    • Take it slowly if you're hesitant, but allow yourself to connect and potentially click with people who like the same things that you do.
  2. Find like-minded people online. Even if you don't find friends in real life in any hurry, you can find many people online who share your thoughts, ideas and dreams about many things. You can develop very close and take things at your own pace and to withdraw whenever you need to do so. Online friendships are not as intimate as those in real life and usually won't solve loneliness completely, but are nonetheless a good way to feel connected and pass time.
    • Just don't let your online friends keep you from making friends in person, and be careful about meeting up or connecting with any people you meet online.
  3. Volunteer. Doing things that benefit your neighborhood like community service projects are a great way to meet people. Helping the less fortunate also allows you to step out of yourself and put things into perspective. You'll find that you should be even more grateful for what you have, and will feel more worthy after putting yourself out there and doing good work.
    • Help adults and children learn to read at your local library.
    • Volunteer at your local soup kitchen.
    • Help clean up a park in your community.
  4. Get a pet. Though pets can't replace people, they are known to be loyal, incredible companions that can relieve stress and make your days more fulfilling. You can go to your local animal shelter and get a dog or cat. Often, pets can act as a nexus of socialization. Having a pet gives you an excuse to get outside and talk to other pet owners that you meet on the streets or in the park.
  5. Take a chance. Socializing is extremely difficult, and even the most social butterfly will find themselves in awkward situations regularly. To properly socialize, you must be willing to go out on a limb and take a risk. If you talk to the popular crowd at their table and they insult you, walk away and praise yourself for stepping into that lion's den. If you ask someone out and get rejected, praise yourself for having the bravery to admit your feelings.

Tips

  • If you don't want to make friends that's okay. Just focus on completing your goals and dreams!
  • Do not dumb yourself down or compromise your morals to get people to like you.
  • Believe that true friendship is out there and possible for you! Don't outwardly show that you are lonely and hate it; it only turns people away from you. If anything try to develop a positive sense of humor! Everybody loves to laugh.
  • Never believe that people with high end jobs, lots of money, fame are different to you. Everyone is human and the grass is not always greener on the other side.
  • Find a new context. The most dramatic way to change yourself is to encounter a new culture. The reality is that some people aren't suited for their own cultures and find themselves more at ease in new cultures. If you aren't time oriented, try the tropics - if you like to multitask, try a polychronic society such as those of the Middle East, Mediterranean or south Asia. If you are artistic and intellectual, try Europe.
  • Socializing is extremely difficult and if you are not suited to it, learning to socialize can be a painful and arduous experience. Never give up, but never be afraid to admit that you've bitten off more than you can chew.
  • If you have no friends because you are being bullied, talk to an adult so they can sort things out.
  • Stuck on conversation ideas? Simple. Ask questions about the person, However, make sure that you don't go overboard; it can be very frightening to be approached and grilled about your address, job, who's at home etc. Don't come across as creepy. Try to keep it general or on harmless topics (like hobbies or pets). The point is to open up the lines of communication so that they feel comfortable sharing.
  • Try to talk to the other people who don't have many friends.
  • Remember that television is not a reflection of life. The glamorous lives on Sign Up for Sweet 16 on MTV and in rap videos are false representations of life. Most of the human race lives a simple life working, making money, coming home and reading the newspaper. If that's you, don't sweat it - you're normal.
  • Don't seek Take Action to Prevent School Violence against others as an answer. Feelings of isolation and of being different from those around you can lead to feelings of arrogance and superiority. Lashing out will only give you a negative reputation. Lashing out violently will gain you a bad reputation as well as a criminal record.
  • People won't always take you seriously, so don't be afraid to walk away from them. Realize that being insulted is a part of life - not everyone you meet will agree with you or like you. Don't whine about how no one respects you - they just can't understand you.
  • If you are a young teen, try going on some social game websites. Ex. Meez, IMVU, OurWorld, etc.
  • Think of your experience as a valuable lesson and try to share with others.
  • If you end up finding out you do have a more serious 'problem' as to why you can't make friends, attend health groups. Ask your doctor or counselor about local groups and meetings there are that focus on people who have the same and/or similar issues that you have. You may not want to at first, but attending such groups can help you figure out how to help yourself, and more than likely you'll make friends with other people in the groups that are just like you. Keep an open mind.
  • Get a good education. Enjoy your career and family. Most friends are just users. Value yourself and your standards. Live up to your own exceptional standards and don't compromise them for anyone.
  • If you have no friends because you are being bullied, talking to an adult might not always help. In that case, just keep yourselves involved too much in studies. Try to invent something which requires most of your involvement and concentration. This may sort out things because bullying is not so easy to stop!
  • Be social and talk, you'll have a friend within no time.
  • Try to find a hobby; this can distract you from the fact that you have no friends, and there's a chance that you will find people will common interests.
  • Try to work on your academics, as having good results may bring others to you if they need help.
  • Watch shows that you like. This releases the discomfort you have.
  • Focus on being your own friend and building yourself up.

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