Date a Guy That Likes Another Girl

The course of true love is never smooth. Sometimes the guy you like doesn't know you exist... yet. However, if he seems to like another girl and it all seems hopeless, this can be just the time to finally make yourself known to him and send forth that love you have for him.

Steps

Do you really know who he's interested in?

  1. Find out whether there is someone he likes already. Make sure this isn't just in your imagination. How can you tell? Here are some indicators:
    • He talks about the other girl a lot.
    • He seems to spend a lot of time trying to be near the other girl.
    • He has told friends he likes her, and this has reached you through similar friends or friends of friends.
    • She knows he likes her and has told you or has told everyone she can.
    • He makes an effort to sit near her in class, at lunch, etc. and to carry her books or do other things that can get him close to her.
  2. If he is actually dating the other girl right now, consider backing right off. It's one thing to know he fancies another girl, it's quite something else to aim to be the girl that busts up an existing relationship. That is fraught with danger, dislike, jealousy and mistrust. And do you really want to be with a guy who will easily drop one girl for you? You could suffer the same fate down the track. Be certain that it's just a friendship with this other girl, and not an actual dating relationship, before setting your target on him.
    • If you really think their relationship is doomed, be patient and let time do its thing. When they break up, you can be there to catch the pieces.
    • Do you really want to compete for him? If so, consider how serious the relationship is, and how happy they seem together before throwing in your bid to cause trouble between them. If he is truly happy in this relationship, you may risk his happiness.
    • If it turns out they are just good friends, the door may be open to date him without any worries.

Getting to know him

  1. Get to know him better. If he is interested in someone else, you guys will need to know each other better. At least give him the chance to decide he likes you instead, by being an active part of his life.
    • Get closer. Find excuses to talk to him and hang around him.
    • If you are in school and in the same class, try to find an opportunity to do a project or study together.
    • Find out what he likes to do outside school, his hobbies and interests.
    • See if you have anything in common. If you don't, you might decide this relationship isn't even worth the effort of chasing!
  2. Learn about hobbies and sports he is interested in. If he is in to art, show him your drawings, or look for art shows in your community and ask him to come along with you and some other friends. If he likes football, learn enough about the game to carry on a conversation with him about it.

Is the time right now... or later?

  1. After getting to know him, and his potential other girl, decide if it's worth the effort of continuing. If he is serious about the other girl and makes it clear to her that he is pursuing dating her, consider the problems trying to date him may cause. He might be disappointed that you are trying to turn a friendship into something more intimate, especially when it's obvious to all that his heart lies elsewhere. This is a good time to give up your efforts before anyone gets hurt or hard feelings occur. It is also a good time to decide whether it's worth destroying your blossoming friendship, which may still bear fruit if he and the other girl don't work out. Sometimes it is best to play the long game and simply be there as a friend, until much later.
  2. Take your time. Depending on how his relationship is going with the girl he is actually dating, it may be only a matter of time before a breakup. You will want to be in a good position to step in.

Asking for a date

  1. If you're convinced he isn't serious about the "other girl" and that you have a real chance, make your move. Hint around about someplace you would like to go, that you think he would be interested in.
  2. Keep your hints and suggestions innocent. Don't drop a line on him about going to the local "lovers' hangout" or something blatantly romantic.
  3. Don't be too pushy, or make suggestions and hints too often, as this will cause him to put his guard up. Occasionally mention casually there is some evening activity you think he would enjoy, and that you would like to go with him. This may be a movie, sporting event, or community event that you can present as a mutual interest.

Maintaining your friendship

  1. Be a good friend, regardless of whether he asks you out or not. This means avoiding insulting or misleading him about his present girlfriend, or being dishonest about your likes simply to impress him.
    • Don't read to much into the things he says or does. Girls can sometimes over think things; if he smiles or laughs with you, don't assume he wants to elope, he's just being friendly
  2. Deal with your own feelings honestly. This means that you need to admit to yourself your reasons for wanting to go out with him. If it is only based on jealousy of his girlfriend, or it's just a passing attraction, your efforts won't be in good character. Moreover, if your intentions are spiteful, you may be so enmeshed in jealousy that you miss a guy who is really worth your efforts. Be absolutely certain that this is the guy you want to wait for.
    • Don't spend all your time obsessing over him. You have a life to live and obsession isn't healthy and can lead to heartbreak. Don't be a stalker.
    • Don't hate the girl he likes or at least do your best not to. This is hard because you probably see her as competition, but it's pointless obsessing over her and shows immaturity on your behalf.
    • Don't turn yourself into a copy of his girlfriend. That will only end badly; if he does break up, he won't want another her and he won't be impressed that you're aping her at any stage of your friendship.

Tips

  • Make eye contact, but don't overdo it.
  • Be yourself! You want him to like the real you, not someone else.
  • Don't seem too eager for his attention. Don't forget you also have a life to live.
  • Don't act like you know everything in front of him. Try to let him 'inspire' you (even if you already know), but don't overdo it. He may think you are dumb.
  • Be persistent and never stop hoping.
  • Don't be jealous of him.
  • But if he's really in love with the girl then don't try to ruin their relationships.She will get revenge once you and the guy start dating.
  • If he's not being truthful then why should you be?! Get even! Flirt with another guy. What goes around comes around. So get up. Take a breath, take a gulp, and make it come around.
  • If he already has a girlfriend and they are happy together, move on.
  • Don't make it too obvious that you really like him.
  • Smile a lot and be friendly.
  • Act cool but don't overdo it. He needs to love the real you.
  • Don't make it obvious that you're trying to steal him.
  • Take care of yourself, look nice and confident in front of him.

Warnings

  • Do not get angry at him.
  • Do not try to make him jealous as this will result in him thinking you do not like him.
  • Do not hurt anyone.
  • Be nice to the current girlfriend, she can do you a lot of harm.
  • If he doesn't like you, he's not worth it.

Things You'll Need

  • Hobbies he likes

Related Articles

Retrieved from "https://kipkis.com/index.php?title=Date_a_Guy_That_Likes_Another_Girl&oldid=331458"