Find Out if a Good Friend Is Crushing on You
You've been good friends with a person for a long time now, but recently you've noticed that he or she is acting differently around you. You’re starting to suspect that there’s only one logical explanation: your friend is crushing on you. Whether you’re excited because you want to take things to the next level with your friend, or worried because you don’t return those romantic feelings, there are a few ways to tell whether or not your good friend has a crush on you. If you want to know how your close friend really feels about you, follow these steps.
Contents
Steps
Notice What Your Friend Says
- See if your friend is suddenly interested in your romantic life. If your good friend has a crush on you, then he may start to suddenly be curious about who you’re dating. If he never cared about who you were dating before but is suddenly showing interest in who you’re dating and asking lots of questions about it, chances are that he wishes you were dating him instead.
- If your friend asks how your dates went all the time when he never used to care, then he may have a crush on you.
- If your friend always asks, “Do you think it’s serious?” or “Do you really like him?” after you go on a date with a person, then he may just be nervous that you’re going to get attached to someone else.
- If your friend gently puts down any person you date or even says “He’s not good enough for you,” then he might think that he’s the one for you instead.
- Another sign that your friend is crushing on you is that while your friend used to love hearing the details of your dating life, he’s now oddly quiet whenever it comes up. It may make him upset to hear all about the romantic life of his new crush.
- See if your friend has hinted that he wants to date you. Your friend might have even said that he wants to date you and you haven’t even noticed it. Here are some ways that he could have done it:
- If your friend suddenly says things like, “I really like talking to you” and he’s never mentioned it before, he may be developing a crush.
- If your friend has made a lot of comments about how much he wants a girlfriend, he may be directing this toward you.
- If your friend hypothetically asks you what you think it would be like if you dated, then—duh—he’s giving you a big hint that he wants to date you.
- See if your friend has been complimenting you a lot more. If your friend is the type to always give elaborate compliments, then fine, but if your friend rarely praises you and is suddenly telling you that you look nice, that he likes your new dress, or even says that something about your hair or eyes, then he’s probably hinting that he wants something more.
- Pay attention. If your friend has never complimented you before and has suddenly started being very complimentary to only you, then it may mean that he wants to take things to the next level. But if he’s suddenly complimenting every girl in sight, then it may not mean anything.
Notice What Your Friend Does
- See if your friend asks you to hang out solo more. If your friend is suddenly seizing every opportunity to hang out with you on your own, then it means that he wants to take things to the next level. If before you’ve mostly done the “group hang” thing, and now, he or she is asking you to go to the movies, to grab coffee, or even to have dinner, then that’s just one step away from asking you for a date.
- See if your friend pays special attention to you in group situations. If before, when you hung out in groups, you were just laughing and hanging out with all of your friends equally, and now you suddenly see that your friend is always at your side, making eye contact, or playfully touching you, then it may mean that he wants to be more than just friends.
- Take a look at your friend next time you’re in a group situation. See if you can catch him staring at you. If he blushes when you catch him, then this makes it even more likely that he may want something more from you.
- See if your friend is more shy around you. If your friend was once very open and candid about everything and is suddenly acting more modest around you, then it may mean that he or she is suddenly feeling more bashful in your presence because he has a big crush on you. If your friend is a guy and he stops his usual loud burping or vulgar jokes, then he may be crushing on you.
- If your friend is a girl and she suddenly looks down at the floor more, or is less eager to reveal the details of her latest date, then it may be because she only wants you to be in her personal life.
Notice What Has Changed
- See if your friend has started caring more about his looks around you. If your friend has always dressed and looked pretty casual around you and now he or she looks ready to go on a date every time you’re together, then something may be up. If your friend has changed the way he looks around you, then he may have just started caring more about his looks, or he may want you to notice him.
- If you’ve run into your friend by accident, check out how he looks. If he always seems to be dressed up, then he may have just given himself a makeover. But if he’s always looking sharp around you but casual if you run into him, then the looks may have been just for your viewing pleasure.
- If your friend is a girl, see if she’s started to put on more makeup, pay more attention to her hair, or even to wear tighter or just obviously new clothes around you.
- See if your friend has started checking his reflection more around you. A girl could look in her mirror, while a guy could check himself out when he passed by a window.
- See if your friend has become jealous around you. This is another dead giveaway that your good friend wants to take things to the next level. If your friend has never previously cared if you’re dating someone but has started to act jealous or possessive, then he may have started crushing on you—hard.
- If your friend starts being unfriendly to the people you’re casually dating, then he may like you.
- If your friend asks, “What do you see in that guy?” or “Why are you wasting your time with him?” then he obviously wishes you were seeing him instead.
- If your friend acts possessive of you in group situations and clearly tries to pull you away from members of the opposite sex, then he’s jealous of you.
- If your friend keeps looking over at you as you talk to a member of the opposite sex at a bar or a party, then he’s clearly checking to see if you’re interested in someone else.
- See if your friend just seems to be around more often. If you used to see your good friend once a week, and now he seems to be around almost every day, it’s a sign that he wants to take things to the next level with you. If your friend takes every opportunity to hang out with you, even if it’s to go somewhere with you that has never previously appealed to him, then it may be because he has a crush on you.
- If your good friend has suddenly offered to help you with your errands, homework, or anything else that feels like a chore, then he obviously just wants any excuse to spend more time with you.
- If your friend lives on the other side of the city but randomly pops up in your neighborhood all the time, then he obviously wants to get closer to you.
- See if your friend’s body language has changed. You can tell a lot about how your good friend feels about you based on his body language. If she was always affectionate and continues to be that way then it’s not much help, but if your good friend used to have very closed-off body language and is now very open toward you, then it’s saying something. Here are some ways to notice if your friend’s new body language indicates that he has a crush on you:
- If your friend has started leaning in more when you talk or just standing closer to you in general, then he may have a crush on you.
- If your friend used to look around distractedly but is now always making intense eye contact, then he may want something more from you.
- If your friend used to cross her arms or direct her body away from you but now faces you with her body and keeps her hands at her sides or uses them to gesture, then she may have started crushing on you.
- If your girl friend has started to play with her hair when she talks to you, this may be because she’s a little nervous since she realized she has a crush on you.
- See if your good friend has started touching you casually more often. Even if he just started playfully shoving you or touching your forearm a lot more, it may mean that he wants to connect more intimately.
Find Out if Your Friend Likes You
- Give your friend the perfect opportunity to tell you. If you want to know whether your friend likes you or not—assuming you like your friend too—then you should give that person a chance to tell you how he feels. This is easier than asking him yourself or even sharing your own feelings if you do have them. Here’s how to give your friend the opportunity to tell you:
- Isolate the person. Arrange a solo hang-out session and see if anything happens. If you’re good friends, this won’t seem like a big deal.
- If you like the person, try to set up a pseudo-date. Invite the person to a slightly nicer dinner or a semi-romantic movie and see if he tells you anything afterwards.
- Have a drink or two. A drink will loosen the person’s inhibition and will make him more likely to reveal his feelings.
- Ask your mutual friends. If you have mutual friends who have seen you together, then you can ask them if they think the person likes you. Ask the mutual friends of your gender so they’re less likely to go blabbing to your friend. See if they have any insight into your friend’s actions or if they’ve heard anything.
- Ask them to be honest. If you really want to know the truth, they should tell you what they honestly think. If they don’t think your friend likes you in that way, they should say so.
- If you’re shy about asking them directly, then you can mention your friend and just make an offhand comment about how he’s been acting different lately and see if your friends mention it on their own.
- Ask your friend’s friends. This is a more gutsy move. Asking your friend’s friends is almost the same thing as asking him if he likes you himself. If he’s crushing on you, his friends will know, but it’s not likely that they would tell you. You can try asking a close friend of his that you really, really trust, but be careful. This plan may backfire.
- Ask your friend. If you’re feeling bold and want to know the answer to your question, then you should just ask your friend if he has a crush on you. If you’ve had the sense that he likes you and have thought so for a long time, then it may be better to have things out in the open. Then again—if you don’t like your friend romantically, you may think about waiting for the whole thing to blow over. But if you do really want to know if he has a crush on you, don’t make it a big deal and just ask.
- Don’t be nervous about asking. If you’re good friends, then you should be comfortable talking about anything.
- Just tell your friend that you’ve noticed that he’s been acting differently. First, ask if there’s anything he wants to tell you. If he doesn’t take the bait, then just ask him if he likes you.
- Be casual. You don’t have to set up an elaborate rendezvous to ask. Just pick a private place and ask your friend how he feels about you while making eye contact and keeping your voice calm and steady.
Tips
- If you find out your friend does like you, don't play with his or her heart. Explain your feelings, whatever they are, and see if it will work out.
- If you look at your friend and he/she quickly looks away, it means he/she was looking at you!
- If they act like they like you, but they've confessed to you that they have a crush on somebody else, perhaps they are confused. Most probably they have feelings for both you and that other person, but they're inclined to admit only the other one as the "official" crush, fearing that admitting their feelings for you will ruin your friendship. Don't approach them directly if you're not 100% positive that they like you; otherwise you may get into an awkward situation.
- Warning: Sometimes they may not have a crush on you but you are simply becoming better friends or they are starting to trust you more.
- Notice if he/she is hugging you a lot or laying their head on your shoulder.
- Don't get other people involved. The feelings that are there/aren't there are confusing enough without getting other people involved. From experience, when people tell one person, the proof is in them. You can't make someone tell/not tell, so my advice would be to keep it to yourself. However, don't bottle up your emotions. It's good to maybe talk to someone in your family, or even write a diary or journal. This helps, as it feels like you have told a friend, rather than a book. You also should act like normal friends. If you act obvious, it might put your friend off you, and you might not be friends after he/she's realized what's going on.
- If you just want to be friends, don't lead him or her on. Simply say you just want to be friends. If it hurts your friend too much, just let him or her know maybe someday it will work, but it just isn't an option at that time in life.
- Ask your friend's closest friend(besides you); they usually know everything about each other.
