Keep a Girl Interested
Catching a girl's eye is only the first step to a relationship: now you have to keep her interested. You can earn a girl's trust and respect by establishing yourself as a fun, kind, and reliable person. Below you'll find some tips on how to prove you're worth keeping around. Just get started with Step 1.
Contents
Steps
Keeping Her Life Exciting
- Be adventurous. The rock boy, the cowboy, the surfer. While she might not be outright looking for an adventurous guy, she certainly won’t say no to someone who’s willing to try new things and keep her life (and his) exciting. When all you do is sit on the couch, it gets hard to keep interest. You won’t be interested in yourself and she’ll become less interested in you. Solve this by getting out and enjoying your life. You don’t have to run off and join the circus but doing activities of any kind and getting her involved with you will help keep things interesting.
- For example, traveling and outdoor activities are always an easy way to experiment with being more adventurous. Try going for a hike in the mountains in the next state over. Road trip!
- Pursue what she enjoys. She has things that she cares about. When you show her that you care about these things too and that you’re willing to work to help her pursue that part of her life, she’ll be really impressed. She wants to stay with someone who can understand her in that way and that she knows she can count on for support. Find ways to help her pursue what she loves and you’ll go far towards keeping her interest.
- For example, if she really loves fashion, help her start a blog or vlog where she can give advice to others. You can take pictures of her and help her figure out how to start and design a website. You can also make sure that you both have time set aside during the week for her to work on the blog, by not demanding too much of her time or by making that time part of your relationship.
- Take on challenges together. Taking on challenges together will certainly make your lives more interesting, but it will also help you feel closer together and increase your confidence in each other. Taking on challenges together is actually one of the most effective ways of building strong feelings between two people. Now, of course, the challenges that you take on will depend on who you are and where you are in your lives. You can consider things like:
- Losing weight together or getting in shape.
- Get in to the same great college or university.
- Improve your grades and get that GPA over a 3 or 3.5 (or whatever is appropriate).
- Learn together. Learning together can be a great way to keep things interesting. This will not only engage your brains (together!) but it will also give you more things to talk about and chances to bond. There are lots of different ways that you can learn together and many are free. By choosing a subject that you’re both interested in, you also ensure that it’s fun.
- You can watch online educational videos, like TEDTalks or Crash Course on Youtube.
- You can take free online courses with sites like Coursera.
- You can also take classes from your local community college or community center, depending on what you want to learn.
- Never let things become routine. One of the worst things you can do for a relationship, whether it’s friendship or romantic, is to let things become routine. Eating at the same restaurant, on the same day, and going to the same stores in the mall every weekend gets boring. She’ll lose interest. Instead, keep routine out of everything in your relationship, from dates to sex.
- Take her on imaginative dates. Dinner and a movie is nice. It’s got a place in everyone’s dating repertoire. But just like you can’t survive on just spaghetti, you need to get some other dates in the mix in order to keep her interested. Try something unusual every now and again, like geocaching or volunteer with your city to go plant trees.
- Be spontaneous. Kiss her randomly, just because. Take her out on a date in the middle of the week, just for variety. Get her a simple gift (flowers, a teddy bear, etc.) and surprise her with it at work or school. being spontaneous shows that you’re always thinking about ways to make her happy, not just following a set pattern of behavior.
Setting Yourself Apart
- Develop who you are as a person. You need to be an interesting person if you want to keep her interested. Contrary to what Hollywood would have you believe, this doesn't mean that you need to be rich and save the world every few months. Real people don't want that much interest in their lives. Instead, just keep moving forward as a person. Keep growing up, keep pursuing new goals, and let your interests change naturally. Find new things to love and new ways to spend your time every now and again. And never stop trying to make yourself a better person.
- For example, try taking one of your interests and making it into a serious hobby. Take a class to improve your skills and then see if you can make a couple extra bucks doing the thing you love on the weekend. You can show off your passion even more to her by teaching her how to do it too.
- That's the thing here: when she sees you embracing your life and developing who you are as a person, she sees the passion you have for what you're doing...and passion is super sexy. Even when it's for something "dumb" like building model cars, she'll still be floored by the level of concentration and detail that you go in to.
- Respect her. Respecting her is crucial to making yourself into the guy that she wants to be with. This is especially important because there will probably be several areas of her life where she's not respected. She'll certainly have encountered more than a few guys that couldn't get past the fact that she has boobs. But you're better than that. You're going to show her every day just how incredible and capable you think she is.
- Value her opinion and make sure that she puts in her two cents when it comes to decisions that you make together. Let her talk without interrupting her. Listen to her. Never insult her or belittle her. Basically, follow the golden rule: treat her how you would want to be treated.
- Always be kind to everyone, not just her. Being kind to her is pretty obvious, right? But being kind to other people is just as important if not even more so. When you're unkind to other people and especially to people that are "weaker" than you, you send the message that she might someday expect the same. If you talk behind you best friend's back, then how does she know you don't do the same with her?
- A good bet is to be especially kind with homeless people, waiters, and people who go door to door. These are the kinds of people that people are normally really rude to. By being nice and generous with them, you'll show her that your heart is made of much stronger stuff than the average Joe's.
- Fulfill her needs, once you're in a relationship. When you're in a relationship together, focus on meeting her needs in balanced proportion. Lots of guys will be great at being her friend but they'll be tepid in bed, causing her to lose interest over time. Meanwhile, other guys will be a tiger in the sack, but won't stimulate that great brain she has. If you keep her feeling fulfilled on all accounts, you'll show her that you're really the perfect package.
- Fill her physical needs. You'll want to focus on her pleasure and orgasm in bed. This doesn't mean you have to be a total stud or be well endowed. It really is all about how you use what you've got. Talk to her about what she enjoys and show her that you're ready to learn and improve.
- Fill her emotional needs. This is all about being supportive. Think of it like being a good friend. Talk to her, let her know that you're there for her, and do things to make her happy.
- Fill her mental needs. Everyone wants to feel stimulated and engaged, even if they don't realize it. You'll meet her mental needs by having serious conversations, trying new things together, and doing interesting activities like unique dates and traveling.
- Never stop making the effort. Never ever ever stop making the effort where she is concerned. Don't stop trying to be sexy, don't stop trying to woo her, don't stop trying to impress her. When you stop making the effort, she'll start to feel taken for granted and you don't want that. Even if you're really secure in your relationship and feelings for each other, even if you've been married for 50 years, you should still never stop trying to be her knight in shining armor.
Creating a Bond
- Maintain physical contact. Hold her hand. Play with her hair. Kiss her spontaneously. You want to keep physical contact between you, throughout your relationship. It’s easy to take that person for granted, especially when you’ve been together for a long time, but maintaining physical contact is very important for helping you maintain your bond that you do have.
- Talk about your relationship. It can feel kind of awkward, especially if you aren’t used to doing it, but talking about your relationship is actually really good for your relationship. It's generally a great bonding activity to make plans for the future and discuss what you really love about each other. It's also good, though, because it gives you the chance to fix problems before they become too big to solve. This will give her a sense of stability that she might not be able to find with anyone else.
- Create a safe, nonjudgmental space where you both know that you can be honest with each other without being laughed or yelled at.
- Let her see how much you believe in her. She’s going to have her own challenges to deal with. She’s going to fight with friends, have problems with her boss at work, and get stressed when she’s got more things to juggle than she feels like she can handle. What you need to do is never let her doubt that you know she can handle it like a boss. You know that she’s strong enough and smart enough to conquer all of her problems...so tell her so.
- Say something like, “I’m sorry that you’re having to deal with Becca’s drama. You shouldn’t have to do that. But that’s one of the really great things about you: you really know how to make people into the better versions of themselves. It sucks now but you’re going to help her so much and you’ll get to spend the rest of your life feeling proud about how much you helped her.”
- Ask the right questions. When you talk together, don’t just skim the surface. Don’t keep your conversations to things like what you did that day. Don’t just know her favorite color and her middle name. You need to talk about things that really probe who you are as people. When you do this, you create a deeper, more real bond. Ask questions with a lot of “what, why, and how”:
- ”What do you want your future to be like?”
- ”Why do you avoid your sister like that?”
- ”How does it feel to be in charge of your cabin group?”
- Make sure there's time for just the two of you. Setting aside time to be a couple is crucial for your relationship, no matter how long you’ve been together. Don’t get so caught up in life that your like trains passing in a station. Nothing in your life should take such priority that you can’t at least stop for an hour to have a nice, home cooked meal together. She needs to feel like you’re really there for her and that means being there as much as you can.
- Even just going to bed half an hour early so that you two can have time to talk and be intimate can be huge.
