Know if a Shy Girl Likes You at School

Shy girls want the same things any other girl wants. They want friends, success, and love. They just won't always put themselves "out there" in order to get it. That means if you like a shy girl, you're going to have to take proactive measures. Look for the signs to see if maybe she's hiding a crush for you just behind the wall of her shyness.

Steps

Identifying Romantic Body Language

1. Notice eye contact. Eye contact is an important part of human interaction, and it just so happens that when people feel romantically inclined or particularly at ease with someone, a natural physical response is for the pupils to dilate. If she holds your gaze longer than normal, or if you find her staring your way more frequently, this could also be a sign that she's interested in you.
   • Each case will be different, but shy people tend to favor indirect confrontation, so you may never catch her looking your way. If she avoids looking at you entirely, this can be just as strong a sign she's interested. Another sign could be she is looking straight at the clock, whiteboard, or talking to her friends to distract herself but she will look in all directions in the room except avoid looking your way.
2. Watch for jealousy. Some shy girls may become jealous if you flirt with others. She may become irritated with you after you've talked with other girls, or might get hurt when you're not there for her in a more-than-a-friend capacity.
   • Is she bummed out when you miss her volleyball game against the big rivals? She may be hiding a crush for you if this is the case.
3. Keep an eye on her wrists and hands. Women often expose their wrists when romantically or physically interested in a man. But even if she's only touching your arm or holding onto you in a crowd, reaching gestures from her to you may mean she looks to you for support on a deeper level.
   • Often it is common for a shy girl to initiate physical contact accidentally, repeating this later as a way of determining whether the touch was welcome or not.
4. Watch out for blushing. She will be more prone to blush around someone she likes. Keep an eye out for reddened cheeks and face; if she's red-faced around you, she could be hiding deeper feelings.
5. Pay heed to distance and orientation. Some claim that one of the strongest clues you have about another person's interest in you is the distance that person stands from you. The closer a person stands, the more likely that person would consider you as a romantic partner. Also, the direction her feet point might point out whether she's digging you or looking to dash out the door.
6. Note her wardrobe and preening gestures. If she dresses up in special clothes when you hang out, or if she adds a special touch, like makeup, this could mean that she's dressing up to impress you. When you catch her looking in the mirror and straightening her bangs, her preening to look good for you is a strong indication she might have a crush on you.
7. Watch for tilting and leaning. If you find her frequently leaning in close when you are speaking and tilting her head while you speak, this is a strong indication of engagement and interest. The more frequently you see this behavior, the more likely she is interested in you as more than a friend.

Identifying Verbal Cues

1. Observe small compliments. It might not seem like a big deal to you when she compliments your new sneakers, but her noticing changes in your outfit or appearance and complimenting you could be her way of showing you she's interested enough in you to pay attention.
2. Pay attention to how she talks. Many shy people are worried about saying the wrong thing, which sometimes leads to quietness around a crush. Oppositely, nervousness at being close to a crush might cause a shy girl to be a little more chatty. In either case, research has shown that if she responds to you smoothly and quickly, she likely is interested in some kind of relationship with you.
3. Give the girl you like compliments. Small praise has a profound effect on people, but this effect is more pronounced with potential romantic partners. Does your girl light up when you pay her simple praise? She may be crushing on you.
4. Listen for laughter. When she peppers your conversation with pleasant laughter at your wit and charm, it could mean she wants you to like her. Listen for frequency. Laughing more with you than others could be a love letter from her subconscious.
5. Take note of volume and pitch. Notes in lower registers are subconscious attempts at showing off, which makes a dreamy or husky quality in her voice a good sign for you! She may be loud around others, but quiet around you. These are often hints she is interested.
6. Ask through a mutual friend. Shy people frequently fear direct confrontation, so asking her if she has feelings for you through a note passed on through a friend or in a message that friend relates to her could save you from unnecessary detective work. Remember, she will find out that you asked, and sometimes people use this information to pick on other. There is nothing wrong with asking someone if they like you.
   • Remember that some shy girls are very reserved and may keep their crush a secret, even from their best friends. It's important that you take time to read your situation to see if this kind of inquiry is a good decision.

Being Direct

1. Ease her into conversation. Since she's a shy girl, it is important during this stage that you don't force her to talk with you. She might need time to adjust to being around you or to speaking with you, and rushing her into conversation could cause her stress. When checking to see if she likes you, first talk about low-stakes topics, like the weather, teachers, classmates, or daily life. Be patient and it is likely she will become more comfortable with you.
   • It might take time before she's ready to break out of her shell, so be persistent if she is even slightly responsive.
2. Share regular conversation with her. Studies have found that people naturally speak more around those that they like and have romantic interest in. When you share conversations with her that go on and on, or if you find her more conversant around you, take this as a sign of interest. Also, speaking with her more should put her more at ease around you, which will make asking her out less difficult. Some topics you can use to get her started include:
   • Future plans
   • Hobbies and sports
   • Family
   • Favorite class
   • Dream job
3. Use soft communication styles when asking direct questions. After weeks of wondering, "Does she like me?" you might be ready to ask, but with a shy girl, this might not be the best decision. Try to approach whatever question is on your mind in a way that gives an escape if the question is too uncomfortable.
   • Whatever you do, do not comment on how shy she is, as this could make her even more self-conscious and less willing to talk.
   • Instead of asking, "Want to go to a movie with me?" you might instead mention, "That movie looks really great. I was hoping to see it next week when it comes out, but I don't have anyone to go with."
4. Try asking her out. If you see a lot of the signs and signals of romance in your relationship with her, and you believe that she likes you, trust your instincts. And remember, though rejection is rarely enjoyable, if you never try, you'll never have a chance of finding that special someone.

Tips

• Try not to attract a lot of attention to the shy girl. Shy girls don't like that!
• Making an honest effort will be appreciated.
• Be yourself.
• Be confident.
• Some shy girls give mixed signals; they don't always know how to react to situations or conversations and may back off or defer if uncomfortable.
• Asking her about her interests to start a conversation.
• Try not to tease or embarrass them; shy girls can feel awkward if you do this.
• Be observant.
• If she doesn't want to talk about herself, don't force the point.
• Sometimes she may be short-tempered or seem somewhat rude. This may simply be the result of nerves.
• If she looks at you and smiles, smile back. This will show her that you are friendly and want to be friends.
• Sometimes she may be afraid to talk, so if she defaults to a simple conversation, responding reservedly, be patient with her.
• Don't try and tease her or make any jokes that could come across as "rude", unless she's a joker. Otherwise she may take it to heart and overthink it, thinking you don't like her, then she'll be even more quiet around you or even avoid you.

Related Articles

• Tell if It's an Acquaintance, Friend, Crush, or Love
• Know when to Make Your Move on a Girl
• Look Appealing in Front of Your Crush
• Talk to Your Crush Without Being Crushed
• Attract Your Crush
• Win a Girl's Heart
• Know if a Shy Guy Likes You in High School

Sources and Citations

See also

• Get Any Boy to Fall in Love With You
• Tell a Guy You Like Him
• Be a Side Chick
• Talk to a Girl You Would Like to Date but Are Too Afraid to Approach
• Start Talking to Your Parents About Your First Relationship
• Be a Good Girlfriend in Middle School
• Act Around Girls
• Get a Girl to Like You when She Has a Boyfriend
• Be Big and Still Get a Girl
• Handle Boys when You're a Teenage Girl

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What links here

• Tell if a Girl Likes You in School
• Ask a Shy Girl Out
• Know if a Girl in Middle School Likes You
• Know if a Shy Guy Likes You in High School
• Know when to Make Your Move on a Girl
• Look Appealing in Front of Your Crush