Deal With Falling in Love

Falling in love can be a wonderful time, but it can also cause you to feel all kinds of stressful emotions. During this time, you may need to do somethings differently in order to deal with the way that you feel. You can do things like maintaining your physical appearance, using positive self-talk, and asking questions to get to know your love interest better.

Steps

Dealing with Your Emotions

  1. Know that what you are feeling is normal. When falling in love, your hormones go wild and may cause you to feel all sorts of things that seem abnormal. You might feel delirious with joy, anxious, stressed, or even a bit obsessed with your new love. Just keep in mind that the feelings you are having are normal and they will become more tolerable with time.[1]
    • Make sure that you do not allow your feelings to take over your life. Continue to make time for yourself and keep up with your normal routine.
  2. Express your feelings. To deal with the flood of new emotions that come with falling in love, you might find it useful to find an outlet to express the way that you feel. Consider talking to a trusted friend about your response to the new love or write about your feelings in a journal. Journaling has the added benefit of reducing stress and helping you deal with problems, so it may help you work through your feelings.[2]
    • Writing about your feelings in a journal can be a great way to cope with them. Try to write about how you have been feeling for about 15-20 minutes per day. You may even find yourself feeling more creative as a result of your new love and want to try your hand at some poetry.
  3. Maintain your physical health. Even if you are so overcome with love that you feel like spending all of your time thinking of your love interest, make sure that you continue to take care of your basic needs, such as diet, exercise, and sleep. To keep yourself looking and feeling your best, consider speaking with a nutritionist, joining a gym, or taking yoga classes.[3]
    • Eat healthy. Look for ways to improve your eating habits, such as by reducing fat and sugar and eating more fruits and vegetables.
    • Exercise for 30 minutes every day. You should try to incorporate at least 30 minutes of moderate physical activity into your routine every day.
    • Give yourself enough time to rest and relax each day. Try to sleep for about 8 hours every night and allow yourself plenty of time to relax each day. Try meditation, yoga, or deep breathing exercises.
  4. Pamper yourself. Making time for pampering and grooming may help you deal with your feelings of love and it will help you look your best for the person as well. Make sure that you are maintaining a good grooming regimen, keeping your hair trimmed and styled, and treating yourself to new clothes now and then.[3]
    • Allow time for grooming. Shower every day. Use deodorant, makeup, hair products, and other products to help you look and feel your best.
    • Visit a salon or barber shop. Get your hair done or get a new haircut to revamp your current look. While you are there, you might also consider getting another treatment such as a manicure, wax, or massage.
    • Buy yourself some new clothes. If you haven’t bought yourself a new outfit in a while, consider getting yourself some new clothes. Buy clothes that fit you well and make you feel sexy.
  5. Find ways to distract yourself. It is important to take time for yourself in any relationship, especially in the beginning. Having time to yourself may be difficult because you are preoccupied with thoughts of your new love. Make sure that you do things that you enjoy in order to distract yourself. Maintaining an active social life will also show your love interest that you are well-liked and may increase their desire to pursue you.[4]
    • Take up a new hobby.
    • Go out and do something fun with your friends.
    • Cook yourself a fancy dinner and watch a favorite movie.
  6. Use positive self-talk to deal with anxiety or other negative emotions. Falling in love can cause a lot of anxiety and self-doubt, so it may be necessary for you to build yourself up from time to time. Using positive self-talk can help you to overcome some of the negative thoughts and feelings that you may be having.[5]
    • For example, if you find yourself feeling anxious about the person’s feelings about you, try telling yourself “If it’s meant to be, he/she will tell me how he feels. If not, there are lots of other guys/girls that would love to be with me.”
  7. Consider talking to a therapist if your obsession seems unhealthy. If you reach a point where you are having trouble functioning in your daily life, you may need to seek professional help. Consider talking to a mental health professional if you feel like you are developing an unhealthy obsession with the person.

Interacting with the Person You Love

  1. Play it cool. If you are not yet in a relationship with the person you love, try not to let on that you are interested in anything more than friendship at first. Treat the person like a friend and don’t flirt too much when you are first getting to know each other. If you come on too strong in the beginning, the person may feel pressured and avoid being around you.[6]
  2. Give the person space. You may be tempted to spend every waking moment with your new love, but don’t. It is necessary for both of you to have space and to keep living your lives. If you fail to keep other commitments to spend time with your new love, you may end up damaging your other relationships and your new love may not find this behavior attractive.[7]
  3. Ask questions to get to know the person better. Research has shown that when people talk about themselves, they feel the same pleasure as when they eat or receive money.[8] To get to know someone better and make them feel good in the process, ask questions about their life and interests.
    • Try starting with normal questions such as, “where did you grow up?” and then progress to more interesting one’s like, “If you could be famous for something, what would you want it to be?”[9]
  4. Flirt a little. Flirting can show someone that you are interested in them and it can also be a good way to propel a relationship forward. Make sure that you keep flirting with your new love even if you two are in a relationship. Simple things like a touch on the arm, a wink, or a cute comment can count as flirting.[6] Some other flirtatious moves you might try include:
    • Eye gazing. A lingering gaze can let someone know that you are interested and it may also increase their affection for you. [10]
    • Facing the person you like. Facing and mirroring the position of someone else’s body can show them you are interested.[10]
    • Smile. Smiling will let someone know you are interested, but to all else it might just seem like you are being friendly.[11]
  5. Move on if the person does not feel the same way about you. Sometimes love is just not meant to be. If you have been pursuing someone for a while and they don’t seem to respond to your advances, don’t waste any more time on the person. It may be that they are not interested or just not ready for a relationship. Put your time and energy into someone who reciprocates your feelings.

Tips

  • Do not let the circumstances from a past love make you fearful of loving someone new.
  • Keep in mind that some people may not reciprocate your love, but that does not mean that you can’t find someone who will love and appreciate you.

Warnings

  • Don't confuse a really good friendship with falling in love. Sometimes a good friendship will lead to falling in love, but if you tell your male or female friend that you love them, it could really complicate your relationship!

Related Articles

Sources and Citations

  1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/get-hardy/201203/the-early-stages-falling-in-love
  2. ↑ http://psychcentral.com/lib/the-health-benefits-of-journaling/
  3. ↑ 3.0 3.1 https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201402/how-flirt-and-be-attractive
  4. ↑ http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/a2441/What-Makes-Men-Fall-in-Love/
  5. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/insight-is-2020/201111/4-rules-surviving-dating-how-find-lasting-love
  6. ↑ 6.0 6.1 http://youqueen.com/love/seduction/how-to-get-a-guy-interested-in-you/
  7. ↑ http://www.eharmony.com/dating-advice/relationships/the-one-feeling-that-makes-a-man-fall-and-stay-in-love/#.VbY6PflViko
  8. ↑ http://theweek.com/articles/455043/how-make-people-like-6-sciencebased-conversation-hacks
  9. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/open-gently/201310/36-questions-bring-you-closer-together
  10. ↑ 10.0 10.1 http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/hottopics/love/flirting.shtml
  11. ↑ http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/02699931.2013.817383#.VbJRXvlVikp
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