Know What to Say if Your Crush Asks You if You Like Her

If you suspect that your crush may ask you if you like her, you should find out if she likes you too. Pay attention to the way she talks, the body language she uses and her behaviors. Then, if the time comes for you to talk to her about your feelings, read about how to have a good conversation with her and come off confident and act kind, regardless of how she feels. Also, learn things that you can do to make you feel good about yourself and move on if she doesn't like you back.

Steps

Figuring Out If She Likes You

1. Listen to the way she asks you if you have a crush on her. If her voice drops so that it is deeper and more breathy than usual, she may have feelings for you. People who study attraction find that girls may think that when they have feelings for someone it is more seductive to make their voice lower and huskier to attract that person. Whatever the case, paying attention to the tone of her voice could tell you whether or not she is asking you about your feelings because she has a crush on you too.
2. Watch for how she looks at you. If her gaze seems to be going to your face and eyes a lot in conversation, she may like you. If she blinks a lot when you are talking to her, more than 6-10 times in a minute, then this could be another sign that she does like you. If you notice the black pupils in her eyes get smaller when she is looking at you, again, she might like you. But pay attention to the lighting when her pupils get smaller; if the lightness in the room suddenly gets brighter, that may be the reason why her pupils are getting smaller.
   • If she raises her eyebrows often when she is talking to you, this could mean that she is worried and anxious. And the attention that she is paying to you may be because she is worried that you like her.
3. Look out for her gestures and posture. If while she is laughing she straightens up or positions herself so that she looks prettier, she may have a crush on you. Touching her clothes and tilting her head, too, can show that she has feelings for you, especially if they are all grouped together at the same time. For example, if she is smiling, touching her neck, and has her head tilted, that might be a very good sign.
   • Be careful reading too much into these signs, some girls who are extroverted might act this way because they enjoy themselves in conversation. It might not mean that they have a crush on you.
   • Notice how she gestures with her friends to see if she acts the same way in normal conversation. If she acts this way with her friends, it might only mean that she is an expressive person.
4. Pay attention to the signs that she doesn’t like you. There is also body language that could mean that she is not interested in you romantically that you might want to look out for. This body language would most likely happen when you are flirting with her. If she fake smiles a lot during your interactions, for example, perhaps she is not interested in you. Fake smiling is pretty easy to spot- she will smile only with her mouth while her eyes and cheeks look normal. Another sign of possible disinterest is if she is raising her eyebrows often in conversation, this could be a sign that she is uncomfortable or nervous. Yet another sign is if she keeps her arms and legs crossed when you talk to her. This may mean that she is not interested or is closed off to you.
   • Ask her if she is worried about anything. If she responds that something is causing her anxiety or stress, perhaps her gestures aren’t about you.
   • If she does like you but doesn’t know if you like her too, then these signs could mean that she is anxious about her feelings for you. If you notice that she is sending you mixed signals, you may want to ask her how she feels about you.
5. Hang out with her more before you decide that she does or doesn’t like you. Both guys and girls are not always very good at guessing correctly that someone is flirting with them because flirting is hard to pick up on. Attraction can be difficult to pick up on because girls, and people in general, don’t want to be obvious about their romantic feelings if they don’t know how they will be taken. So make sure you have had lots of conversations before you decide whether she likes you or not. Most of all, it is important that you pay attention to the way that she acts toward you over time.

Talking To Her About Your Crush

1. Stop and find a good place to have a conversation. If she asks you if you have a crush on her and you are in a place where it is difficult to talk, relocate to a better place. Tell her “I want to talk to you about this. Can we find a better place to talk?”. Go to a place where you two can sit down and talk. This could be a park bench, a coffee table, or a corner in a house that is quiet.
   • Ask her how she feels about going to a particular place if you are worried that she may not be comfortable leaving where you are at the moment.
2. Tell her how you feel. Once you are situated you should bring back up the topic of conversation. Say “So you asked me about how I feel about you” this will bring a good level of anticipation to your answer. You can add a pause if you want to. Then say “I have a crush on you.” Don’t be overly confident when you tell her how you feel, this could make you seem arrogant or hurt you if she doesn’t like you back. Go for a slightly hopeful and matter of fact tone.
   • It is good to own your feelings whether or not you think that she likes you back. Even if you experience rejection, you will be able to move on faster because you were honest.
   • You might be tempted to ask her why she is asking before you answer, but she will appreciate it if you are bold enough and answer her question without asking for an explanation. Also, this confidence will most likely make you more attractive.
3. Ask her how she feels about you. You have a right to know if she likes you back. You can ask the question straight out- “Do you have romantic feelings for me?”. It is good to be specific with this question, even if it seems unnecessary to be specific or sounds weird. The reason why it can be better to say “romantic feelings” is because people can take “like” in lots of different ways. For example, it may be harder for her to answer you honestly if you use “like me” instead of “like me romantically”.
   • Remember that it is better for you in the long run to hear her honest answer about her feelings, rather than an ambiguous response. The sooner you know her honest feelings about you the sooner you can move on if she doesn’t like you.
   • Don’t assume her reasons for asking you, so be kind and honest with her, even if you think that she doesn’t like you.
   • Depending on her personality and her feelings, there are a variety of ways she could respond. Here are a few possibilities: she could answer with a straight yes or no, or she might not want to hurt your feelings so she may say things like “I really like you as a friend”. Finally, she might answer ambiguously because she doesn’t want to hurt you and/or doesn’t know how she feels about you. She might say “I kind of like you but I don’t know.”
4. Give her an explanation of why you have feelings for her. This explanation will vary a lot based on how she feels. No matter how she feels, it is nice to say something in response to her answer. Even if she doesn’t like you, you should be kind to her and respect her feelings.
   • If she likes you back or seems to like you back, you can tell her all the awesome reasons why you like her. You can talk about how pretty you think she is, how intelligent you find her, how funny you think she is, how caring and kind you think that she is, etc.. Be sure to use specific and concrete examples to compliment her. For example, you can talk about when you first knew you liked her and how you knew. Describe how you knew with a short story, “I knew I had a crush on you when we were sitting next to each other in Algebra. At first you were so annoying because you knew all the answers to the questions but after a while I found that I couldn’t stop smiling when I saw your hand raised.”
   • If she seems confused or ambiguous, you can ask her if she wants you to explain your romantic feelings for her. If she wants to know then you can explain all the awesome ways you feel about her. Be careful while you explain if she doesn’t know how she feels about you because telling her how you feel might make you feel more vulnerable. If she doesn’t want you to go on, respond with the next response.
   • If she doesn’t like you back, keep your cool and try to genuinely thank her for being honest with you. Tell her something nice and short. For example, “I think you are a really cool person. Thanks for being honest with me.” She will respect you for being a big person and taking the rejection well. If you are having a hard time with your emotions, you can say “I think I need some space and time. Thanks for talking to me.” Then you can find somewhere to go to be alone for a while.

Moving On If She Doesn’t Feel The Same

1. Take some space for your immediate reaction to pass. You may feel intense feelings if you are rejected, but try to let your first panicked emotions wash over you. Your feelings will get less intense after a couple of days. Try to wait for them patiently to pass, and avoid talking about it to people who you might regret talking to later or doing anything that you will regret. For example, do not post on social media about her.
   • Exercise can help you process your emotions. Going on a run or doing your exercise routine if you notice that your emotions are getting out of control is a healthy way to handle your emotions.
2. Treat yourself like a friend. We all talk to ourselves in our heads and sometimes we can be very hard on ourselves after we have been rejected. For example, you might say to yourself “No one will ever like me.” But when you start to think these negative thoughts ask yourself if your friend would talk to you like that. A friend would never say “No one will ever like you”, and not only because it is not very nice, but because it is an unfair and overly negative conclusion that a friend would not think. Focus on redirecting your negative thoughts to all of the good things that you did, the ways you can still grow, or the humor in the situation.
   • Reframe your negative thoughts into positive ones. Instead of “No one will ever like you”, think “She doesn’t like me but that doesn’t mean I don’t have great qualities.” Or focus on the good things you did. Say to yourself something like, “It was an awkward situation, but you were honest and nice.”
3. Think about her perspective and feelings. Ask yourself what other things are going on in her life. This might be something difficult to do at first, but the more you can understand what is going on with her the less the rejection will probably seem about you. Remember her feelings are part of a bigger picture that doesn’t involve you.
   • Be careful about making assumptions about the way she feels about you. For example, you might think “She doesn’t like me because I have a funny voice.” But you can’t read her thoughts. She may have recently gotten out of a relationship or is interested in someone else, whatever the case, she is probably preoccupied thinking about her own life and feelings.
4. Go out with your friends. Spend time with good friends who make you feel good about yourself. These people will remind you of your interests and the things that you love. Pick activities where you will laugh and have fun. For example, go out to a funny movie with your friends and then talk about it after. Laughter will release your endorphins and help you relax.
5. Distance yourself from her. If you are having a hard time with your emotions, tell her that you’d like some time and space from your friendship. Having her out of your life for the time being will help you focus on you. Start hanging out with a different friend group or talking to new people- this will help you distance yourself from her. When you feel like you are ready to move on, start talking to girls you are interested in.

Related Articles

• Talk to Your Crush Without Being Crushed
• Deal With a Crush
• Get Your Crush to Be Your Friend
• Answer when Your Crush Asks You a Strange Question

Sources and Citations

See also

• Keep the Conversation Flowing with a Girl (for Guys)
• Improve Your Chances of Getting a Date with the Girl You Want (for Teens)
• Drop Hints to a Girl That You Like Her
• Talk to a Girl You Like for the First Time
• Tell if a Girl Likes You in School
• Talk to Girls as a Teen Boy
• Win a Teenage Girl's Heart
• Attract a Younger Girl That Barely Knows You
• Attract a Christian Girl
• Know if a Girl in Middle School Likes You

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• Spend Time With Your Crush at School