Make Friends with Your Crush when You're a Klutz Around Him

If you are always stumbling over your own feet in front of your crush, it can be hard to establish a long-term friendship with him. But, it is possible. You need to start by boosting your own personal confidence levels. Try to calm your nerves by deep breathing and using positive thinking. Display your self-worth to others by walking confidently and holding yourself up proudly. When you talk with your crush, express an interest in his activities and talk a bit about your own accomplishments as well.

Steps

Building Up Your Confidence

  1. Remind yourself of a recent accomplishment. Think about something that you’ve done recently that makes you proud. Try to conjure up the details of this accomplishment right before you know you’re about to run into your crush. If you run into him unexpectedly, then take a few seconds to think of what you can do and compose yourself.
    • For example, you might think of a time when you weren’t clumsy, such as when you won that marathon the other day.
    • You could also recall how you improved your grades in a certain class. If you work hard enough at anything, you can improve it.
  2. Take a few deep breaths. If you’ve just tripped or if you start stuttering, calm your nerves by exhaling and inhaling a number of times before continuing. Try inhaling slowly as you count to five, then exhale slowly as you count to five. This will allow you to collect your thoughts and refocus before proceeding.
    • If your crush questions what you are doing, you might say, “Oh, I’ve just got a lot going on. I was trying to clear my mind so I could pay attention to you.”
  3. Repeat positive mantras to yourself. There is a great deal of power in positive thinking. So, if you’ve had a bad day and something happened in front of your crush, then you might want to tell yourself, “It’s just one day,” or “I can do this.” Eventually you will start to believe your own words.
    • You might say to yourself, “You have too much going on to worry about this. Let’s move on.” Or, “Let’s make tomorrow a better day.”
  4. Pay attention to body language. If you find yourself closing your body off after an embarrassing moment, force yourself to adopt an open stance. Uncross your arms and legs. Lift your head and look around. Make eye contact with those persons near you.[1]
    • You can also subtly flirt with your crush by touching your face or neck. You may notice that they start to mirror your movements as well.
  5. Recognize the signs of your own fear and anxiety. Start paying close attention to your body and your emotions. If you notice that you start to feel jittery right before you get really clumsy, then use this as a sign that you probably need to go sit down somewhere. Or, if your mind feels as if it racing before you begin to stutter, then try to calm down before speaking.[2]
  6. Remember your past moments of clumsiness and relax. Take a moment to recall how you’ve survived all sorts of crazy incidents in the past. This will remind you that you are a survivor. In fact, many of the incidents that you remember can’t even be recalled by your crush. When you feel as if you can’t go on, just think about how you’ve had this emotion before and you’ve done just fine.[2]

Projecting Your Confidence to Others

  1. Take pride in your appearance. If you think you might run into your crush, take a few extra minutes to brush your hair an extra bit or maybe put on one of your favorite tops. Don’t go overboard but a little extra primping may give you that extra bit of poise to counteract any klutziness.[3]
    • For example, you could style your hair in a way that makes you feel the most confident, such as a sophisticated up-do. Or, you could give yourself a home manicure or pedicure every other week.
    • Other people will also notice that you look put together and they will be less likely to pick on you or bother you as a result. Your confidence will make them view any mishaps on your part as simply accidents and nothing more.
  2. Stay smiling. Keep a slight smile on your face, even if the going gets tough. This will show others that you are not that affected by any klutzy behavior and that you’ve moved on, so they should too. Smiling also relaxes your body, reduces stress, and makes other people feel more comfortable with you.[3]
    • If you are not sure how your smile looks, you might want to practice a bit in front of a mirror. You will soon find that it comes naturally to you when you feel good.
  3. Keep an eye on your posture. The best way to demonstrate that you do control your body is to carry yourself in the best possible way. Keep your back straight and pay attention to holding your shoulders back as you walk. Focus on taking clear, deep breaths as well. A benefit of maintaining proper posture is that it will also help to minimize any clumsiness in the future.[3]
    • As you walk over to meet your crush and other friends, imagine balancing a book on your head. Each step that you take must be slow and chosen carefully. This will make you less likely to trip or fall.
  4. Strike up a conversation with his friends. If you are unsure whether or not you can talk to your crush without stumbling, try to interact with his friends instead. Ask them about their hobbies or interests. Talk to them about the day’s events. Just be casual and discuss anything that comes to mind. This can help you build up to interacting with your crush directly.[4]
    • You might say, “Did you all go to the football game on Friday?” Or, “What do you guys have planned for Spring Break?”
  5. Resist the urge to apologize. As soon as you fall, you may feel the need to stand up and say, “I’m sorry,” to everyone who witnessed it. Unless you hurt or knocked someone else down, this isn’t really necessary. Stating an apology could make you feel better, but it will likely make you feel worse and even less worthy of being around your crush. So, just skip it entirely.[2]

Interacting with Your Crush in a Positive Way

  1. Laugh off any accidents. Right after you do something clumsy, come up laughing. This takes a potentially negative moment and makes it into a positive one. It also makes it less likely that anyone will try to pick on you because of the incident. They are more likely to laugh right along.
  2. Swap embarrassing stories with others. This is a good way to build community with others on the basis of what might have seemed like a negative event. They will likely agree with you and may even tell you a few stories of their own.[2]
    • You could say, “I hate when I trip over my own feet. Have you ever done that before?”
  3. Talk about what you love. If gracefulness isn’t your strong suit, switch the subject to something that you are good at. When you start to talk about something that you are passionate about, others will instantly be interested and will forget any prior actions on your part. The dopamine that comes from relieving a hobby of yours will also help to calm your nerves down.[1]
    • For example, you might say, “I just went to this amazing concert last week. Let me tell you guys all about it.”
  4. Recognize if he is nervous, too. Just after you’ve had a clumsy moment, take a second to look closely at your crush. You may seem that he is sweating a bit or perhaps wringing his hands too. These are signs that he is nervous as well. It means that you are not alone.[5]
    • You can also watch for erratic eye contact. If he can’t look you directly in the face, he may be nervous. He may blush as well.
  5. Don’t be put off by his silence. Your crush might be shy. Or, he might feel bad for you after an embarrassing moment and not know what to say. Give him the benefit of the doubt and don’t expect too much conversation until you get to know him better. Be patient and keep trying to reach out to him in friendship.[4]
    • You might start by simply saying, “Hi!” on a regular basis. If he responds, great. If not, then keeping moving on.
  6. Focus on minor details around you. If you are talking with your crush and his friends and find yourself growing more nervous, turn your attention to your surroundings. Look at the people around you and pay attention to what they are wearing. Try to pick out your favorite elements of the room that you are in. Try to stay engaged but a bit distracted at the same time.[1]
  7. Feel out his interest level with casual questions. If you want to gauge your crush’s level of interest in you, without resorting to klutzy questioning, then try to talk with him about relationships and friendships in general. Ask him about his closest friends. Talk to him about his family relationships.[6]
    • Pay attention to not only what he says, but how he answers the questions as well. Does he give you his full attention or are you an afterthought?
    • You might say, “Tell me about your best friend. You said that he lives out of town, right?”
  8. Ask your friends for help. Tell your friends about your dilemma and ask them to walk around with you when you might run into your crush. They will hopefully distract everyone from anything embarrassing that you might do. They can also talk about your positive traits and give you a dose of needed confidence. Make sure to return the favor when you can.
    • You might tell your friends, “I could really use your help when I’m around my crush. If you could start talking to everyone or distract them if I do something klutzy, that would be great.”

Tips

  • Don’t feel the need to change yourself for anyone, even your crush. If he can’t care for you despite your clumsiness, then you can find a better friend.

Warnings

  • If you know that you have a clumsy streak, try your best to watch your surroundings so that you don’t end up hurting yourself.

Related Articles

Sources and Citations

  1. ↑ 1.0 1.1 1.2 http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/a3179/how-to-attract-a-guy-0210/
  2. ↑ 2.0 2.1 2.2 2.3 http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2011/06/18/how-to-overcome-embarrassment/
  3. ↑ 3.0 3.1 3.2 http://liveboldandbloom.com/10/self-confidence/body-language-tips
  4. ↑ 4.0 4.1 http://slism.com/girlstalk/7-signs-a-shy-guy-likes-you-even-if-he-does-seem-interested.html
  5. ↑ https://pairedlife.com/dating/signs-your-crush-likes-you
  6. ↑ http://www.seventeen.com/love/dating-advice/advice/a7606/nervous-around-guys/
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