Survive a Bad Breakup

Unfortunately, we've all been there. One day you're in a great relationship, the next, you're alone. Breakups can be really hard and if you don't know how to cope, you can lose your mind. Below you'll find some foolproof steps to help you to survive a bad breakup.

Steps

  1. Let yourself grieve. If any person tells you not to cry or to not waste time being upset, they are wrong. Although your friends may tell you, "You've gotta get out and move on," you will never be able to move on until you give yourself time to get over the past relationship. Make the day after a breakup your grieving time. Let yourself cry. Let yourself be miserable. Lie in bed all day if you want to. The point is to just let all of your emotions out. If you give yourself a full day to grieve, you'll be surprised at how much easier it will become to move on a week later.
  2. Forgive yourself. Perhaps you did contribute to their decision to break up with you in some way. However, this does not make it your fault. Nor does it make you a bad person. It is your ex-partner's loss - you have a lot to offer and sadly they could not see that untapped potential.
    • Do not blame yourself. When someone breaks up with you with no reason offered, it is all too simple to think that you are entirely at fault. Perhaps you feel you were not enough for that person, insufficiently popular or not as exciting as someone else they fancied. If your former significant other broke up with you on such vain terms, then they are not worth your time. There are others out there who will see the positives in you.
  3. Surround yourself with people. If you're feeling down, the last thing you want is to be alone. After your day of grieving is over, if you're still feeling upset, invite a friend or two over to keep you preoccupied. If you're a girl, grab some Ben and Jerry's and watch some good chick flicks with your friends. If you're a guy, watch some sports and play some video games, whatever makes you happy, as long as you're not alone.
    • Do not go out and initiate another relationship straight away. You need time to heal and cannot offer someone else your complete self if you are still in mourning. Friends are a suitable substitute. When it is right to move on, you will know when the time comes. This can be sooner or later - depending on an individual's preference.
  4. Do not drink alcohol. Nothing positive comes out of drinking when you're fresh out of a relationship and still upset over it. Drinking brings out all of your emotions and intensifies them by a million. If you go out drinking and are not over the relationship, you'll just end up getting upset and/or angry. There's also a good chance you'll try calling, texting or emailing your ex telling them how much you miss them and want them back. This is the worst thing you could possibly do. When you wake up the next morning, you'll surprisingly feel a thousand times worse than you did before, and be full of regret.
  5. Keep yourself busy. This step is key to getting over a bad breakup. Although you might want to just lie on your couch and sulk, you need to get out and be busy. Go shopping, meet up with a friend, or even just go out for a run. The less time you have to dwell over the old relationship, the more quickly you will be able to get over it.
    • Delete everything. Photos, videos, text messages, Facebook conversations, everything. It's tempting to go back and read/see everything again. But it's pointless and hurtful to do so. If you can't do it, ask a friend to do it for you. It will help.
  6. Pay attention to your work. If you're working or in college, pay attention to what you should be doing. Work hard, study a lot, and you will think about this person a lot less, for sure. Especially if you like what you're doing, this is going to be productive and very good for you.
  7. Join a sport, take up a hobby. This a great time to explore your own needs and wants and the challenge yourself. You're single again and can dedicate more of your time to your personal development. Sport clubs are an excellent way to meet new people and perhaps even learn something new about yourself. This is not an excuse to "show" your significant other how much better off you are without them. Certainly it is fine to feel that you may have grown without them, but at the end of the day, the motivation should come from within yourself.
  8. Remember that although the breakup is sad, it's not the end of the world. There are billions of people in this world and you will find someone else. Everything happens for a reason, and you learn something from every relationship, so take what you have learned from the past, and use your knowledge to avoid similar problems in the future. If you follow these steps, and try to stay positive, you'll be back out playing the dating game before you know it!
  9. Reflect on your future. Do a lot of thinking, sit alone and think. You need to think about your future, what are you going to do next, after this person. Maybe you can start working out again, maybe you should stay away from dating for a while and focus on yourself. Be a better person, improve yourself. Think about what you didn't do when you were with this person, and do it now. Let the other stuff back in that you'd given up to make space for that person. Get right back on track again, and you will feel really good. And get a lot of sleep, it will help you regain your strength for another day.



Tips

  • Whatever you do, don't have sex with your ex anymore. It takes you backwards emotionally.
  • Don't manufacture excuses to contact your ex. "Did I leave my jacket at your place? I can't find it anywhere!" They will instantly see through such a flimsy pretext.
  • Don't look for your ex-partner when around town. Try to avoid their frequent haunts and certainly do not visit their area unless with good reason. Nothing good will come of it.
  • Don't beg for them to take you back or give you another chance right after they break up with you. They may just find it annoying and desperate. Compromise and just become friends, or stay away from them altogether.
  • If you were friends with your ex's family, realize that this relationship is gone as well. They will find it awkward to continue seeing you, no matter how close you were to them.

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