Get Your Overly Sensitive Boyfriend to Dump You

You've gotten involved with a guy who's used to being babied, a guy who seems to become devastated over the littlest thing. You don't want to be around him anymore, but you're scared that if you break up with him, he'll sob hysterically, beg you not to, and refuse to take "no" for an answer. Worse yet, even if you do manage to break things off, he might keep begging and become more pitiful than ever. One way to get around that is to get him to break up with you. That way, he'll feel it was a decision he made, and he won't keep imploring you to take him back.

Steps

  1. Carefully consider whether this method is right for you. The steps below will cause your sensitive boyfriend a great deal of pain and trauma, much more than ending the relationship directly. It may even scar him permanently. Your mind must be made up that you want to cause this pain and trauma, or you may be unable to go through with it. This is also a good time to consider whether this is right for your relationship. Consider a direct break up. Using these steps as a first resort could backfire on you, causing strain between yourself and others, who may perceive you to be creating an abusive relationship. Make sure you actually want to end the relationship. If you have a good relationship, try talking to him first before take these steps. Tell him how you feel but politely.
  2. Start becoming more selfish. When he tries to tell you about how horrible his day was, casually change the subject with something you suddenly remember you have to tell him. At first, do this occasionally, then start doing it more often until every conversation becomes all about you.
  3. Don't give him the sympathy or pity he's looking for. Maybe you can just shrug and say "Yeah, that's a bummer." The idea is to gradually stop giving him the emotional support he's used to getting from you. You don't have to be cruel; just don't give him the shoulder-to-cry-on that he's wanting.
  4. If he cries on your shoulder anyway, stand there and hug him, but don't comfort him. Don't say anything like 'Come here baby' or 'there there'. Just stand there emotionless. Don't even think about bringing up conversation relating to what he is so upset over.
  5. When he says "I love you" try not to say it back. If you've made a habit of saying it, though, taper that off. If he starts making a big deal out of it, just murmur it back, quickly, So its not understandable.
  6. Become irritable and moody. Don't make it seem like it's his fault, but that you are just mad at the world and want to be alone because you don't want to snap at him. Do this more and more often if possible.
  7. Stop being as affectionate. If he makes the initiative, don't make it obvious that you don't want to, but do not make the first move yourself. Get to the point where you accept the affection, but don't give it back. And eventually, pretend to be annoyed by his affection. If he puts his arm around your shoulders, for example, you can say your shoulders are sore, you're not sure why, could he not do that for the next few days?
  8. Try not to talk to him. Make as little conversation as possible. If he talks, reply with short answers, like "hmm" or "yeh".
  9. If he hates listening to stories about your previous partners, tell him loads, and add a bit of extras in to make him feel even more insecure.
  10. Become busy with everything except him. Spend as much time at work as you can, or with family. After all that work, of course you only want to go to bed.
  11. At this point, your boyfriend should be quite annoyed and sad with where this relationship is going, and is probably having a lot of depressed moments himself. When he finally goes to break up with you though, apply the following:
    • Just be quiet and listen when he is talking, don't interrupt him or make arguments.
    • When he makes statements about his confusion regarding your attitude and behavior, don't offer an explanation, just shrug and say you don't understand it either.
    • Don't cry. You knew this was coming, so even if it does hurt your feelings, keep a straight face and deal with it.
    • Don't smile either. Victory may be at hand, but you need to finish the battle first.
    • Do not console him. Don't hug him and say this is probably for the best, and don't do "one last kiss". Ever.
  12. With the break up done, get out of there as fast as you can. If he tries to call or get back with you, maintain that icy heart that you've had since the start of this quest.
    • Or just be a grown-up and tell him it's not working, and you both need to move on. This is best way and it will prevent all the trouble and harm to him.

Tips

  • If you don't have time to methodically destroy someone's self esteem to save yourself the trouble of ending the relationship yourself, simply leave this page up on your screen for him to "discover", or share it on your Facebook page with a comment like "I wonder if this would really work?". Chances are once he realizes you're the type of person to consider something like this, he happily call off the relationship and save you the hassle of making a list.
  • For opposite motivation; make a list of all the things you like, or used to like, about your boyfriend. Compare this list to your dislikes. Rate annoyances and likeable things on a scale of 1-10 (10=most profound, highest), add your likes and dislikes together. If these numbers are fairly close, or the latter is a greater number, reconsider trying to manipulate your boyfriend and yourself out of a relationship. If your dislikes are far greater consider being honest about your feelings. Some one you love leaving you is less painful than some one you love distinctly changing who they are in order to make you miserable enough to leave them.
  • Reconsider being direct - doing the above reinforces many negative stereotypes about women. Next time someone calls women "moody" or "irrational", remember that you've deliberately gone out of your way to act so to avoid being inconvenienced. Screwing around with a person you formally claimed to love, like the above, makes him confused and causes him to harbor resentment towards women in general. Sometimes the kindest thing you can do is just tell the truth.
  • Consider how you got into this unhealthy relationship. Read How to Stop Being a People Pleaser
  • For motivation, spend a week observing him closely, and secretly noting down everything he does that repels you. Needless to say you do not want be caught doing this. Use discretion, and do not inform any mutual friends of what you are doing (the relationship consists of you and your boyfriend; frankly it's none of their business). At the end of the week read the list and you'll certainly feel more motivated to rid yourself of him. Read it, re-read it and destroy it (getting caught with a list of someone’s failings will screw up anyone's reputation, even that of someone who is decidedly not manipulative).
  • It can be difficult being in a relationship with an emotionally dependent person. They will sometimes lie about who they are, and maintain that lie until they are 'sure' that you want to stay with them. Then they change. Or, rather they start letting their true personality show. If you have already tried telling the person that you want out of the relationship, and they continue to try to manipulate you into staying, threaten you, or you don't feel safe just leaving because they might try to hurt you, your pets, or children, then I would say it's ok to be cold to them. could at least be worth a try if they think it is their idea to break up. Might save you from having to get a restraining order.

Warnings

  • Consider that you might make him think that life is not worth living by doing these steps.
  • Manipulating emotionally unstable people can lead to dangerous, risky, and undesirable behaviors including self mutilation and suicide.
  • People that are sensitive are not always used to being babied, they might be highly intelligent or creative, have emotional problems or mental problems like personality disorder or ADHD, or even something as simple as a hormonal imbalance.
  • Consider why you were attracted to this person in the first place. There are people out there who expect others to be responsible for their emotions, or have a victim mentality. Are you often drawn to such people because you want to help them, but then realize they can only help themselves and don't? Try to avoid this pattern in future relationships, but don't go to the other extreme, dating someone who is emotionally detached.
  • Consider very carefully how you would feel if someone used these methods on you or someone you care about.
  • Consider any guilt or insecurities that will follow you for manipulating someone you claimed to love.
  • Consider that perhaps it is you that needs to be more sensitive rather than the other way around.

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